'Don't let it inhibit you. I'm not trying to make you self-conscious. Just cautious. And remember that my Sisterhood has efficient methods of healing.'
'I'll be cautious.'
'You might remember it was the Bashar who said: 'The ferocity we display to our foes is always tempered by the lesson we hope to teach.' '
'I can't think of him as a foe. The Bashar was one of the finest men I've ever known.'
'Excellent. I place him in your hands.'
And here the child was on the practice floor getting more than a little impatient with his teacher's hesitations.
'Sir, is this part of a lesson, just standing here? I know sometimes -'
'Be still.'
Teg came to military attention. No one had taught him that. This was from his original memories. Idaho was suddenly fascinated by this glimpse of the Bashar.
They knew he would catch me this way!
Never underestimate Bene Gesserit persuasiveness. You could find yourself doing things for them without knowing pressures had been applied. Subtle and damnable! There were compensations, of course. You lived in interesting times, as the ancient curse had it. All in all, Idaho decided, he preferred interesting times, even these times.
He took a deep breath. 'Restoring your original memories will cause pain - physical and mental. In some ways, the mental pains are worse. I am to prepare you for that.'
Still at attention. No comment.
'We will begin without weapons, using an imaginary blade in your right hand. This is a variation on the 'five attitudes.' Each response arises before the need. Drop your arms to your sides and relax.'
Moving behind Teg, Idaho grasped the child's right arm below the elbow and demonstrated the first movements.
'Each attacker is a feather floating on an infinite path. As the feather approaches, it is diverted and removed. Your response is like a puff of air blowing the feather away.'
Idaho stepped aside and observed as Teg repeated the movements, correcting occasionally with a sharp blow to an offending muscle.
'Let your body do the learning!' When Teg asked why he did that.
In a rest period, Teg wanted to know what Idaho meant by 'mental pains.'
'You have ghola-imposed walls around your original memories. At the proper moment, some of those memories will come flooding back. Not all memories will be pleasant.'
'Mother Superior says the Bashar restored your memories.'
'Gods of the deep, child! Why do you keep saying 'the Bashar'? That was you!'
'But I don't know that yet.'
'You present a special problem. For a ghola to reawaken, there should be memory of death. But the cells for you do not carry death memory.'
'But the... Bashar is dead.'
'The Bashar! Yes, he's dead. You must feel that where it hurts most and know that you are the Bashar.'
'Can you really give me back that memory?'
'If you can stand the pain. Do you know what I said to you when you restored my memories? I said: 'Atreides! You're all so damned alike!' '
'You hated... me?'
'Yes, and you were disgusted with yourself for what you did to me. Does that give you any idea of what I must do?'
'Yes, sir.' Very low.
'Mother Superior says I must not betray your trust... yet you betrayed my trust.'
'But I restored your memories?'
'See how easy it is to think of yourself as Bashar? You were shocked. And yes, you restored my memories.'
'That's all I want.'
'So you say.'
'Mother... Superior says you're a Mentat. Will that help... that I was a Mentat, too?'
'Logic says 'Yes.' But we Mentats have a saying, that logic moves blindly. And we're aware there's a logic that kicks you out of the nest into chaos.'
'I know what chaos means!' Very proud of himself.
'So you think.'
'And I trust you!'
'Listen to me! We are servants of the Bene Gesserit. Reverend Mothers did not build their order on trust.'
'Shouldn't I trust Mother... Superior?'
'Within limits you will learn and appreciate. For now, I warn you the Bene Gesserit work under a system of organized distrust. Have they taught you about democracy?'
'Yes, sir. That's where you vote for -'
'That's where you distrust anyone with power over you! The Sisters know it well. Don't trust too much.'
'Then I should not trust you, either?'
'The only trust you can place in me is that I will do my best to restore your original memories.'
'Then I don't care how much it hurts.' He looked up at the comeyes, knowledge of their purpose in his expression. 'Do they mind that you say these things about them?'
'Their feelings don't concern a Mentat except as data.'
'Does that mean fact?'
'Facts are fragile. A Mentat can get tangled in them. Too much reliable data. It's like diplomacy. You need a few good lies to get at your projections.'
'I'm... confused.' He used the word hesitantly, not sure it was what he meant.
'I said that once to Mother Superior. She said: 'I've been behaving badly.' '
'You're not supposed to... confuse me?'
'Unless it teaches.' And when Teg still looked puzzled, Idaho said: 'Let me tell you a story. '
Teg immediately sat on the floor, an action revealing that Odrade often used the same technique. Good. Teg already was receptive.
'In one of my lives I had a dog that hated clams,' Idaho said.
'I've had clams. They come from the Great Sea.'
'Yes, well, my dog hated clams because one of them had the temerity to spit in his eye. That stings. But even worse, it was an innocent hole in the sand that did the spitting. No clam visible.'
'What'd your dog do?' Leaning forward, chin on fist.
'He dug up the offender and brought it to me.' Idaho grinned. 'Lesson one: Don't let the unknown spit in your eye.'
Teg laughed and clapped his hands.
'But look at it from the dog's viewpoint. Go after the spitter! Then - glorious reward: Master is pleased.'
'Did your dog dig more clams?'
'Every time we went to the beach. He went growling after spitters and Master took them away never to be seen again except as empty shells with bits of meat still clinging to the insides.'
'You ate them.'
'See it as the dog did. Spitters get their just punishment. He has a way to rid his world of offensive things and Master is pleased with him.'
Teg demonstrated his brightness. 'Do the Sisters think of us as dogs?'
'In a way. Never forget it. When you get back to your rooms, look up 'lese majeste.' It helps place our relationship to our Masters.'
Teg looked up at the comeyes and back to Idaho but said nothing.
Idaho lifted his attention to the door behind Teg and said: 'That story was for you, too.'
