“You’re awake!” she said.
“How are you feeling? Are you terribly sore?”
Grace raised herself to her elbows. “I want to see my baby,” she said.
“You can’t. Grace,” Bonnie said.
“Remember what Nancy said? It’ll just make it harder for you if you see it.”
“Not if,” Grace said.
“Her. And I’ve thought about what I said last night. What I agreed to. I don’t want her to have the baby adopted out. I was feeling crazy last night. If Nancy could find a foster home or something until I can figure out what to do, then I can take the baby.”
“Oh, Grace, you’re still not thinking clearly.” Bonnie sat down on the bed.
“You have to do what’s best for the baby. And also, what’s best for you. You haven’t even ever had a boyfriend. Grace. You haven’t even gotten to live. I’ve always thought it was crazy that you were going to tie yourself down with a baby, but I knew that was what you wanted, so I went along with it. But this is such a perfect solution.
The baby will be fine. She’ll have a better life than she would have with you—you have to admit it. And then you can get on with your own life. “
It bothered her that Bonnie could not understand. “You weren’t pregnant with this baby for eight months,” she said, starting to cry.
“You didn’t carry her around right beneath your heart. You didn’t feel her moving around inside you. You talk about the baby like she’s some… nuisance, or something. She’s my child. I may not be able to give her every single toy she sees or dress her in perfect, matching little outfits, but I’m going to give her so much love and attention that she’s never going to feel deprived of anything.”
Bonnie sighed tiredly.
“What do you want me to do?” she asked.
“Go next door and ask Nancy to bring the baby over so I can finally see her, and then I can talk to her about how I can get the baby into foster care while I’m getting on my feet.”
“All right,” her friend said, standing up.
“Remember, we have to get out of here by one. And we don’t have a thing to eat, so after I get Nancy, I’m going to go to the store and get some bread and some sanitary napkins for you. Nancy said you’d need them.” “Okay, but bring the baby over first, please?”
“Okay.”
Grace got out of bed, slowly, after Bonnie left the cottage. She cleaned herself up in the bathroom, and she was horrified to see several bloodied towels in the wastebasket. They would have to remember to get rid of them before they left. She improvised a sanitary pad for herself out of a washcloth and got dressed. She couldn’t wait to see her baby.
She walked out of the bathroom to find Bonnie in the doorway of the bedroom. Her face was white.
“They’re gone,” Bonnie said.
“Who?” Grace asked, although she was afraid she knew the answer.
“Nancy and Nathan,” Bonnie said.
“The cottage is deserted Their car and suitcases and everything are gone.”
Struck instantly by an overwhelming grief. Grace sat down on the bed.
Her mind raced.
“I don’t even know their last name. Do you?” she asked.
Bonnie shook her head.
“I don’t think they ever told us,” she said.
“Oh, God, Bonnie. My baby. They took my baby.” She began to cry, and Bonnie moved to the bed and put her arms around her.
“I know. I’m sorry. But she’ll be all right. I’m sure they left early so they could get to the hospital to make sure the baby was fine and healthy. Nancy seems like a really good nurse to me. She’s going to make sure everything’s perfect for your baby.”
“But I’ll never get to see her!”
Bonnie was crying, too.
“I shouldn’t have agreed with Nancy last night,” she said.
“I didn’t realize you’d change your mind, though. It seemed to make such good sense.”
Grace cried for a long time in Bonnie’s arms. Then, finally, she looked down at the pillow on her bed. It was inviting. She lay down, facing the wall, and pulled the covers over her head. She felt Bonnie’s hand on her back and closed her eyes.
“I’m going to the store,” Bonnie said.
“I’ll get you the pads. Is there anything else you want? Soup or anything?”
Grace didn’t bother to answer. She’d barely heard the question.
JVly God, Grace,” Eddie said. He was sitting next to her on the sofa, having moved there sometime while she was speaking.