'Well, like everything else, you find you've started before you've noticed you've started. To begin with, I just got married in the ordinary way, and it was literally years before I found out that my husband was having a lot of other ladies while I was going out of my way to be an absolute model wife from that point of view. So then I just started not being a model wife on a very tiny scale and he got most frightfully cross about it. He kept saying that that wasn't the point and that wasn't the same and surely I could see that. So I said of course I could, and the next time I started I really went to town on seeing to it that he remained in blissful ignorance throughout. Which you'd have thought would have solved everything. But it didn't at all, because the other person got frightfully cross because I was still living with my husband and not hating it all that much and not not sleeping with him into the bargain. Well then just for the sake of a quiet life I had a divorce, and then before I could turn round I was back in the same position, only it was much worse this time, because everybody knew what was going on. That wasn't my fault really. What happened was that my new other person got so cross with me for not hating my new husband that he rang up and told him what I was up to. So then both of them were cross. But soon after that my new husband, old Hazell, he got drowned in an accident, and I was free again. I didn't want to get married again straight off, and there was more crossness about that. So then I must have decided I'd just had enough of all that. I must have worked it out that if I started sleeping with everybody nobody could get enough of me to start wanting to have all of me and getting cross about not. But that's only me thinking things over afterwards. At the time all I noticed was that I'd started sleeping with everybody.'
Leonard had listened to this as conscientiously as if it had been a lecture on Chinese eavesdropping techniques. He said, 'Will you let me take you out to dinner one of these evenings?'
'I never go out in the evenings.'
'Couldn't you make an exception?'
'I've just been telling you why making exceptions is the one thing I absolutely don't do anymore.'
'I know, but… I promise I wouldn't get cross.'
'That's what you all say, and then when you get cross and I remind you of your promise you say yes, but that was only a promise not to get cross about unreasonable things, it wasn't meant to cover things like this.'
After a pause, Leonard said, 'Could I take you out to lunch, then?'
'That's no better from my point of view, and I'm always in bed at lunchtime anyway. On my own, I mean.'
'Could I stay the night, I don't mean necessarily tonight, but some night?'
'No you couldn't. I hate sleeping in the same bed as anyone. Please don't ask me. Why are you so set on this sort of thing, anyway?'
'I want to talk to you, that's all.''
'We've been chatting nineteen to the dozen for the last ten min- ‘ utes.'
'But I want to get you on your own. Really on your own.'
'Ah, there you go. What do you want to talk to me about? Not all that stuff about how awfully secret what you're doing is?'
'No, I'm sorry about that, I was on the wrong… I don't know why I said that. No, it isn't that I want to discuss anything in particular, I just want to talk to a woman, because I haven't for some time.'
'Aren't you married?'
'No. I used to be. Well, technically I still am, but she went off about two years ago after we'd been married for six years. She just went off.'
'Why?'
'She didn't say. I asked her several times but she didn't say.'
'What sort of man did she go off with?'
'She didn't go off with any sort of man. She just went off.'
'Oh, well that is a bit…'
'I haven't got a girl friend at the moment either.'
'But of course you usually have one.'
'Well, fairly usually. There don't seem to be as many girls about who like talking as there were just after the war. I find it difficult to get them to open up these days. But I knew straight away that you and I could talk about anything. But we can't really now, because of that Dr. Best fellow hanging about.'
'Keep him hanging. He won't come in while you're here. He'd better not try.'
'I know, but he might knock or… Just him being in the same house puts me off.'
'He's horrible, isn't he? I've only met him for five minutes before, but I could tell he was horrible.'
'He's…' Leonard stopped and looked for a phrase that did not contain the letter R. '… undoubtedly most unpleasant. But tell me-do any of your other friends know him? Particularly officers from the camp. Have any of them mentioned him to you?'
'I don't think so, no. Why?'
'I just wondered. Well no, it's more than that. It's my job to keep an eye on the contacts people have. It wouldn't do to have blokes on secret work being indiscreet in the wrong sort of company. So…'
'Wrong sort of company. So when you went into all that song and dance about how tremendously hush-hush what you were up to was you were seeing whether I was a spy or not, is that it?'
'Well yes, roughly,' said Leonard, as Lucy started laughing. Her shoulders shook against his side. Presently he joined in, though without carrying complete conviction.
