scratch----'
'But I can't talk, confound it!' he burst out. 'And how is a man to get
anywhere at this sort of game without talking?'
'You are talking perfectly fluently now.'
'Yes, to you. But put me in front of Celia Tennant, and I simply make a
sort of gurgling noise like a sheep with the botts. It kills my chances
stone dead. You know these other men. I can give Claude Mainwaring a
third and beat him. I can give Eustace Brinkley a stroke a hole and
simply trample on his corpse. But when it comes to talking to a girl,
I'm not in their class.'
'You must not be diffident.'
'But I am diffident. What's the good of saying I mustn't be
diffident when I'm the man who wrote the words and music, when
Diffidence is my middle name and my telegraphic address? I can't help
being diffident.'
'Surely you could overcome it?'
'But how? It was in the hope that you might be able to suggest
something that I came round tonight.'
And this was where I did the fatal thing. It happened that, just before
I took up 'Braid on the Push-Shot,' I had been dipping into the current
number of a magazine, and one of the advertisements, I chanced to
remember, might have been framed with a special eye to George's
unfortunate case. It was that one, which I have no doubt you have seen,
which treats of 'How to Become a Convincing Talker'. I picked up this
magazine now and handed it to George.
He studied it for a few minutes in thoughtful silence. He looked at the
picture of the Man who had taken the course being fawned upon by lovely
women, while the man who had let this opportunity slip stood outside
the group gazing with a wistful envy.
'They never do that to me,' said George.
'Do what, my boy?'
'Cluster round, clinging cooingly.'
'I gather from the letterpress that they will if you write for the
booklet.'
'You think there is really something in it?'
'I see no reason why eloquence should not be taught by mail. One seems
to be able to acquire every other desirable quality in that manner
nowadays.'
'I might try it. After all, it's not expensive. There's no doubt about
it,' he murmured, returning to his perusal, 'that fellow does look
popular. Of course, the evening dress may have something to do with
it.'
'Not at all. The other man, you will notice, is also wearing evening
dress, and yet he is merely among those on the outskirts. It is simply
a question of writing for the booklet.'
'Sent post free.'
'Sent, as you say, post free.'
'I've a good mind to try it.'
'I see no reason why you should not.'
'I will, by Duncan!' He tore the page out of the magazine and put it in
