“Yes. You had a very bad concussion.”
“I don’t remember.” She tried to open her eyes again, managing to lift one of the lids a bit, but closing it quickly against the light in the room.
“Turn out the light, Alan,” Gabriel said, and he let go of her hand for a moment. She heard him at the window, lowering the blinds, perhaps. Then he was back, holding her hand once more. “Try it again,” he said. “Open your eyes. It’s darker in here now.”
She did. First her left eye, which popped open as if on a spring, then the right. The room was dim, but she could see Gabriel’s face close to hers. She reached up to touch his cheek. It was wet.
“Liz, I’m so glad to see you,” he said, turning his face to kiss her palm. “You had us really scared.”
“What happened?” she asked.
“You were in a car accident,” he said.
“I don’t remember.” Her mind felt thick with confusion. “When? Where was I going?”
“It happened nearly a month ago,” he said.
“Yes. You and Carlynn were in your car. You were in Big Sur, do you remember?” His words were slow and measured, as though he had practiced saying them many times.
She had the flimsiest, dreamlike sort of memory of being in the car with Carlynn, driving in the fog. “Not a month ago,” she said.
“Yes, hon,” he said. “You’ve been unconscious all this time. I’m so relieved to see you finally waking up.”
Her head was pounding, and she raised her hand to her temple, where her fingers touched some sort of material—fabric or gauze—instead of her hair. “What’s on my head?” she asked.
“You suffered several different injuries,” he said. “You had the concussion, as I mentioned. Your leg was broken in a few places. And you had some internal bleeding. They did a couple of surgeries on you. You lost a lot of blood, and they gave you transfusions. But your body is healing. And every day, the physical therapist comes in and moves your arms and your legs to keep your muscles toned.”
“Shanti Joy.” The name came back to her suddenly.
“What?” Gabriel asked.
“The baby at the commune.” Alan’s voice came from across the room. “What about it?”
“Carlynn wanted to go back to the commune to see Penny and the baby one last time,” Lisbeth said. “And there was fog. Oh! Car coming at us.” She felt her body flinch, and she drew her hand away from Gabriel’s.
“That’s right, but you’re not there now, Liz.” Gabe took her hand again. “You’re safe. Here with me. You and Carlynn were driving in the fog on those narrow roads at Big Sur. A car was coming toward you, in the wrong lane, and Carlynn swerved to avoid it and went over the side of the cliff. You were unbelievably lucky to get out of there in as good shape as you did.”
Where, she thought suddenly, was Carlynn? Alan was here in this room with her. And Gabe. But she hadn’t seen Carlynn or heard her voice. She felt her heartbeat quicken in her chest.
“What about Carlynn?” she asked. “Is she all right?”
Gabriel hesitated a moment before shaking his head. “Baby, I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes watching her carefully. “She didn’t make it.”
“What do you mean?” She felt panicky. “You don’t mean she…”
Gabriel nodded. “She was killed in the accident,” he said. “I’m so sorry, Liz.”
“No!” Lisbeth let go of his hand to pound his chest with both fists. “Please, please, please! Gabriel!” She tried to turn her head to see Alan where he was standing by the door, but pain shot from her neck to her temple, and she could not see him. “Alan!” she screamed.
“Shh!” Alan moved toward her quickly. He took her fists and held them, coiled and knotted, in his own hands.
“She can’t be dead,” Lisbeth said. “She
“She died very, very quickly,” Alan said, and she knew, more from the tears in his eyes than from his words, that her sister was gone. “She was…” He stumbled, glancing at Gabriel, looking for the words. “She was pressed between the steering wheel and the seat. The police said she never knew what hit her. She didn’t suf—”
There were voices outside her room, and Alan quickly turned his head toward the door. He looked at Gabriel.
“I think the nurse is coming,” he said.
“Head her off,” Gabe said, and Alan dropped Lisbeth’s hands and strode to the door. She heard it open and fall shut with a soft thud.
“Lisbeth,” Gabriel said, “if the nurse should come in, Alan and I will be calling you Carlynn.”
“I’ll explain, but just so you know. Please. It’s important. Pretend to be Carlynn.”
“No!” She tried hard to sit up, but her head was too heavy to lift from the pillow.
“Shh,” Gabriel said. “Settle down. Please don’t talk so loud. I’ll try to explain. I know this is too much for you to handle right now. To absorb. But just listen, please, baby. Just listen to me.”
