back brushed a column, and he knew at any moment everything could collapse. All his strength, all his dreams of glory, would mean nothing to the rock. Following the thread of scent, he crawled.
Several minutes in, Redclaw saw the first of the visions. Silver-Ear had told him to expect his fears, but this wasn’t the combat he had anticipated. Sights hid at the corner of his vision. He heard sounds, but strangely, they did not echo. He heard snarls and growls, and his fur stood on end. Many times it came from straight ahead, but he told himself he would fear nothing. He would back down from no challenge. Random streaks of color flashed before him, never lasting long. He ignored them best he could. His head felt even lighter, and he occasionally shook it and wished he had something to eat. If only he could think clearly, fill his belly with blood and meat to make the sensation go away.
The cavern suddenly opened up before him. His back touched no stone, and a chill wind blew against him. Willing to risk it, he stood, holding an arm above him so he did not bump his head. He touched nothing. Sucking in the cold air, he howled at the top of his lungs, defying the darkness. The noise echoed, seeming to grow with each passing second. His ears ached, but he would not give in. The colors before him merged, taking form, and then he saw the fear the shaman warned him of.
It was his father, Skysight. He had been pack leader, and before his death, commanded a mighty force of four hundred strong. His eyes were a clear blue, and they sparkled with an intelligence most wolf-men could only dream of.
“Why have you come?” asked his father.
“Because I must,” he said. “I am Wolf King. I must know no fear.”
Skysight laughed.
“Stupid pup. Have you known fear before?”
Ashamed, he nodded.
“And do you know it now?”
“I do.”
Another laugh. For a moment Skysight faded, then reemerged. He seemed so bright in the darkness, his body almost entirely white, as if a great moon shone upon him.
“Are you defeated now? Are you no longer Wolf King? What does it matter if you are afraid?”
Redclaw swallowed. His father was dead; he knew this, for he had witnessed his death, along with the near shattering of his pack in a vicious battle against another group of wolves. What was it he spoke to? A spirit? A vision? Or was he hearing only what he wanted to hear?
“It matters,” said Redclaw, “for you were never afraid. You were greater than I, yet you were never Wolf King. By what right can I claim it if you never did?”
Skysight shook his head.
“You ask the wrong questions. You make wrong answers. I died, while you lived. I fell to Grassgut, yet you tore out his throat and scattered his pack. How can I be the greater?”
His father shimmered, became a corpse, became bones, and then was gone. Redclaw was once more alone in the cave. Snot ran from his nose, and water leaked from his eyes.
What does it matter if you are afraid?
What indeed? He wished to live. That was all. More than anything, he savored life, and the life of his pups. It gave him purpose. It gave him strength. And when his opponent sought to end his life, more than anything he refused to let them. His fear was from a desire for life, and he knew that, as long as he never succumbed to it, he would be the greater. He was a wolf-man who knew fear when all others knew only bloodlust. Would that be his legacy? Would that understanding grant him the rule he desired?
He crossed the great cavern, following the smell of shit. At the other end, when his claws touched stone, he heard a sound behind him. He turned and saw Goldfoot, his mate. She lay on the ground, her form swarming with shadows. She was not looking at him. Not a sound escaped her lips.
Come to me, he heard, as if the voice came from the center of his head. He almost did. He wanted to lift Goldfoot up, to tell her that her pups had grown strong, that her death in birthing them had granted them life. But Silver-Ear’s words echoed in his mind. There was only one way. He could not go back.
“You are not here,” he said, the words heavy on his tongue. “You are gone. You are dead. As are you, father. I do not need you. I am mighty. I am Wolf King.”
But even the Wolf King knew how small he was when his voice echoed in that cavern. He put his back to the image, shook his head, and then pressed on.
The strange rustling grew stronger as he crawled through another tunnel. Twice he thought he might be stuck, but he sucked in his breath and shifted side to side, refusing to panic. More than anything, he desired the light of day, for even it was better than true darkness. Even its burning fire was better than a night without either. A life without moon and sun was empty; it closed about him, and it made a mockery of his powerful senses. Closer and closer, the rustling. He heard squeaks within it, and by now the smell was potent.
A subtle turn, and then he was there. His eyes winced, and he realized that he could see. Creatures covered the ceiling, and the noise they made was deafening. Bats, he realized, the night birds that flew above them during hunts. The smell of their shit curled his stomach, and breathing its fumes made him dizzy. Turning away, he returned to the large cavern, took in a full, clean breath, and then returned. Holding his breath, he crawled through the bat shit. Redclaw felt their droppings fall upon him, and his anger grew. Was this meant to humble him?
But he could see light, however small. It was nearly blazing to his eyes now, and he followed it quick as he could. One turn, then another, and finally he could hold his breath no more. He let it out slowly, then took in another. The smell was already weaker. A hint of warm air blew across his skin. One bent step, then another, and finally he emerged into the daylight, the exit far larger and surrounded by trees.
Silver-Ear waited for him, and she gestured toward the river.
“Wash yourself,” she said. “And drink of the Gihon’s water. It will help your head.”
He obeyed, surprised that he felt no anger. Silver’s eyes held no mockery, no amusement at his state. If anything, she seemed happy to see him. The river’s water was cold, but still warmer than the heart of the cave. He dipped his head underneath, then emerged. He drank deeply, then stepped out of the water. Autumn had not reached its strongest, so he would suffer no illness, only mild discomfort at the cold. When he returned to Silver- Ear, she offered him a strip of raw meat from the prior night’s feast.
“Eat,” she said.
He tore into it, wishing there were more. Once he finished it, he sat before her.
“What did you learn?” she asked.
“That without the moon, without the daylight fire, there is only shit.”
Silver-Ear laughed. “Yes, that is true. You are the moon, Redclaw. Even more, you are its King. But remember, there are many others who are the sun. They will frustrate you, anger you, challenge your reign. But they have their purpose. Even ruling over the most frustrating is better than to have no rule at all. Is that all you learned?”
“I know fear, shaman. In this, I am different.”
She shook her head.
“All wolf-men know fear, but they hide it with their bloodlust. They do not speak of it, nor admit it to others. That is a lesson we shamans must learn. In hiding their fear, all of our pack will go far. They will kill, shed blood, and challenge mightier foes. But when death comes in the quiet, they still know fear’s touch. I have been at the side of many sick, many dying. They know fear, and it is then, having hidden from it their whole lives, they do not know how to face it. But you have, as have we. The other shamans will respect that.”
“How will I tell them?”
She stood and gestured for him to lead them back to their pack.
“Tell them you have conquered the moonless night,” she said. “Tell them you have overcome the darkness that goes deeper. Invoke my name if you must. You are Wolf King now, in my eyes. I bow to you.”
Silver-Ear fell to her knees and flattened her ears. Redclaw took her by the shoulder and lifted her back to her feet.
“All others kneel,” he said. “But you must not.”
“You are wise, Wolf King,” she said, and she smiled.
Once back at the pack, Redclaw returned to his pups. His fur had mostly dried, the sun peeking out from the clouds to bless him with its warmth. The two pups shifted and grumbled, angry at the disturbance. He held them
