The old lady tutted at the bad language and Montgomery tried to catch me by the scruff of my neck. I ducked out of his grasp, down towards the woman in the chair.
'Have you got a kiss for a condemned man?'
She laughed and landed me a smacker on the cheek enveloping me in her brandy breath. 'You’re an awfy fella. I pity the poor lass that takes you on. You’ll be the death of her.'
I said, 'If only you knew.' And reached into my pocket, grabbing a tenner. 'Here, have a drink on me the pair of you. For luck.'
'Keep your money, son, you’ll need it yourself.'
The old woman shoved the note back, but Montgomery seized me and our bodies collided. This was my chance. The policeman had replaced his wallet in his inside pocket.
His suit hung lower on the right than it did on the left. I guessed that was where he kept his keys. I only hoped that the one to the handcuff’s padlock was amongst them. I dipped my fingers quickly, found the bunch and thrust them swiftly into my own pocket, uncertain whether I’d gained my release or merely access to the pale rooms far away where Sheila Montgomery had spent so many hours grieving for her lost sister Gloria.
The old lady shouted after us, 'Cheers son. And you mind and look after that lassie of yours now.'
The old man shook his head and started to steer her down towards the Gallowgate.
I could feel Montgomery’s unease growing as we climbed the Panopticon’s dilapidated back staircase.
'What is this place?'
'I told you, it’s where I store my gear.'
'What’s wrong with a safety deposit box?'
'This is safe enough, and it doesn’t cost anything.'
Montgomery snorted.
'Bloody Jock.'
I thought I heard the sound of laughter up above us and glanced at Montgomery to see if he’d noticed, but he was shaking his head.
'I don’t like it.'
'I’m not exactly ecstatic myself. There’s a gun at my back, cuffs on my wrist and a couple of sterling threats hanging over me.' I made my voice soft and reasonable. 'Do you not think I’m as eager to get this over with as you are?'
Montgomery stuck the gun firmly into my spine just as another wave of laughter floated through the corridor. He pulled up short.
'What was that?'
'Don’t be so jumpy. It’s the bingo hall down below. Saturday’s their big day.' I grinned at him. 'What’s wrong? Scared of ghosts?'
He shoved me forward.
'Let’s just get on with it.'
I glanced at my watch. 'Aye, let’s.'
And pushed open the door that led onto the stage.
Johnny’s face broke into a mixture of confusion and relief when he saw me walking into the light, making no attempt to hide the handcuffs hooking Montgomery and me together. I nodded and he abandoned the half-hearted joke he’d been playing for time with, raising his hands in the air and shouting, 'Here’s the man we’ve all been waiting for, the magnificent, the magical, William Wilson!'
There was a roar of applause from the audience and Montgomery turned to leave, but the cuffs that had held me prisoner now did the same for him. He put the hand holding the gun into his pocket and I wondered if any of the adults noticed.
I jerked him across the stage; all the months of drink and dreary bedsits falling from me. Energy climbed up my spine along my limbs and crackled on my fingertips. I was home again. I peeled my lips back into a William Wilson grin and shouted, 'Take a good look at this man’s face. His name is Uncle Monty and he’s a terrible villain.'
The audience laughed.
I said, 'Shout, 'Hello Uncle Monty.''
Hello Uncle Monty!
The policeman tried to pull away but I wrenched him back, the wide smile on my face belying the pain jolting up my wrist.
'Look at his grumpy face. I don’t think he heard you, girls and boys, shall we shout a little louder and see if we can get him to say hello?'
The kids knew the drill. They took a deep breath of air, filled their little lungs to the top and bellowed Hello Uncle Monty!
I put my arm round Montgomery, leading him centre-stage, eager as an old dog in the vet’s waiting room and whispered, 'Don’t panic, you’ll get your photo. This way I’ve got a witness or two who’s seen us together.' I raised my voice again and shouted, 'Would you like to see some magic?'
Yes!
The hall was in full pantomime mode now. Montgomery still tried to edge us off stage, but I yanked him with
