The Walrus and the Warwolf

She looked at him again, shrugged, picked up a rolling pin and retreated into the room she had come from. Drake hastened to the door of that room. And was met by a brawny purple-skinned man who was not entirely a stranger.'Greetings, Oronoko,' said Drake.'Fa'unu a'fukutu,' said Oronoko.

And scooped up Drake, carried him to the door of the kitchen, and threw him outside in the dust.

17

Zanya Kliedervaust: priestess of the Orgy God of the Ebrell Islands; renounced her position and formally abjured alcohol, sexual intercourse, sunbathing, the eating of sweet things and all the other pleasures of the flesh after seeing her mother, father, brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles and aunts die of venereal disease, alcoholism and obesity.

Quit Ebrell and travelled west in the company of Prince Oronoko of Parengarenga, questing for purity. Arriving at Cam on the xebec which rescued Drake Douay from the Central Ocean, sought work at the leprosarium.

Was converted to the worship of the Flame by Gouda Muck; became an apostle for Goudanism and left Stokos to preach the Faith in foreign parts.

The wizard Miphon was cleaning a xyster when Drake Douay was brought into his clinic by one of the women from the kitchen. Blood was dripping through Drake's blond hair and sleeking down his weather-battered sealskins. A drop of dark red fell soundlessly to the cool grey flagstones of the floor.

'Welcome,' said Miphon, speaking in the Galish Trading Tongue; and, smiling to reinforce his welcome, he laid the xyster down on a well-scrubbed table of sun-bleached driftwood.'Tach smin hebalar,' said the woman from the kitchen.

Miphon, who did not speak her language, waved her out of the clinic. Choosing to misinterpret this gesture, she

seated herself in one of the clinic's five bamboo chairs.'Out!' said Miphon sharply, clapping his hands twice.

Reluctantly, curiosity unappeased, the woman left. Miphon pointed Drake to a bamboo chair, which creaked as the bloodstained pirate sat.'Have you been fighting?' said Miphon.

'Nay, man,' said Drake, looking around the clinic. His gaze lingered on a remarkable array of delicate steel instruments – hooks, blades', tweezers, spikes and probes. With luck, he could slip a couple into his pockets. Whale Mike might like them for his scrimshaw work. 'I was testing my powers of flight when my wings fell off.''How far did you fall?''Half way from here to Narba.'

'And you hit your head. What's the last thing you remember?'

'Why, the death and resurrection of the star-dragon Bel. A whore who turned into a horse as she came. Five dozen oysters dancing drunk in the streets of Narba. Why all these daft questions, man? I'm bleeding to death!'

'A little blood,' said Miphon, 'goes a long way. Tell me – what do you see?'So saying, the green-eyed wizard held up three fingers.

'See?' said Drake. 'Why, I see a blind rat mating with a seagull. Aye, and four blue lepers hauling a giant cockroach backwards up a mountain.''That's near enough,' said Miphon.

And, turning away, the wizard began to wash his hands in a bowl of water. Drake smelt something strange. What? Oh – soap. He remembered his sister using it a couple of times. Swift and sly, he reached out, grabbed a couple of tiny cutlass-curved blades from a nearby bench and slipped them into a pocket. Miphon, shaking the water off his hands, turned back to Drake and began examining his scalp.

'I'm the wizard Miphon,' he said, easing Drake's hair this way and that as he explored the damage.T know that,' said Drake. 'We met on Stokos. Ow!

That's sore! Hey – you really don't remember me?'

'In busy times,' said Miphon, T can see upwards of a hundred people a day. How can I remember all of them?'

Drake felt insulted.

'But I was special!' he said. 'You told me a tale about you being a mind-reading elf. You gave me a philtre to cure myself of love.'

'Oh,' said Miphon, pouring water from a ewer into a clean bowl. 'Oh … I remember now.' He balanced the bowl on the back of Drake's chair, the hard edge of it against the nape of Drake's neck. 'Lean back. I've got to wash the blood out of your hair. Hmmm … I remember you all right. But the name . . . that escapes me.''I'm Arabin lol Arabin,' said Drake.

The lie came easily. It was a smart move. Who knows? This wizard could have converted to Gouda Muck's cult. He might be one of those who was hunting Drake, thinking him the son of the demon Hagon.

'Arabin lol Arabin,' said Miphon. 'I won't forget you when we meet again.''We'll never meet again.'

'It's a small world,' said Miphon. 'Hmmm . . . this looks good . . . the bleeding's more or less stopped.''That's health for you,' said Drake.

Miphon laid aside the bowl of blood-misted water. Taking a sharp blade, the wizard began to shave hairs on either side of the gash where Drake's scalp had been torn as his head hit the ground when the purple-skinned Oronoko threw him out of the kitchen.

'How much hair are you cutting away?' said Drake in alarm.'Does it matter?' said Miphon.

'It matters much! Man, there's a beautiful red-breasted woman I want to make. I can hardly court her if you've cut me half bald.''You're after the Kliedervaust woman?' said Miphon.'That's her.'Miphon laughed.

'You won't get her,' he said. 'She's in the clutches of faith. She preaches the defiance of the flesh.''And what do you think of that?'

'Flesh,' said Miphon, 'is that through which we live. No flesh, no life. Of course, flesh is but the medium in which our existence finds expression. The expression of existence is not to be confounded with the inspiration of that expression. Mere hedonism would exult the medium at the expense of the inspiration. So perhaps her doctrine is a necessary corrective for certain trends.'

'Man,' said Drake, 'you make a right proper tangle out of simple language. What did you mean to say? That you agree with this talk of purity? Or that you don't?'

'That I both do and don't,' said Miphon. 'It is both wise and foolish. Something, perhaps, could be made of it in time.'

'There speaks a wizard! Hey, man – just how much hair are you cutting?'

'Just enough so I've clear skin to sew up this gash with cat-gut.'

'Cat-gut!' said Drake, scandalized. 'The gut of a cat? In me? Man, that's disgusting. Why not dog-gut?'

'Because the dog,' said Miphon, 'is a foul, polluted animal which has nothing to offer the healing arts.' He took up a curved needle from which a length of dark thread trailed. 'This thread is the cat-gut. Hold still, now. This will hurt.'

And he began to sew up the gash in Drake's scalp. With cat-gut.

'Man,' said Drake, doing his best to ignore the bright silver pain of the needle, 'tell me. How long has this Zanya Kliedervaust been here?'

'I've been here ninety days myself,' said Miphon, tying a knot. 'She was here when I came. She preaches nightly to the troops.'

'Surely she must have preached to every soldier here long, long ago.''The garrison,' said Miphon, guiding pain again into

Drake's flesh, 'rotates. These soldiers are from the Landguard of the Confederation of Wizards. They guard the castles ranged along Drangsturm; they patrol the shores; they hunt down the few stray monsters which escape our scrutiny and flee to the mountains north of the flame trench.''They work … for wizards, then?''Yes.'

'So you, as a wizard,' said Drake, 'do you command this island?'

'I've a commander's power on Burntos if I choose to use it,' said Miphon. 'I've a warrant from the Confederation to prove that power. But I've more sense to try that power except under the pressure of necessity.'

'Man, power is for using. That's half the fun of having it.'