“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“What’s wrong with you?” Molly exploded. “Why don’t you want me?”
“Please try to accept what I’m saying.”
“Are you saying no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, you’ll never feel that way about me?”
“I’m saying you’re behaving like a child because that is what you are.”
“So it’s because you think I’m too young,” Molly said desperately. “I can wait. I can wait until you feel ready. I’ll do whatever you need.”
“Stop,” Gabriel said. “This discussion is over. I cannot give you the answer you want to hear.”
“Tell me why.” Molly’s hysteria was rising. “Tell me what’s wrong with me that you won’t even consider me!”
“You should leave now,” Gabriel’s voice had gone flat. He was no longer trying to console her.
“No!” Molly shouted. “Tell me what I did!”
“It’s not what you did.” Gabriel’s tone became harsher. “It’s what you are.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Molly choked out.
“You are human.” My brother’s eyes flashed. “It’s in your nature to be lustful, greedy, envious, deceitful, and proud. All your life you will fight against those instincts. My Father gave you free will, He chose you to rule His earth and look what you have done with it. This world is in ruins and I am here only to restore His glory — I have no other purpose and no other interest. Do you think I am so weak as to be seduced by a doe-eyed human who is barely more than a child? I am different from you in every possible way. I can only try to understand your ways and never, not in a thousand years, will you come close to understanding mine. So that is why, Molly, your efforts here are useless.”
Gabriel watched impassively as tears began to flow, mingling with Molly’s mascara and smudging her cheeks. She wiped them away furiously with the backs of her hands.
“I …” Her hiccups caused her to stutter. “I hate you.”
She looked so vulnerable then I wished I could have done something to show her she wasn’t alone. If I’d been there, I would have also liked to kick my brother in the shins for his lack of sensitivity.
“For your sake,” Gabriel said distantly, “perhaps hate is better than love.”
“It doesn’t matter to you, either way,” Molly sobbed. “
“That is not true,” Gabriel said. “If your life is being threatened, that is my concern. If you are in danger, if anyone is ever harming you, you may depend on me to protect you. But in matters of the heart, I cannot help you.”
“You could at least try. You could challenge your so-called
She was so passionate in her conviction that I almost hoped Gabriel’s heart would melt. But he only lowered his eyes as if he had committed a grievous sin.
“For your information God wants people to be happy,” Molly went on defiantly. I had the sense that she was trying to build a case like she’d seen in school debates. “Go forth and multiply, right? I remember that much from Sunday School.”
“Those directions were given to man,” Gabriel said very quietly.
“So you don’t get to be happy? You can’t want a life?”
“It’s not question of wanting. It’s more a question of design,” Gabriel said, and Molly looked defeated. “You need someone to love you the way you deserve. I promise to watch over you every day of your life.” His voice was tender. “I’ll make sure you’re always safe.”
“No!” Molly was yelling like a spoiled child now. “That’s not what I want.” She shook her head vehemently, causing some of her copper curls to come loose and fall across her pale face. Molly was too caught up in her whirlwind of emotions to notice, but Gabriel’s expression seemed to shift as he watched her. On his face, I read a compulsive desire to reach out to her — this strange, tumultuous creature that he did not understand. His hand twitched and he slowly lifted it, like he might be about to brush away her tears.
Then Ivy stepped into the room wearing a bathrobe. She looked surprised by the commotion and Gabriel quickly dropped his hand, his face returning to its usual impassive mask. A moment later Molly bolted from the room, silent tears still streaming down her face.
Ivy shot him a sympathetic look. “I wondered how long it’d be before that conversation happened.”
“You knew? Why didn’t you say something? It might have helped me handle it better.”
“I doubt that,” said Ivy with quiet insight. If there was anyone who could hope to understand Gabriel it was her. While he remained complex and unreadable to people and angels alike, Ivy had always had the uncanny ability to read his thoughts.
“What should I do now?” It was rare for Gabriel to seek counsel on any matter, but the nature of teenage love was a complete mystery to him.
“Nothing,” Ivy replied. “These things happen. She’ll get over it.”
“I hope so,” my brother replied in a voice that made me wonder if it was only Molly he was thinking about.
Ivy lay down and turned out the light. Gabriel sat on the edge of his bed, chin cupped in his hand, staring into the darkness. He sat there, unmoving, long after Ivy had fallen asleep.
28
Misery Loves Company
RETURNING to the constraints of my physical body came as a rude shock to me. Being with my family and feeling like part of their lives again had made me forget my current predicament. Now I was back in my cramped cell in the reeking chambers of Hades, where the space was so tight I couldn’t stand up. As if to add to my woes, the air around me was filled with the acrid stench of sulfur and continuous lamentations for help. I had no idea how long I’d been projecting, but I knew it must have been a while because all my joints were stiff and my muscles ached when I moved.
Someone had thrust some dry crusts and a tin cup of water into my cell. I sat in my nightgown, so besmirched by muck that its original color was almost undetectable. I tried to slow my breathing to fend off the escalating panic in my chest. I huddled in the corner with my head tucked up against my shoulder. Several times a shadowy warden walked past to further torment the captive souls. He was identifiable only by the fiery embers of his eyes and the metal prongs he rattled along the bars. For some reason he didn’t stop at my cell. Once I was sure he’d gone I pushed myself over to the tin cup and took a long gulp of water. It had an unpleasant metallic taste. My whole body was sore, but the sharpest pain was coming from behind my shoulder blades. Now that I couldn’t even stretch anymore, my wings ached worse than ever. I thought if I didn’t release them soon I would go insane.
To distract myself I thought about Molly and Gabriel. My heart went out to them both. Whatever strange connection existed between them had no hope of developing. Molly didn’t fully grasp the concept of divine love. This was love in its purest form, unaltered by human interpretation and encompassing all living creatures. It was a celebration of creation. Although he might be confused by the intensity of Molly’s emotions, I knew Gabriel would be fine. He would not deviate from his purpose. He wouldn’t even need to think about it. Molly on the other hand would suffer badly from the perceived rejection. I hoped Xavier would help her through it. He’d grown up in a household full of sisters — he’d know what to say.
I knew Jake would show up eventually and sure enough, his silhouette appeared a moment later, hovering in the darkness. His face emerged from behind the bars lit by the long torch he carried. I could smell his spicy cologne and I noticed that his presence no longer had the usual alarming effect on me. In fact, it was the first time I was actually relieved to see him.
I inched forward, scraping my skin on the concrete floor of the tiny enclosure. I would have liked to send him away, but I couldn’t. I would have liked to express my anger, but I wasn’t strong enough. We both knew I needed his help if I didn’t want to perish in this hole in the wall, buried alive until my body wasted away and my spirit was crushed.
