The Class Menagerie

She came back and the two of them went into the room. 'What's happening here?' Pooky asked, her voice shaking.

'I don't know, but it's something nasty. This isn't a joke,' Jane said, hearing a quaver in her own voice.

Just then, they heard a scream from the next room.

They could smell the problem before they saw it. The scream had come from Beth's room and Jane and Crispy nearly collided as they ran toward the room from opposite directions. A horrible, skunklike smell was already wafting into the hall.

The room was empty, but the smell was so intense it almost knocked Jane out of the room. She took a deep breath and plunged back in. Beth was shrieking and pounding on the bathroom door from the inside. Jane, heart pounding wildly, tried to open the door but it was locked.

'Unlock the door!' she shouted, trying not to retch. 'Calm down! Just turn the little knob.' Oh, God, if she could just get one clean breath of air!

They heard Beth frantically scrabbling at the door, then suddenly it flew open and Beth stumbled out, nearly knocking Jane over.

Jane was hard on her heels.

The others gathered in the hall attempted to approach Beth, but reeled back immediately. The smell was coming from her. 'In my deodorant,' Beth gasped.

She was wrapped in a big towel and had another around her wet hair. She was sort of backing in circles, trying to get away from herself.

Crispy grabbed her arm and started giving orders.

'Jane, open the windows. The one in her room first. Everybody, go open your windows! Beth, come to my room and get in the shower quickly. Wash the stuff off, for God's sake!'

Avalon and Kathy were already bolting for their own rooms, gagging. Breathing through her mouth, Jane plunged into Beth's room and flung open the window. It was a cool morning and she gulped the air as if she'd nearly drowned. Then she ran back into the hall and started opening other bedroom doors to get to the windows. Within moments, she had everything open.

'What on earth—' Edgar said from the top of the stairs. 'What in hell is that stink!'

'Another joke, Edgar,' Jane said. 'If you have an attic fan, you might want to turn it on until we get the smell out. And bring me a plastic bag, would you?'

Jane picked up a handful of cleaning rags and went first to Crispy's room. The shower was running, foul- smelling steam was pouring out the half-open bathroom door, and Crispy, standing outside it with her hand over her nose, was saying, 'Use all the soap you can find. Pour the whole bottle of shampoo over yourself if you have to. It's getting better. It really is.'

Jane went back to Beth's room and, taking another deep breath, went into the bathroom. The offending deodorant, the kind with liquid and a rolling ball for application, was on the bathroom floor where Beth had thrown it down. Hector had found it and was sniffing at it as if it were merely a mildly interesting odor. 'Hector! Get away from that thing!' she said, shoving him out the door. Then she flung herself at the plastic bottle, capped it, and wrapped it in several layers of cleaning rags. Jane returned again to Crispy's room, Hector trying to trip her the whole way. The smell

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had diminished somewhat. 'Is she okay?' Jane asked Crispy.

Crispy looked pale and stricken. 'I think so.'

Edgar knocked at the bedroom door before poking his arm into the room. He was holding the plastic bag Jane had asked for. Jane tossed the whole wad of deodorant bottle and rags into the bag. 'Triple bag it, Edgar, or it'll stink up the whole neighborhood.'

'What is it?'

'A trick with deodorant.'

'Somebody used it? Smelling like this?'

'I imagine she just unscrewed it and took a quick swipe before the smell hit her. I think you better report this to the police. It could be harmful. Poison or something.'

'No, don't!' Beth shouted from behind the bathroom door. The shower had stopped running. 'It's just a foul odor. I'm perfectly all right.'

'You're sure?' Edgar called to her.

'Absolutely sure.'

'Edgar, before you decide, come look at Avalon's room,' Jane said.

'All right, start from the beginning,' Mel said.

Mel had said he would take an official report from Edgar in a moment, but first wanted to speak to Jane privately. They were in the driveway, sitting in.his car where they couldn't be overheard. Jane was still gasping the fresh air as if she'd never smelled it before and wondering if she'd ever get the lingering odor out of her hair and clothing. Mel wasn't getting too close. She'd made some rough notes while waiting for him to arrive and consulted them. 'First, Pooky's and Avalon's purse contents were exchanged. I told you about that earlier.'

'Anything missing or tampered with?'

'Apparently not.'

'When did this happen?'

'The day they got here. Wednesday afternoon sometime. The next thing was the alarm clocks overnight. Cheap wind-up ones had been hidden in people's rooms and set to go off every couple of hours. I think I told you about that, too.'

'Who got them?' Mel asked wearily.

'Beth, Mimi, and Kathy.'

'Okay, nobody hurt. No property damage,' Mel said as he made a note. 'Next?'

'I guess the next thing was the doorknobs. Apparently there's a screw in the outside half that holds it together. Somebody took the screws out of a couple, so that when the people in the rooms tried to open the doors, the doorknobs and the shafts came away in their hands.'

'Could have been dangerous if there had been a fire,' Mel said. 'But not inherently dangerous.'

'The doorknobs turned up in a flour canister in the kitchen. Along with all the Screws,' Jane added. 'So there was no real damage done. I guess the next thing was that Crispy's underwear disappeared. Sometime while the police were here yesterday morning.'

'Did she find it?'

'Oh, yes,' Jane told him about the display of it in the living room, with the additional items added.

'So, nothing really stolen that wasn't returned. No property damage. Next?'

'Pooky's room was searched and messed up and an antique pen set that she was bringing along to another classmate was stolen. We found it in a wastebasket, unharmed. No property damage,' she said before he could.

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'Next?'

'Avalon's room was wrecked this morning.'

'Wrecked?'

'No, sorry. Messed up horribly. Drawers open, bedclothes yanked off. But she says nothing is missing. And nothing was torn or broken, for all the mess it was. And then the deodorant trick on Beth.'

'My lab man says he's pretty sure it's something you can get in fishing and hunting stores. Something you either attract animals with or scare them off, I don't remember which he said,' Mel murmured.

'What do you think?' Jane asked.

He smiled at her. Dazzlingly, she thought. 'About what? Practical jokes in general? They're dumb and these aren't even particularly elaborate or funny. Not like slipping a horsehair into someone's cigarette.'

'You think that's funny? The male mind never ceases to amaze me. No, I mean what do you think about these jokes?'

'I don't know. I'm just taking the report. What do you think, Jane? You've gotten to know these women. Who do you think's doing it?'

'I have no idea. It obviously wasn't Lila, though. Some of the jokes didn't happen until after she was