I was sitting in the car wondering what to do next when my mobile bleated.
‘Hardy.’
‘This is Tess Hewitt, Cliff. I’m sorry about what happened the other night. I over-reacted.’
‘It’s okay, Tess. I’m glad you called. I didn’t mean to upset you but this bloody business I’m in requires it sometimes. Anyway, what’s new?’
‘Well, you were right. Bill Damelian didn’t have any trouble getting bail for Ramsay and he doesn’t think the charge’ll proceed. So I should’ve listened to you.’
‘That’s good. Where’s Ramsay now? I’d like to talk to him.’
‘God, you do stick at it, don’t you? He’s doing something for one of the television stations about the protest. He said he feels terrible about the guard but…’
‘The publicity’s good.’
‘He’s young, Cliff. I sort of hoped you might want to talk to me .’
She hadn’t really answered the question about Ramsay’s whereabouts and I wanted to put the same question I’d put to her, to him: who was the Tadpole Creek protest’s benefactor? She misinterpreted my pause.
‘All right, then. You don’t want to see me again. I…’
‘Tess, Tess, don’t get me wrong. I do want to see you. Right now. Where are you?’
I was hoping she wasn’t at the protest. The last thing I wanted to do was crowd Geoff.
‘I’m at home,’ she said. ‘Please come, and you can ask me anything you want. I promise I won’t fly off the handle.’
There’s nothing like resolving a conflict to bring people closer. Tess said hello and touched my arm. I walked into the house with a companionable feeling that was rapidly becoming something more than that. We had a drink and more or less repeated our phone conversation. But we were standing closely together, almost leaning towards each other. I abandoned my glass and put my arms around her.
It had been a considerable time since I’d had sex with someone and the need in me was great. She seemed to feel the same. But we were in no hurry. I enjoyed the feel and smell of her. Her body was well covered but not soft and when she lifted my hands onto her breasts I felt the smooth silk of her blouse and the fabric of her bra and the firmness underneath. I heard my own sharp intake of breath and kissed her hard. She moved her hand to my crotch and gripped me.
‘I want to,’ she said. ‘You do, too.’
‘Yes.’
‘Come on.’
She led me through to her bedroom. We took off each other’s clothes in a slow-moving dance around the bed. She turned on a lamp. I pulled back the covers. We lay down and rolled together in an embrace that had us touching from head to toe. She was broad-shouldered and wide-hipped. She had the remnants of a deep summer tan except where her swimsuit had been. I kissed her pale breasts and she moaned and stroked me. Her nipples hardened. She opened her legs and I put my hand between them and probed.
‘You’re not married now, are you?’ she said.
‘No.’
‘I haven’t slept with a man for two years. I haven’t wanted to.’
I was looking at her face. Her skin was taut over her cheekbones, smooth and clear. I was inside her, feeling the wetness and I knew I was filling her hand. My voice was hoarse. ‘Tess, we don’t have to fuck if you don’t want to. We can do something else.’
She wriggled free of me and reached into a shelf under the bedside table. She held up a packet of condoms. ‘You’re a vile seducer to say something like that. Fuck me, please.’
Later, she pulled the blankets up and we dozed for a little while, locked close together the way only new lovers can be. Discomfort isn’t an issue, only the contact. I felt her stirring and thought she was going to pull away but she didn’t.
If anything, she moved closer. I took a firmer hold to show her my appreciation.
‘Are you all right?’ she murmured.
‘I’m a lot better than all right. You?’
‘Mm.’
I began to take in details of the room for the first time – polished floor with rug, built-in wardrobes with mirrored doors, heavy curtains. The bed was queen size and low, with wicker bedside tables – one bare, the other holding books, a drinking glass and a lamp. The sheets were some kind of coarse, nubbly cotton. In the dim light I couldn’t make out the colour scheme, but I liked the unfussy, spartan feel of the room. It was something like my own bedroom, except that I was inclined to let the empty glasses and coffee mugs build up and the odd sock and T-shirt to lie about.
‘Detecting, are you?’ she said.
I nuzzled down into her hair for the smell of roses it held. ‘Not really. It’s just that I was so blinded by lust when I came in that I didn’t notice a bloody thing.’
‘Controlled lust, I’d say. Whatever happens, I’m glad I broke the drought with you.’
‘Likewise, it’s been a bit of a drought for me, too. I nearly…’
‘What?’
‘Nothing.’
Now she did pull away, slightly. ‘Come on, I thought we were getting close here. I don’t want your life story, Cliff. But you were starting to say something about the here and now, weren’t you?’
I had a sense that this was one of those crucial moments when you tell the truth and suffer the consequences, or don’t, and feel things slip way from you, go out of your control because you didn’t have the guts.
‘The other day I tracked Damien Talbot to an address in Homebush. He’d left. The woman who told me this was a prostitute. She had your leaflet about Tadpole Creek. She was at least my age, maybe older.’
‘You were tempted?’
I nodded. ‘She was a nice woman.’
She moved back to where she’d been before and her hand got busy again. ‘Use it or lose it,’ she said. ‘So I got lucky and she didn’t make a sale.’
I laughed, and the feeling that I could do a lot of laughing with this woman excited me almost as much as the smooth, warm skin of her shoulders and what she was doing to me. We made love again.
After, we lay close together with only the film of sweat on our bodies separating us. She raised herself up on one elbow and kissed me in what felt like an exploratory fashion.
‘You’ve been drinking.’
‘Yep. Whisky, very good Irish whisky in fact. With a woman.’
‘Oh.’
‘Nice woman. Very small.’
‘Yes?’
‘Older than me.’
‘How much older?’
‘Oh, I’d say thirty-five years, give or take a few.’
She dropped back and I rolled over and I took her breasts in my hands, drew them together and kissed the nipples.
‘When I was young they didn’t need lifting up.’
‘They don’t need much now. When I was young I’d be getting ready for you again pretty soon. Come to think of it…’
‘What?’
I told her about the impotence clinic and she laughed until she ran out of breath. Then she stopped laughing and looked at me seriously.
‘I didn’t realise just how far you’re prepared to go in your work. I shouldn’t have objected when you questioned me that way. You can’t help it, can you?’
‘I could’ve been more subtle.’
