The Midwife's Confession

“Where do they live?” She was having trouble taking her eyes off the face of the woman.

“California.”

“California!” Could she be wrong? “So…Wilmington is… You haven’t lived here before?” It was a weird question to ask and she knew it as soon as it left her mouth, but Emerson didn’t seem to notice.

“Actually, I lived here until my sophomore year of high school and then my dad got transferred to Greensboro, so I finished high school there. Then in July, he got transferred to L.A., but I wanted to stay in North Carolina. I love Wilmington.”

“And I’m from Wake Forest,” Tara volunteered.

Noelle forced herself to put the photograph back on Emerson’s dresser. “Where did you get your name?” she asked Emerson.

“My mother’s maiden name,” Emerson said.

Yes, Noelle thought. Yes. “Well, tell me more about your families,” she said, sitting down again. She hadn’t asked that question of any of the other students. With them, she’d talked about their schedules, their majors, their interests. But she would make this conversation sound like her usual getting-to-know-you drill.

Tara went first, as she’d expected her to. Her father was an accountant, her mother a homemaker, and she was an only child.

“Me, too,” Emerson piped in.

No, you’re not, Noelle thought to herself.

Tara could talk a blue streak. She was a theater major, which didn’t surprise Noelle a bit. In any other circumstance, Noelle would have found her intriguing—her energy, her extroversion—but right now, she was desperate for Emerson to have her turn.

“So you’re an only child, too,” she said, when she was finally able to shift the focus back to Emerson.

“Yeah. My mom’s a nurse and my dad’s in sales for this big furniture company.”

A nurse! “I’m a nursing major,” she blurted out. This is not about you, she reminded herself. Yet this conversation was entirely about her and she knew it. She glanced at the photograph of Emerson’s parents again, drawn to the woman and her wide smile. “Will they visit you here sometime, do you think, or will you be going to California to see them instead?”

“Right now they’re gaga over California,” Emerson said, “but my grandparents live in Jacksonville, so they’ll have to come back to North Carolina sometime.”

Noelle’s heart gave a thud. Grandparents. She thought of the manila folder she had in her room down the hall—one thing of her mother’s that she had kept for herself. “Your mother’s parents or your father’s?” Was she sounding like a nutcase? She hadn’t asked any other student about her grandparents. Why would she?

“My mother’s,” Emerson said. “My father’s parents are both dead.”

“I’ve got all of mine,” Tara said. “But they all live in Asheville where my parents grew up, so I hardly ever see them.”

“That’s a shame,” Noelle said. “You’ll have to try to visit them sometime soon.” She swept her attention back to Emerson, hoping she didn’t seem as rude as she felt. “Any other interesting names in your family?” she asked. “What’s your father’s name?”

“Plain old Frank,” Emerson said.

Tara was frowning. Noelle could see her expression out of the corner of her eye. Tara wasn’t exactly on to her—who could possibly figure out what she was up to? But Noelle was afraid Tara was beginning to think the Resident Assistant was not all there. Yet she had the answer she needed. She had all the answers now, and she couldn’t stay in the room another second. Something was going to burst inside her if she did.

She looked at her watch. “Whoa,” she said, “I’ve been here way too long! I need to move on but wanted to get to know you two. We’ll have a hall meeting tomorrow night with cake and games, so make sure you’re around.” She stood, holding on to the back of the desk chair because she felt wobbly. “Meantime, if you have any questions or problems, you know where my room is, right?”

“Right,” Tara said.

“Thanks for stopping by,” Emerson added.

Noelle made it out the door before she had to lean against the wall to hold herself up. From Room 305, she could hear giggling, then Tara whispering to Emerson, “I think she’s totally in love with you.”

She was not far off.

Back in her room, she dialed Miss Wilson’s house and was relieved when her mother answered. “I need to talk to you, Mama,” she said. “Seriously talk.”

“Are you all right?” Her mother sounded breathless as if she’d run to answer the phone.

“I’m fine.” Noelle sat down on her bed, not fine at all. “Do you have time?”

“Hold on.” Her mother left the phone and Noelle could hear the clank of dishes. Then she was on the line again. “I’m back. What’s wrong?”

She’d thought about this conversation a hundred times in the past few years but had never honestly expected to have it. She hadn’t expected Emerson. She hadn’t even known that Emerson existed. Meeting her changed everything.

Noelle drew in a breath. “When I helped you move out of our house before my freshman year, I saw one of your files. Not on purpose. It was windy that day and… It doesn’t matter. I saw it. The file on me.”

“On you?”