The Girl Who Chased the Moon

Julia tore her eyes off Sawyer. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Em,” she said, and actually put a hand on her shoulder, trying to keep her there.

“Why not?” Emily asked.

“Yes, Julia,” Sawyer said, smiling. “Why not?

“Because I told your grandfather I’d keep an eye on you.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“But…”

“Julia,” Emily said reasonably, “I’m seventeen, not four.”

Julia knew she wasn’t going to win this one. “Meet me by the bandstand in one hour. One hour.”

Emily kissed Julia’s cheek. It was an unexpected gesture from her, a sweet, daughterly thing to do. “Thanks.”

“One hour,” Julia called after her as she watched the crowd swallow Emily. She had an overwhelming urge to drag her back, to protect her from everything that had hurt her so much as a teenager.

She finally turned back to Sawyer, who had his brows raised.

“She’s been looking for an excuse to get away from me. Win Coffey has been eyeing her all afternoon. And I’ve seen her watching him.”

“It was inevitable,” Sawyer said. “Those two were going to have magnets attached to each other no matter what. The lure of the forbidden.”

“I don’t want her to get hurt. She’s been through so much already.”

“You really care about her, don’t you? Nothing has happened yet. And Win is a pretty good kid. But if he does hurt her, he’ll have me to contend with. Now,” he said, leaning in slightly, putting his face close to hers, “let’s talk about last Tuesday.”

“I have a better idea,” she said. “Let’s go in the fun house, instead.”

Sawyer looked confused. She couldn’t blame him. “That’s a better idea?”

“It’s the fun house. Who doesn’t love the fun house?” she said as she walked over to the small structure. It sounded ridiculous, even to her. But talking about last Tuesday was too far ahead of her plans. He wanted her. She’d known that since she came back. But there was the little matter of telling him about their daughter first. That was going to change every-thing.

Sawyer followed her and bought their tickets. When they entered, the undulating floor threw her off balance and she fell back against him. He took her hand and pulled her across the room. Many kids chose to stay in that room and ride the wooden waves, so when Julia and Sawyer tripped into the hall of mirrors, they were the only ones there.

She had to hold out her hands to make her way forward. Which was the walkway and which was just reflection? Which was the real Julia? She turned quickly when Sawyer disappeared from behind her.

“Where did you go?” she called.

“I’m not sure,” he called back.

She turned and tried to follow his voice. She almost walked into a mirror, then followed the corner of that mirror to the corridor she thought he’d taken. The strobe lights didn’t help. It was like they were in a psychedelic ice cave. And the frantic music in the room sounded like a heartbeat.

“If you want me to say I’m sorry for kissing you, I will,” Sawyer said. She caught sight of him, then he disappeared again. “But I won’t mean it. I’m sorry for a lot of things, but not that.”

There! There he was again! No, he moved. “Stand still so I can find you,” she said. “I don’t want you to say you’re sorry. It’s just… I’m leaving soon. Nothing is going to change that. If you can accept that, then…”

Peals of laughter came from the next room. “Then… what?” Sawyer asked. “I can kiss you again?”

“That’s not what I meant. There’s a lot you don’t know right now.” She turned another corner, only to find herself in a dead end that looked like the mirrors in a department store dressing room. She backed out.

“It’s starting to make sense,” Sawyer said. “I even put the idea in your head, didn’t I? ‘Live a little, since you only have six months left here.’ Or was this your plan all along, wait until a few months before you left, and then have one last hurrah?”

She stopped in her tracks, stung. How had this gone so wrong so fast? She was trying to do something good. “You think I’m capable of that?”

“You’re capable of leaving for eighteen years without so much as a look back. Do you regret that at all?” His voice was moving away.

She charged forward, determined to catch up to him. “I wasn’t the one who barreled ahead without looking back. And how do you know I didn’t look back? Were you looking? No, you weren’t. And you have no idea what my regrets are, Sawyer Alexander, so don’t go there.”

“You’re right. I don’t. You never shared them with me. You wanted them all to yourself. But what you’re saying is the only way you can do this is if it’s temporary. The only way you can let me in is knowing you get to leave me at a certain time. No strings. No dealing with our complicated past.”

“Where are you?” she yelled in frustration.

“I have news for you. You can’t have temporary. As a matter of fact, you’re nowhere near where I want you to be.”

“What does that mean?”

“Stay in Mullaby, Julia, and find out.” She heard the squeak of a door opening, then closing.

“Sawyer? Sawyer!” It took a few minutes for her to make her way out. She went through the door and found herself in the rolling barrel. She ran through it, then through the air jets, but when she was finally outside again-the festival air textured like cotton candy-he was nowhere to be found.

What she’d been trying to say was she didn’t think it was a good idea to pursue a relationship in light of what she had to tell him. He might hate her after she told him. She didn’t mean she wanted a fling with him. But he thought she meant that, and seemed very eager to turn the tables. And for what? Just to have his way? Temporary, whether she meant it or not, should have been a dream come true for him. Instead, he insinuated that she couldn’t have him unless it was by his rules. Unless she stayed.

Did he honestly think that stringing her along would work?

She thought he’d give her forever once, and look how well that turned out.

She walked down the street toward the bandstand, huffing with indignation. This was good. The animosity was back. She didn’t owe him anything. She could just walk away now. Nothing more needed to be said.

Oh, God. If only she meant that.

If only he hadn’t kissed her.

If only he hadn’t told her…

Julia had barely made it out of the amusement ride area when she heard, “Julia! Jooooooooolia!”

She turned and saw Beverly walk up to her with tiny clips of her high-heeled sandals. Her husband, Bud Dale, was walking beside her, looking like a pack mule as he carried all her bags.

“Beverly,” Julia said in flat acknowledgment. Then she turned to Beverly’s husband. “I haven’t seen you in a while, Bud. How are you?”

“I’m doing real well, Julia. You’re real nice for askin’.” There was something about the way he said that. It gave Julia pause. It was something her father would say, in that same good-ol’-boy kind of way. Beverly had left Julia’s father, but then married a man just like him.

“I have a big surprise for you,” Beverly said.

“What is it?”

“I don’t have it with me now,” she said, which Julia found hard to believe, considering how many shopping bags Bud was holding for her. “But I’ll come by to see you tomorrow around lunchtime, okay? I’m so excited about it.”

“Sure.” Julia started to turn. “See you later.”

“Why do you have to act this way, Julia?” Beverly asked, putting her hands on her hips. “Why are you always so unhappy? It’s not an attractive quality. Why don’t you spruce yourself up a little? Take that awful streak out of your hair. Smile at men, show a little skin.” Beverly adjusted herself, pulling at the low V of her shirt. “Oh, I know you don’t like to show your scars, but once you’re in bed with a man, it’s not your arms he’ll be looking at, if you catch my meaning.”

“Thanks for your input. Goodbye, Bud.”