“Hey are you two professional porn stars? How come the moaning and screaming were so boring? Move over Darcy, let me demonstrate!” Denny said.

His words prompted Darcy and Elizabeth to moan and scream loudly, exhibiting more passion as the fake thrusting actions began to excite them both. Luckily for them, only a few minutes passed before Denny called “Cut!”, signaling the finish of the role-play.

***

Watching, Darcy and Elizabeth recalled how, at the end of the filming, they had breathed a sigh of relief, collected their normal clothes, uttered a hurried goodbye and scrambled out of the suite.

When they reached Darcy’s room, he slammed the door shut and said, “Repliez sur la table.”

Elizabeth eyes widened, “You want to continue the roleplay?”

“Bend over the table, wench, or you will be up for punishment. Do as I say!”

Non, monsieur,” Elizabeth winked and protested. Darcy turned her around and bent her over.

Ouvrez vos pattes!”

Non, monsieur!” She was determined to defy his order.

Darcy smacked her bottom and said, “Open your legs, wench!”

“Ouch! That hurts!” Elizabeth continued to protest, still refusing to obey.

“Then you will be punished for the entire night for disobeying your master. ”

He used his knee to nudge her legs apart. His hands squeezed and cupped her breasts through the corset. He then freed his arousal, pushed her lace panties aside and thrust into her hot, wet womanhood from behind. Their coupling was intense and loud. And again they forgot protection.

They didn’t come out for dinner that night. The French maid costume and feather duster proved very useful. Darcy said a few times “Votre chatte est brulante”, or your pussy is hot in French, throughout the night. He liked to drink her hot chocolate, and he dusted her down with the feather duster even more thoroughly…

***

Darcy and Elizabeth were roused from their reverie about the steamy night they’d spent by admiring whistles from the audience in the studio. It seemed the clip of their role-play had ended and the audience had liked it quite well.

***

So, who won the Challenge and two days of relaxation on another deserted island?

Richard and Charlotte. They earned many points from the judges, who thought the water-gun shooting sequence was hilarious.

And who lost?

Surprisingly, not Collins and Caroline. It was Charles and Jane. It seemed that their role-play was neither hot enough nor funny enough, as compared to others. They were treated to the final torture of a painful full-body waxing (with their swimming costumes on).

But what happened to our favourite couples?

Georgiana made her way back into Darcy’s good books by arranging for Elizabeth and him to go off to Fiji without Collins and Caroline.

From there, they traveled back to Boobie Hill, where Darcy stayed on his ‘parole’ for a week. Then after three months of long distance romance, Elizabeth moved to Sydney. She rented a small apartment and worked in a travel agent. Their romance continued.

Darcy finally managed to persuade her to move in with him, five months later. Then six more months passed before she said yes to his marriage proposal. The High and Mighty Darcy Junior didn’t make an appearance for yet another year, But the happy couple then had three more children. Not surprisingly, the nerdy scientist was extremely diligent in his research, planning and implementing an endless array of sexy games and role-plays to spice up their matrimonial love lives.

Bingley and Jane flew to Sydney after Fiji, where she

stayed there for three months before tying the knot. They had two children together.

Richard and Charlotte carried on a hot affair for about three months before they drifted apart.

As for Collins and Caroline, they eventually each found other targets to stalk, after four years.

Why so long?

It’s because Sexpert Challenge was a huge success for Lady C Productions. The show remained the top-rated program for Channel 12 over seven seasons. The saucy format and the successful romances of Bingley and Jane, as well as Darcy and Elizabeth, all contributed to the success of the show.

As for Collins and Caroline, they both gave up their old jobs and became an ‘odd couple’ who were invited to many comedy shows and events. They were so busy with their appointments that they didn’t have time to stalk.

One thing that continued to make Elizabeth and Darcy uncomfortable, however, was that every time they encountered Caroline, she would hint that Darcy had strange tastes in women, at which point she would attempt to console Elizabeth privately.

And what about our famous TV-industry couple? Lady C was very satisfied with Wickham’s performance, both on- and off-screen. She kept him with her for many years. But as she grew older, she became increasingly interested in S&M. Wickham tried to leave her several times, but his spending habits and sexual proclivities had become so dependent on her that he had to return, each time, after a few months of straying. In the end, he became the most infamous ‘boy toy’ in the industry.

Charmers In The Wallet

What if Mr. Darcy was a foul-mouthed chef?

“Jane, I want you to raise your bloody voice and give Lydia the shit! She’s late and she’s lazy. She cooks the crappiest oysters I have ever eaten. She skips out of the kitchen and flirts with all the male diners. Longbourn Restaurant will not survive another six weeks if you don’t begin acting like a boss,” Charles Bingley yelled at the top of his voice.

His furious expression made Jane Bennet burst into tears. She pulled open the back door and ran out of the kitchen.

He hurried after her. “Sorry, sweetie!” he called from the doorway. “I didn’t mean it. It’s only written in the script. You know Darce. He’s the opinionated one here. Jane, wait!” Charles took off his microphone and chased after her.

“Follow them!” Darcy yelled at the camera crew, the muttered, “Great!” sarcastically to himself and stormed off to the walk-in pantry to cool off, “Now we’ve lost the cast. I don’t want to be stuck here! I’ll die of frustration.” He sat down on a barrel of olive oil and dropped his head into his hands. He loved food and he loved the walk-in pantry. As a boy, he had often hidden in the pantry at Pemberley when he was chased by his cousin Richard.

Celebrity chef Charles Bingley was the face of “Heat Up the Kitchen Table,” but he was not the foul mouth personality he portrayed in front of the camera, a larger-than-life character who helped restaurant owners around the world to rescue their businesses. In reality, he was the forever cheerful man who was renowned for indecision.

The format and success of the show were due more to its quiet and insightful producer, William Darcy. Darcy was a successful businessman and media mogul with an arrogant and perfectionist attitude. He had scripted many of the initial controversial confrontations on camera which had served to launch Charles and the show into fame and win the hearts of struggling restaurant owners.

The crew of the popular television show was filming in Meryton, trying to rescue a family restaurant, Longbourn. It had quickly become apparent that head chef Jane Bennet was a doormat who let her sous-chef and

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