Tally stopped reading. 'Kidnapped me?'
'Looks like there's been a change of plan since you wrote this,' Zane said.
Tally felt funny for a moment, the image of David now stronger in her head. 'If I wrote this. And if it's true. Anyway, Croy came to see me, not…David.' As she said his name, memories surged through Tally: David's hands roughened from years of work, his jacket made from sewn-together skins, the white scar that went through his eyebrow. A feeling like panic began to well up in her. 'What happened to David, Zane? Why didn't he come?'
He shook his head. 'I don't know. Were you and he …?'
Tally looked down at the letter again. It blurred before her, and a single teardrop fell onto the paper. Ink bled into the spattered mark, turning the tear black. 'I'm pretty sure we were.' Her voice was rough, memories tangled inside her. 'But something happened.'
'Oh?'
'I don't know what.' Tally wondered why she couldn't remember. Was it really because of lesions — the scars on her brain that the note had warned about? Or did she simply not want to?
'What's that in your hand, Tally?' Zane asked.
She opened her reddened palm to reveal the tiny white pills resting there. 'The cure. Let me finish this.' She took a steadying breath.
Zane let out a low whistle. 'So that's why you came back.'
'You believe this, don't you?'
His eyes flashed gold in the darkness. 'Of course. It all makes sense now. Why you can't remember David or coming back to the city. Why Shay has so many mixed-up stories about those days. Why the New Smokies are so interested in you.'
'Because I'm brain damaged?'
Zane shook his head. 'We're all brain damaged, Tally. Just like I thought. But you gave yourself up on purpose, knowing there's a cure.' He pointed at the pills in her hand. 'Those are the reason why you're here.'
She stared down at the pills, which looked small and insignificant in the gloom of the shack. 'But the letter said they might not even work. I might wind up brain-dead…'
He took her wrist lightly. 'If you don't want to take them, Tally, I will.'
She closed her hand. 'I can't let you do that.'
'But this is what I've been waiting for. A way to escape prettiness, to be bubbly all the time!'
'I wasn't waiting for this,' Tally cried. 'I didn't want anything but to be a Crim!'
He pointed at the letter. 'Yes, you did.'
'That wasn't me. She says so herself.'
'But you—' 'Maybe I changed my mind!'
'You didn't change your mind. The operation did.'
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
'Tally, you gave yourself up, knowing you'd have to risk the cure. That's amazingly brave.' Zane reached out and touched her face, his eyes shining in the shaft of sunlight that streamed across him. 'But if you don't want to, let me take the risk for you.'
Tally shook her head, wondering what she was more afraid of: the pills going wrong on her, or watching Zane turn into a vegetable in her place. Or maybe what she really feared was finding out what had happened to David. If only Croy had left her alone, or if she'd never found Valentino 317. If she could just forget the pills and stay dumb and pretty, none of this would ever worry her again. 'I just want to forget David.'
'Why?' Zane leaned closer. 'What did he do to you?'
'Nothing. He didn't do anything. But why did Croy leave these pills for me instead of him coming and taking me away? What if he's—' The shack shuddered for a moment, silencing her. They both looked up; something big had passed overhead.
'A hovercar…,' Tally whispered.
'Probably just flying over. As far as they know, we're in the pleasure garden.'
'Unless someone saw us up on the …' She fell silent as a cloud of dust stirred in through the half-opened door, glowing in the shaft of sunlight. 'It's landing.'
'They know we're here,' Zane said, and started tearing up the letter.
'What are you doing?'
'We can't let them find this,' he said. 'They can't know there's a cure.' He stuffed a piece of the letter into his mouth, grimacing at the taste.
She looked at the pills in her hand. 'What about these?'
He swallowed the paper with a tortured expression. 'I have to take them, now.' He bit off another piece of the letter and started chewing.
'They're so small,' she said. 'We could hide them.'
He shook his head, swallowing again. 'Getting caught without rings is pretty obvious, Tally. They'll want to know what we were up to. When you get some food in you, you won't be as bubbly — you might chicken out and hand over the pills.'
The sound of footsteps approached across the roof outside. Zane yanked the door almost shut, pulling the ends of the chain through to the inside and snapping the padlock closed, plunging them into darkness. 'That won't stop them for long. Give me the pills. If they work, I promise I'll make sure you—' A voice called from outside, and something cold crawled down Tally's spine. The voice had an edge, like razors in her ears. They weren't wardens outside. This was a Special Circumstance.
In the gloom of the shack, the pills stared up at her like two soulless white eyes. Tally was somehow certain that the words in the letter were her own, begging her to take them. Maybe when she did, everything would be clear and bubbly all the time, like Zane said.
Or maybe they wouldn't work, and would leave her a hollow, brain-dead shell.
Or maybe it was David who was dead. Tally wondered if after today part of her would always remember his face, no matter what she did. And unless she took the pills, she would never know the truth.
Tally started to bring them to her mouth, but found she couldn't. She imagined her brain unraveling. Being erased, like that other Tally who had written the letter. She looked into Zane's pleading, beautiful eyes. He had no doubts, at least.
Maybe she didn't have to do this alone…
The door made a sharp screech as someone tried to pull it open, snapping the chain taut. A blow landed on the door, the sound booming like fireworks in the little metal shack. Specials were strong, but could they beat down a metal door?
'Now, Tally,' Zane whispered.
'I can't.'
'Then give them to me.'
She shook her head and leaned closer, whispering to stay unheard under the thundering blows against the