Keeper of the Light

“I thought of you driving up there alone. I should have offered to go with you. Didn’t think of it till too late.”

Olivia smiled. He was so sweet. Thoughtful. And his voice was sleepy. Warm. Like the triangle of moonlight that crept across her bed, and her legs, and her hand where it rested on her belly. More than likely his room was drenched in moonlight too. It was in his eyes, perhaps. On his chest. She could see the wedge of white light playing with the softly curled hair of his chest. She had not stared at his body the other day at Rio Beach. She had barely noticed it, but right now she found she could remember it in detail.

“Olivia?”

“Yes?”

“You’re very quiet. Are you sure you’re all right?”

She lifted her hand from her stomach and watched the diamonds in her ring soak up the moonlight. “My bed just feels particularly empty tonight.”

“Oh,” he said. “Do you know how to reach Paul? Maybe you should call him.”

“Actually, you’re a lot easier to talk to than Paul these days.”

“Yeah, but I can’t do much about filling your bed.”

She cringed, and rolled onto her back again. “Where is this conversation going?” she asked.

“Shall we change the subject?”

“Actually, this subject has been on my mind a lot lately. I think it began when you told me about Paul saying he might have made a mistake. I started thinking about him—you know, about being with him—and then he takes off for D.C.”

“Maybe when he gets back.”

“Maybe. Alec? How do you…” She struggled for the right words. “How are you coping with celibacy?”

He laughed. “That’s pretty damn personal, Dr. Simon.”

“Sorry.”

Alec sighed. “Mother Nature has a way of taking care of things,” he said. “Having your spouse die seems to obliterate any libidinous urges, temporarily at any rate. At least I’m assuming it’s temporary.” He chuckled. “Actually, I’m sure it is. I guess it doesn’t work that way when you’re only separated, huh?”

“No,” she said.

“Are you still getting massages?”

“It’s not the same thing,” she said grumpily.

Alec was quiet for a moment. “What would happen if you showed up in Paul’s hotel room?”

“I don’t want to be humiliated.”

“I’m certain he still cares about you.”

Almost unknowingly, she had moved her hand to the warm delta of her pubic hair. She parted her legs a little. She could do this. She could listen to Alec’s voice and…

“Oh, God.” She sat up abruptly, tugging her nightgown to her knees.

“What’s the matter?”

“Talking about this is definitely not helping, Alec.” She propped her pillow up against the headboard and sat back, lifting the blue file folder from her night table to her lap. “Why don’t you just quiz me on the lighthouse?”

Mike Shelley walked into her office late the following afternoon.

“Do you have a minute?”

She closed the patient chart she’d been working on as he sat down on the other side of her desk. He looked a little tired, but he was smiling. He leaned back in the chair.

“I wanted to let you know I’ll be leaving the ER in September.”

“No.” She was genuinely distressed. She depended on the calm efficiency Mike brought to his job as director of the emergency room.

“I’m afraid so. My parents are in Florida, and they haven’t been well this past year. I’d like to be closer to them and I’ve been offered a job down there.” He paused. “So, obviously, that leaves my position here open. I wanted to tell you that you’re in the running, along with Jonathan and two candidates from outside.”

The ambition Olivia had tried to temper when she started working in this small, sedate ER suddenly reared its head. She smiled. “I’m honored to be considered.”

“Between you and me, Olivia, you’re my first choice. Jonathan’s clinically good, but your past experience is far more varied and you handle everything that comes through the door with a cool head. That’s critical in this job. I don’t want you to get your hopes up, though. You still have the least seniority of anyone on the staff.” He stood up and sighed. “Jonathan wants this badly,” he said, and she thought she detected a warning in his voice. “He may be a bear to work with until this is over.”

Olivia smiled. “What else is new?”

She reached for the phone the instant Mike left her office and dialed Paul’s number, but she succeeded only in reaching his answering machine. She’d forgotten he was in Washington. She listened to his voice on the tape, imagining it filling his little cottage, resonating off the colored images in Annie’s stained glass.

She didn’t bother to leave a message. Instead she called Alec and was pleased when he suggested they go out to dinner to celebrate.