didn’t want Brad to call. I wanted to stay right where I was. Finish the project. Finish college. Start appreciating life just the way it was, however messed up. Start being grateful for those who cared about me and wanted me in their lives. Denton, Portia, Celia, Maize-there was a whole list of them.
But even as I named off those closest to me here in Del Gloria, I couldn’t shut out the faces of those I’d left behind in Port Silvan. My grandfather and Great-Grandmother Olivia, my cousins Joel and Gerard, Melissa Belmont and her kids. Even Samantha, Brad’s sister. And-my heart did a flip-flop before resuming its natural rhythm-Brad. Especially Brad. Tears crept from my eyes as I tried to block his face from my mind. But there it stayed, etched forever in my memory. Today, instead of the jovial Brad with his crinkly eyes, his face seemed sad. I imagined myself holding his head in my arms, as if to say goodbye. He opened his lips to whisper something to me…
The world flashed white. I sat up, stricken. What had I just seen? Was it memory or imagination?
Brad’s face burned itself to the back of my lids. Even with my eyes open, no matter where I looked, his face was just a blink away. His eyes followed mine, as if to accuse me.
Why did he look at me like that? He sent me away. I should be angry with him, not the other way around.
I raced out of the bedroom, seeking a distraction. Anything to get away from the guilt that washed over me at the thought of Brad.
Downstairs, Denton sat in the parlor, alone. A single lamp lit the room, the daylight long gone. I tiptoed to a chair beside him. He glanced up, acknowledging my arrival, then stared at the floor again.
“You okay?” I asked, shaken that the Unshakeable Professor Braddock might actually have felt a speed bump on his smooth road.
He gave a deep sigh. “It’s so hard when you can look at someone else’s life and know exactly what they should do. Then they don’t do it. And they wind up dead.”
I nodded in agreement. “But it’s not your fault. Jane was going to do what Jane was going to do.”
His eyes blazed into mine. “I was thinking of you, Patricia.”
So I was Patricia tonight. Not the obedient Alisha. “I don’t get it. What exactly should I be doing that I’m not already?”
“Put the past behind you. Stay here with me.”
“I’ve been doing that. I did that.”
He glanced at my hands in my lap. “Look at your fingers. They want to go. They want to run. Don’t let them. Make them stay.”
I stilled my fidgeting. “I saw something tonight. A memory, I think. Of Brad.”
He stared without saying anything.
“I was holding Brad’s head in my arms. He looked so sad. He was whispering something to me. And then-” I closed my eyes in concentration. “That’s all I can remember.” “How did seeing his face make you feel?”
“Guilty. Like I’d left him.” I gave a sigh of exasperation. “But he’s the one who wanted me to come here.”
Denton nodded. “You did the right thing coming here. Now carry it through.”
“I used to be so angry with Brad for sending me away. Now I feel guilty because I left him. What changed? Why do I feel differently today?”
Denton’s palms turned up as he explained. “Whether you realize it or not, Jane’s death has had a profound effect on your mental state. It’s bound to bring up memories of another episode.”
My throat constricted. “What do you mean, another episode?” My voice was barely a whisper.
He shook his head, almost in annoyance. “Remember for yourself. It’s not my place to tell you things your mind isn’t ready to handle.”
“Tell me. I can handle it.”
“No. Don’t ask me again.”
I raised my arms in frustration. “I hope torturing your patients isn’t something they taught in your doctoral program.”
“You’re not my patient. You’re my niece.”
“I’m not your niece. I’m nothing to you. I’m a boarder, a housemate, an acquaintance. That’s all.”
He breathed out, staring at the floor. “You’ve become so much more to me these past months. So much more.” I panicked at the sincerity in his voice. What did he mean? More like a real niece? More like a daughter? More like… what?
I stood. “Where’s Ms. Rigg?”
“Resting.” He got to his feet. “I hope you’ll be willing to help with her duties until she’s able to work again.” “Of course.” I gave a nod. “I’m calling it a night.”
“Sleep well, Patricia.” His voice haunted me as I dashed up the staircase.
18
I paced my room the next morning. Denton had asked me to help with Ms. Rigg’s duties. But that meant I’d have to face him again. My feet tapped a rhythm across the wood floor, onto the plush rug, then again on the wood floor as I mulled the matter.
Something had changed between Denton and me. Lately, he’d seemed somewhat possessive. I felt the bite of an invisible chain around my ankle. He wanted me to stay. He insisted I stay. And somehow that made me want to go. Made me want to find the truth behind the questions he refused to answer.
Only two more weeks left in the semester. Then a few weeks off before the next semester began. What could it hurt to take a quick trip back to Michigan and just see for myself what was going on? Then I’d zip back in time to start the next round of classes.
I met up with Denton in the kitchen as he fumbled to make a pot of coffee.
“Let me help,” I offered and poured water into the brewer. With a glance in his direction, I seized the opportunity to chat openly. “I’ve been thinking about going home. For a short visit.” I set the carafe on the burner and pressed the power button. “Just a week or so to see how everyone is doing.” I swallowed hard at the thought of Brad.
Denton pounded a fist on the counter. “Are you out of your mind?”
Water dribbled into the decanter, its gurgling filling the momentary silence between us.
“Why do you think I paid Jane to keep quiet? One word of your whereabouts and you might have been the one at the bottom of the cliff.”
“But Frank Majestic must be behind bars by now.” Majestic was the drug pin I’d accidentally crossed when I helped my friend Candice LeJeune try to make a clean break from her past. Unfortunately, I’d been somewhat responsible for the death of one of Majestic’s leading distributors, who also happened to be his son-in-law, and ended up hiding his daughter and grandkids at my log home in the woods. Needless to say, the man didn’t like me much.
“Even if they’d caught him, metal bars don’t stop men like him.” Denton’s eyes blazed red.
“So how long does a contract last? It’s been almost six months. They must have forgotten about me by now.”
“Until you’re dead, Patricia.”
My skin crawled. I glanced around the kitchen for eavesdroppers. “No offense, but when you call me Patricia, I feel uncomfortable. Could you just stick to calling me Alisha, even in private?”
“Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the threat to your life.”
“Define life. If it means hiding out ’til I’m ninety years old and pretending to be someone I’m not, then I’m not impressed. Life and freedom should go hand in hand. This is America.”
“Perhaps you’d think otherwise if life meant a bullet lodged in your spine and paralysis from the neck down.”
I weighed the option. “I suppose there are worse things than death.”
“If you take my advice, you’ll never have to find that out for yourself.”
I put my fingers to my temples and took a deep breath. “You’re right.” Another breath. “It’s not so bad here. I’ve actually got it pretty good.” I looked at Denton’s strong chin and determined brown eyes.
He smiled, victorious, eyes crinkling in the corners, kind of like Brad’s.
