Silence of the Hams

“Because the 'juicy' stuff, as you put it, was about people who aren't around anymore. At least the ones we've been able to check so far. They've moved away or died or — in one case — already gone to jail for the transgression mentioned in the file.'

“Mel, I'm not following this. You apparently have some theory. I hate to be stupid, but—'

“No, it's not you. I'm being deliberately vague, wondering if you'd leap to the same conclusion I did. Which is something I shouldn't be doing — forming theories without enough facts. You see, it has to do with what's not in the file drawer. When I interviewed everybody I could find who attended the deli opening, I turned up several people who had dealings with Stonecipher at one time or another. Like the Dohertys just as an example — the people who got the nasty divorce and then got back together and didn't have any moneyleft because Stonecipher had cleaned them out.'

“And there wasn't a file for them?' Jane asked. 'I'm sorry, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything except that he didn't know anything nasty about them.”

Mel cocked an eyebrow. 'After representing an angry wife in a prolonged, ugly divorce suit, he had nothing to the husband's disadvantage?'

“Hmm. I see what you mean. LeAnne probably said some pretty nasty things about Charles. And true or not, he probably kept a record since he was given to doing that sort of thing.”

Mel put the folder back in the briefcase. 'That's what I thought, too. So I got out my list of interviews from the deli opening, pulled out those names of people who admitted to having consulted Stonecipher. I checked those names against the private files and found practically none of them. Now, as you said, that could mean he just didn't have anything on them. Or—'

“—or it could mean those were the other files Emma pulled out,' Jane finished.

Mel shut the briefcase and leaned back, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. 'And it's all a theory. With nothing to back it up. In fact, the whole theory's based on what's not there. The dog that didn't bark.”

They sat in silence for a long time and Mel finally opened his door. 'Want to walk?'

“Think it will make my brain work?' Jane said with a smile.

“Your mind doesn't have to work on this. Mine does. I only told you this because it involved you in a way.”

He came around and helped her out. After locking the car, he took her hand and started strolling toward the swing set at the far end of the park.

“How do you suppose Emma knew about the private files?' Jane asked as they walked.

“She contributed,' Mel replied. 'They were two of a kind, her and her sleazy boss. She was his paralegal, did some initial interviews and such. Some of the notes are in her handwriting.'

“Because she thought someday he'd dump his wife, marry her, and the two of them would settle down to a nice little blackmailing racket in their golden years,' Jane said, disgusted.

“Maybe. We'll never know. They're both dead.'

“Good!' Jane said. 'Sorry. I shouldn't have said that, but it sure doesn't sound like either of them will be missed. But couldn't he have already been using the material he'd accumulated?'

“Could be.'

“Which might explain why some people didn't fight him on his various 'causes.' He might have used what he knew to make people knuckle under instead of trying to get money from them,' Jane mused.

“That's possible,' Mel said. 'We'll have experts go over all his books with a fine-tooth comb to see if there's any extra money unaccounted for, but it will take a while.”

Jane sat down on a swing and Mel went around behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders and pushing her gently.

“You know,' Jane said, 'I can see him doing that — making people go along with his nutty causes by reminding them of their sins — and feeling very noble about it,' Jane said. 'He was a ends-justify-the-means kind of person. He wouldn't have cared, I imagine, how many people he made miserable so long as he got his damned bicycle lane or fat content on menus.”

Mel just rubbed her shoulders and said, 'Mmm.'

“Do you think that's why somebody pushed the rack over on him? Just because they were so damned glad to find him dead and a bunch of old anger boiled up?'

“I've wandered too far from facts and into theory already,' Mel said. 'And I need to get back to work on the facts. Ready to go home?'

“I guess so,' Jane said. 'I'd rather stay here and swing though.'

“So would I,' he said, bending to plant a light kiss on her bare shoulder. 'But duty calls.”

When they got to Jane's house, Mel said, 'Don't talk to anyone about all this.”

“Shelley—?'

“Oh, she could probably read your mind anyway, but don't talk to anybody else and for God's sake, don't try to help by snooping.'

“Okay. I wish I could read my own mind,' Jane said as he helped her out of the car. She'd plucked one of the little blue lozenges of paper off her skirt and was staring at it.13 Shelley must have seen her come home because the phone started ringing the minute Jane opened the kitchen door. 'You looked smashing!' Shelley said. 'Bet Mel was knocked out.'

“Huh? Oh, the dress. Yes.'

“So, what did he say? Not about the dress. About Emma.'

“Tons. Bizarre stuff. And I even have permission to tell you. But I have to get to the grocery store before the kids and animals start gnawing on the furniture.'

“Hang up the dress first.'

“Yes, Mother!' Jane said, laughing.

Jane was back in an hour, the station wagon practically dragging from the weight of the groceries. Shelley met her in the driveway and carried in a bag of ice. Jane grabbed a bag and bellowed for the kids to carry in the rest. Only Todd showed up. 'He must be the hungriest,' Jane muttered.

Shelley helped put things away as they came in. 'My God! I hope you had lots of coupons along. What did you do, buy one of everything in the store?'

“Nearly. I'm determined not to go back for at least two weeks, except for bread or milk. Leave all the meats on the corner of the counter until I figure out which I want to cook first and I'll put the rest in the basement freezer.'

“Eight packages of Jell-O? Have you lost your mind?'

“Todd could live on it,' Jane said, taking a couple nearly empty cereal boxes out of an upper cabinet in order to put new ones in. She dumped all the old cereal into one box, put it back in the cabinet and went to the bottom of the stairs to bellow up, 'Mike, come get Willard's food out of the car. The bag's too heavy for Todd to carry.'

“So what did Mel have to say?' Shelley asked as she folded empty grocery bags.

“A lot, but it's sort of baroque and I have to concentrate to even tell it right. Wait a minute until the kids are out from underfoot.”

Mike slumped through the kitchen and was back in a minute with a fifty-pound bag of dog food on his shoulder. He made some Tarzan noises as he passed them on his way to the basement.

When he returned, Shelley said to him, 'I want a ride in the truck pretty soon.”

He snagged a carton of milk Jane was putting away, grabbed a glass, and hitched his chair up to the table. 'Tell you what, Mrs. Nowack, why don't you and Mom go somewhere in it this evening? Scott and I are double- dating and have to use his car.'

“That sounds great. You'd really trust us with it?'

“Well, I've a rope tied to it to pull you back if you go more than a mile, but yeah,' Mike said, grinning.

Jane finished putting away the food, leaving out bread, jelly, sliced ham, lettuce, mayo, and peanut butter for the kids to fix sandwiches. 'No chips?' Katie wailed as she came into the kitchen.

“Cabinet next to the oven,' Jane said. 'Have you never noticed where they live?”

A little later, sitting on the patio with Shelley, she was still grousing. 'Of course she doesn't know where I keep anything because she never troubles to put anything away. But I had a shock yesterday. She cleaned up her