school motto: LIVE. LOVE. LEARN.
Bryce Hamilton loved pomp and pageantry. Inside the auditorium invited guests and parents were taking their seats and fanning themselves with folded copies of the program. Ivy was sitting beside Dolly Henderson from next door, feigning interest in the neighborhood gossip. Waiting in the wings was Dr. Chester and the teaching staff in full academic regalia, the color of their hoods denoting their individual branch of expertise. The principal would give the opening address, and then as class president, Xavier would deliver the valedictory speech. He hadn’t had much time to prepare, but Xavier was a natural orator and I knew he’d be able to deliver an inspirational speech with just a few scribbled notes to guide him. From outside I spotted Bernie in the audience, trying to keep her youngest from clambering over each other and telling Nicola off for playing Peggle on her iPhone.
After the ceremony high tea would be served in the cafeteria, which had been transformed with white tablecloths and flower arrangements to befit the occasion. A professional photographer was already clicking away behind his camera lens, and I watched Abby and the girls apply fresh coats of lip gloss and make sure their caps were straight. I was looking forward to the part where we’d all throw our caps into the air — I’d seen the scene in several movies and wanted to experience it firsthand. Ivy had taped my name to the inside of mine so I’d be able to find it easily afterward.
The whole school was buzzing with a strange energy. But amid the excitement was an underlying wistfulness. Molly and her friends would never sit out in the quad again; this position would be passed on to the next group of seniors who could never be quite the same. The days of skipping class, cramming for exams, and flirting with boys at the lockers in between periods were over. School had united us; we were expected to pursue our own lives now, and chances were, we’d never all be in the same place again.
I wanted the ceremony to hurry up and start. I was so caught up in the excitement I almost forgot I was a mere onlooker in all of this. I felt entirely human, like I should be worrying about college applications and my future career prospects. I had to remind myself that this life was not meant for me. The best I could do was share in the experience through Xavier and my friends.
Molly appeared by my side and threw her arms around me.
“My God, it’s so sad!” she cried. “I’ve spent the last four years complaining about this place and now I don’t want to leave.”
“Oh, Molly, you’ll be okay,” I said, tucking a wayward corkscrew curl behind her ear. “It’s ages till college.”
“But I’ve spent thirteen years of my life at this school,” Molly said. “It’s weird to think I’m never coming back. I know everybody in this town; it’s my home.”
“And it always will be,” I said. “College is going be an amazing adventure, but Venus Cove will still be here when you come back.”
“But I’ll be so far away!” she wailed.
“Molly.” I laughed and hugged her. “You’re going to ’Bama — it’s one state away!”
She giggled and sniffed. “I guess so, thanks, Bethie.”
I felt a hand wrap around my waist and then Xavier’s lips were at my ear.
“Can I talk to you?” he murmured. I turned and looked up at him. The blue of the graduation gown emphasized the color of his eyes and his silky walnut hair wasn’t even mussed by the cap.
“Sure, what’s up?” I asked. “Are you nervous?”
“No,” Xavier said.
“Is your speech ready? I haven’t heard any of it!”
“We’re not staying.” Xavier delivered this earth-shattering statement with surprising equilibrium.
“Excuse me?” I said. “Why not?”
“Because it doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I’ve never been more serious in my life.”
I still didn’t believe him. “I think today is turning everybody weird,” I said. “Don’t you want to graduate?”
“I’ll graduate whether I attend the ceremony or not.”
I saw then that his eyes were bright and his smile made his whole face radiant. He was actually serious about leaving.
“You’re giving the valedictory speech!”
“It’s taken care of. Wes is stepping in for me. Wasn’t cheap though.”
I stared at him. How could he make jokes when he was about to walk out on one of the most momentous events of his life? Everybody expected him to lead the ceremony — it wouldn’t be the same without him.
“Your parents will never forgive you,” I said. “Why don’t you want to stay? Aren’t you feeling well?”
“I feel fine, Beth.”
“Then why?”
“Because there’s something much more important I want to do.”
“What could be more important than you graduating?”
“Come with me and you’ll find out.”
“Not until you tell me where we’re going.”
“Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course I do.” I nodded ardently. “But I’ve never seen you do anything this … you know … reckless.”
“Funny, I don’t feel reckless,” he said. “I’ve never felt more in control.”
Bryce’s marching band started up the procession and the students began filing into the auditorium to take their places on the stage. A teacher on duty was counting them in by tens. I could see Molly searching for me in the crowd as we’d planned to sit together. The school captains always filed in last because their seats were in the front row. I looked over at Gabriel. He was escorting his choir backstage, but he must have sensed something was up because he threw me a questioning look over his shoulder. I smiled and gave him a feeble wave in return, hoping I gave off the signal that everything was under control. Xavier was looking at me expectantly.
“Come and sit with me under the old oak for five minutes and I’ll explain everything. If you don’t like the plan we’ll come back and go in together. Agreed?”
“Five minutes?” I reiterated.
“That’s all I’m asking.”
I stood under the dappled light of the old oak tree in the middle of the school’s sweeping circular driveway knowing this would be our last tryst here together. A wave of nostalgia hit me. The oak had been a reliable friend to us during our time at Bryce Hamilton, its gnarled branches providing refuge and serving as our secret meeting place whenever our desire to be together overcame any sense of responsibility. I wrapped my arms playfully around its wide trunk while Xavier continued to look as though he’d just made the discovery of the century.
“Okay,” I said. “Your time starts now. What’s this great idea that warrants skipping out on graduation?”
Xavier took off his cap and gown and flung them onto the grass beside us. Underneath he was wearing a white shirt and tie over dress pants. Seeing his athletic chest under the flimsy cotton stirred in me the usual deep, visceral yearning.
Xavier was gazing at me dreamily. He bent his head and kissed my hand. “I’ve been thinking about us.”
“Good thinking or bad?” I asked immediately, the yearning giving way to fear.
“Good, of course.”
I was able to breathe easily again. “So let’s hear it.”
“I think I’ve found the answer.”
“That’s great,” I said lightly. “What’s the question?”
But Xavier was deadly serious. “The question is how do we make sure no one comes between us again.”
“Xavier, what are you talking about? You need to relax. We’re together now. I’m back. Jake won’t bother us again anytime soon.”
“If it’s not Jake it’ll be someone or something else. It’s no way to live, Beth. Always looking over our shoulders, wondering how much time we’ve got left.”
“So let’s not do that. Let’s just focus on what we’ve got right here and now.”
“I can’t. I want this to be forever.”
