Keeper of the Light

where they had rested on either side of his nose. He looked miserably at Mary. “Why are you doing this?” he asked the old woman, his voice very soft. “What possible good can it do?”

Mary shrugged. “I guess that’s up to you.”

He hesitated a moment before putting his glasses on again and shifting his eyes to Alec. “I did know Annie at Boston College,” he said.

“Paul,” Olivia said, stunned.

“The truth is,” Paul said to Alec, “I knew her long before you did. We had a relationship. A very serious relationship. We were together for two years before you ever met her, before you even had a clue she existed.” There was a weird sort of pride in his voice. “She was mine long before she was yours. That blue cloisonne horse in your kitchen? I gave it to her. She loved it. She treasured it.” Paul looked at the floor for a moment, as if collecting himself, as if trying to decide what to say next. Olivia didn’t dare look at Alec, but she could hear the raw sound of his breathing.

“We talked about getting married,” Paul said. “About raising a family.” A slight smile played with the corners of his lips. “We even had names picked out for our kids, but then the summer after our sophomore year she met you and broke it off with me. The problem was, I could never get her out of my mind.” He looked pleadingly at Alec, as though surely Alec could understand. “How could anyone know Annie and just forget about her?”

Alec shook his head, almost imperceptibly. “No,” he said. “Please don’t tell me you…” His voice trailed off and Olivia rested her hand on his back. She wanted to hold him, to slip her hands over his ears so he would not hear whatever Paul had left to say.

“Paul,” she said. “Maybe that’s enough.”

He didn’t seem to hear her. “I came down here one summer, years ago.” Paul folded his arms across his chest, then unfolded them. He slipped his hands into his pants pockets, took them out again. “I got an apartment and a part in the Lost Colony play.” He was no longer looking directly at Alec. Rather, his eyes were focused on the floor of the small bedroom. “I saw Annie and realized there were feelings left—on both sides. We…a few times we met here.” He glanced up at Alec and nodded toward the bedroom.

“Annie wouldn’t…” Alec looked at Mary. “Is this true?”

Mary nodded solemnly, and for the first time Olivia realized that she was behind this confession. She had orchestrated it.

Alec glowered at Paul, but when he spoke, his voice was little more than a whisper. “Bastard,” he said.

“I think…” Paul blinked rapidly and returned his gaze to the floor. “I’ve always thought that Annie might have been pregnant when I left the Outer Banks. She was very upset, and when I interviewed her for the article in Seascape, she lied to me about Lacey’s age.” He looked up at Alec, patches of crimson on his cheeks. “I’m truly sorry, Alec, but I think Lacey may be my daughter.”

Mary made a sudden sound of annoyance. “Lacey’s no more your child than I am,” she said. “Annie got rid of your child.”

Alec’s eyes widened. “Got rid of…?” The anger was beginning to boil up in his voice. “That’s impossible. Annie would never have had an abortion.”

Mary looked at Alec, and Olivia did not miss the compassion in the old woman’s eyes. The sympathy. “She did,” she said, “and it wasn’t easy on her either. She got rid of Paul’s child and one other later on.”

Alec took a step toward Mary. “What the hell are you…”

“Alec.” Olivia closed her hands around Alec’s arm and pulled him tightly against her.

“Lacey is the child of that young man she did stained glass with,” Mary said. “Tom what’s-his-name?”

“What?” Paul exclaimed.

“Oh my God, no.” Alec closed his eyes and leaned against the door frame as though he could no longer hold himself up. He looked at Mary again. “How can you possibly know that? How can you possibly be sure?”

“Annie was sure,” Mary said. “I’d seen her upset more times than one but never like when she realized she had Tom’s baby inside her. She couldn’t have another abortion, she said, though later on she changed her tune about that. But this one was just too close to the first time. It was still too fresh in her memory. So she had the baby. She never told Tom it was his, and I think by the time the little girl— Lacey—was born she’d almost convinced herself it was yours, Alec.”

Mary narrowed her eyes at Paul. “Did you think you were the only one?” she asked. “Did you think you were something special Annie couldn’t possibly resist? Well, let me set you straight then. You were just one of many Annie brought to this bed. She had tourists in the summer, fishermen in the fall, construction workers in the spring. It wasn’t just the PTA or the Red Cross Annie couldn’t say no to. It was anyone who wanted a little part of her spirit.”

Paul looked as though he was about to get sick. He turned on his heel, and they listened to the clattering of his shoes on the stairs. Olivia still clung to Alec’s arm, but he’d turned his head away from her as he leaned against the doorjamb, his hand to his eyes.

Olivia looked at Mary. Every year suddenly showed in the old woman’s face. She looked as though she might collapse there on the landing, as though it was only the slim reed of her cane that was keeping her upright. Olivia let go of Alec and walked into the bedroom, bringing out a straight-back chair. She set it behind Mary, who lowered herself into it with a sigh. Then Mary reached out to take Alec’s hand. His eyes were rimmed with red when he looked down at her.

“Listen to me, Alec,” Mary said. “Listen good, all right? Annie had a need she just couldn’t get taken care of. It was too big for any one man to ever make a dent in, but I know for a fact you were the only one she loved. She hated herself for what she was doing, and I hated myself for the way I helped her. In the last few years, she was winning the battle, not seeing anyone, not bringing anyone over here. It was hard for her. She was fighting her own nature and it was uphill all the way. She was winning too, and proud of herself, until he came back.” Mary nodded toward the stairs where Paul had disappeared.

Olivia rested her hand on Alec’s back again. He gazed numbly at Mary, and she was not certain he could hear the old woman’s words. He was glassy-eyed; the muscles in his back were rigid beneath her hand.