“Because of the pilot?” Shelly asked.
“Yes.” Among other things.
“I keep thinking about how she died,” Shelly said.
“How horrible her death was.”
“It was,” Daria agreed.
“How old was she?” Shelly asked.
“I think I heard someone say she was eighteen,” Daria said.
“Eighteen.” Shelly blinked her eyes, and in the moon180 Diane Chamberlain light, Daria saw the glossy sheen of tears in them. “Three years younger than me. It’s just not fair.”
“I know,” Daria said.
“A lot of things in life aren’t fair.”
“Iwish I could have traded places with her.” Daria felt some alarm.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t mean that I want to die,” she said quickly.
“But I just feel so sorry for her, that she got three whole years less on earth than I’ve had.”
Daria smiled and pulled her sister close to her.
“You are such a sweetheart,” she said, touched by Shelly’s reasoning. She was glad that she’d lied on her EMT report. And she would lie in her debriefing tomorrow. How could Pete ever ask her to desert her sister?
Rory put his arm around Daria’s shoulders.
“What a horrendous experience,” he said.
“I assume you never told Shelly what really happened?”
“You haven’t known Shelly very long,” Daria said, “but I’m sure you know her well enough to realize she couldn’t handle it.” She leaned her head back against the screen door and looked up at the stars.
Rory’s arm was warm and comforting against her shoulders.
“I still can’t believe I filled out that fraudulent report,” she said.
“I
lied. ” She pounded her fist onto her knee.
“I’ve never lied about anything so important, but I couldn’t drag Shelly into that mess. Pete said the pilot might have died, anyway, but I don’t know if that’s the case.”
“What a nightmare,” Rory said.
“That’s why I quit my EMT position,” she said.
“I just couldn’t face another call. I couldn’t stand to lose another victim, and I was… I still am… disgusted with myself for letting Shelly go out there and for covering up what she did. People here look up to me, and I feel like a fraud.”
“I can’t help but think you did the right thing in covering up Shelly’s role in the accident,” Rory said.
“What good would it have done to point out her mistake to the world? It only would have hurt her, and it wouldn’t have changed anything.”
“I shouldn’t have let her go out to the plane,” Daria said.
“But you thought she could help,” Rory said.
“Had she ever given you a reason to think she was capable of making that sort of error?”
“No,” she admitted.
“That’s why it was so shocking. It was so cold in the water. I keep using that as an excuse, that maybe her ability to reason was screwed up by the cold and confusion. We were all crazed. I doubt any of us were thinking straight.”
“Was that the end of things between you and Pete?” Rory asked. “Pete was so upset that he moved to Raleigh practically the next day,” she said.
“He quit being an EMT, probably for the same reason I did. I miss it so much, though.” Her voice broke again.
Neither of them spoke for a moment. The crackling rush of the waves was the only sound.
“Why did you go tonight?” Rory asked finally.
“Why did you go to the accident?” “I was hoping I would find some strength inside myself that would allow me to help. They are short-staffed. I know that. When I got there, though, and saw how serious the accident was, I just froze. I can’t handle someone else dying in my care. But I feel so selfish.”
She pounded her fist on her knee again.
“Selfish. Guilty. Ashamed.
Cowardly. “
