Sunday morning it's as lonely as an empty canyon in the desert.
When I came out that morning the only other human in sight was a homeless old wino asleep on the corner by the Edgar Allan Poe plaque.
All the shops were closed, and the grill of the Isaac Mendoza Book Store was padlocked shut. Though it was not yet 8:00 A.M., the street thermometer read out 80 degrees.
The nearest delicatessen, at Battery Park City, was a fifteen-minute walk away. I paused, pondering whether to leave Kim alone. I wasn't as concerned about her alleged pursuers as I was about her waking up, thinking herself abandoned and going into another panic.
I decided to chance it, make the trek, figuring she'd taken enough Valium to keep her calm even if she did wake up. I reached the deti, bought the groceries, and, when I returned, found her curled up on my couch, wearing one of my old shirts.
'Hi, loverboy.' She certainly didn't look desperate; rather she spoke with her usual sultry confidence.
'Feeling better?'
'What happened last night?'
'You don't remember?' I carried my newly bought provisions to the kitchen. She followed, stood behind me @i,, I started to make our breakfast.
'I remember coming here.'
'That's nice. Do you remember you were scared?' She smiled mischievously.
'Scared?'
'Come off it!'
'Of course I remember. I was putting you on.'
'Don't give me that.' was.'
'You wouldn't.'
'Shouldn't,' she corrected me. I switched on the coffee maker.
'You were panicked.'
'Just an act.' She clung to my back.
'Honest, Geoffrey -an act, that's all it was.'
I turned to her.
'You're saying last night was all pretend?' She nodded. I was outraged.
'How could you do that? How could you be so cruel?'
'Had to. No, really, Geoffrey. Please hear me out.'
'I'm listening.'
'Mr. Lorenzo, my acting coach-he gave us all an assignment. Call a friend or lover late Saturday night, say you're afraid for your life.
Convince the person you're in real trouble.' She stood back from me.
'Honest! That was it.'
'I don't believe you!'
'It's true!'
'Disgusting!'
'Maybe. But wasn't I good?'
'Yeah, you were good, all right.' I looked straight at her. I wanted to believe her. I think she sensed I did, because she stared straight back to assure me she was telling me the truth.
'I'd like to have a little talk with your Mr. Lorenzo,' I said, 'about a funny little thing called ethics, and a quaint old saying, 'Don't cry wolf'!'
She flung herself into my arms.
'Oh, Geoffrey, I really can act. You forgive me, don't you? Please, Geoffreyplease forgive.' She planted kisses on my chest.
I forgave.
After breakfast she cleaned up the dishes while I went out to buy the Times. When I returned, she was dressed, in her slinky disco outfit of the night before. I found her facing the bathroom mirror, putting the final touches on her makeup.
'Don't you want to stay and read the paper?' She shook her head.
'We still have a date for brunch?'
'Two o'clock. Windows on the World.' Sounds great.' She came close, whispered in my ear 'make you happy afterwards.'
'How about now?'
'I'd love to, Geoffrey. You know me. But there're things I've got to do.' She came close to me, played her fingers on my chest. 'Sorry about last night. I know I was a bitch.'
She kissed me, then broke away. At the door she turned. She stood there a moment, as if posing for a photograph. I thought I caught a glimpse of sadness in her face, and sensed, in her hesitation, a desire to tell me something and then a change of mind.
' Kim! '
' 'Bye, Geoffrey… She flashed me a smile. And then she disappeared.
The view from Windows on the World is terrific. On a good day it takes your breath away. But like any romantic restaurant, it's a lousy place to sit alone. By 2:45 I began to feel bad.
At 3:00 I couldn't take it anymore; I left the table, went out to the lobby, found a phone booth and dialed her number at home.
The voice on the answering machine was pure Southern honey: 'Hi! This is Shadow. We're not here at the moment, but we'll be back real soon.
So, please, cher, leave your name and number and we'll get back to you
[giggle], you can bet on it!'
I left my message: 'Geoffrey for Kim. I've been sitting here an hour.
Am I being stood up?' Then I went back to the table, ordered a Bloody Mary, and stared out across the scorched flatlands of New Jersey, a hundred and seven floors below.
At 3:30 I'd had it. I summoned the waiter, ordered a club steak rare and a half bottle of wine. Then, determined to enjoy myself, I ate and drank in solitary splendor.
I was feeling pretty high when I finished. Moody, too. Outside I wandered around for a while. Though the heat was crushing, there were the usual Sunday crowds. At Battery Park I found a place on a bench, stared out at the gleaming harbor and watched the boats pass back and forth. Then I wandered over to the Vietnam War Memorial, raised my Leica and took some photographs.
I walked home through the empty financial district. I found the same wino I'd seen in the morning by the Poe plaque, shirt off now, taking in the rays. When he saw me walking toward him with my camera around my neck, he held up an imaginary camera of his own.
I took his picture. He took mine.
'Gotcha, Shutterbug!' he said.
Back in the studio, I lay down on my bed. I must have fallen asleep. At 7:00 P.m. I woke up, suddenly feeling scared.
When she didn't show at the restaurant, I had assumed it was deliberate, an act of calculated contempt. Now I realized that instead of thinking of myself, I should have been worrying about her.
Had something happened to her? An accident? Or, and the question finally emerged from the shadows, had her explanation for her panic the night before been an attempt to cover up some actual danger she had faced and now had met?
I phoned her apartment again, and this time, when I heard the message, Shadow's mellifluous delivery rang false. Appropriate perhaps for a downtown disco girl, but a little slick for a serious model. Kimberly, I knew, would never have left a message like that. Kimberly, I knew, had too much class.
No point in going up to their place-if no one was home there'd be no one there to let me in. I decided I'd have to keep calling until someone finally answered the phone.
I called again at eight, and then every hour after that until eleven o'clock, meanwhile watching a movie on TV. It was a thriller about cops investigating a pair of bizarre homicides in New York. The lead detective's girlfriend
