Two boys pushed through the crowd, and they leapt into Barry’s arms as he dismounted. Jerico remained on his horse, feeling lost. People were shouting and crying all at once, a mixture of anger and heartbreak. Kaide tried to soothe them, but soon gave up.
“Where’s Beth?” he asked repeatedly. “I said where’s Beth?”
“With the others,” said a farmer. “Kalgan’s looking over them.”
“Come on,” Kaide said. Jerico dismounted and followed, leading his horse behind him.
The wounded had been too many to fit into a single hut, so they lay spread out on blankets in the open air. Jerico feared to count how many. Kalgan walked among them, his clothes and hands coated with blood. When he saw their approach, he looked at them with dull, expressionless eyes. In the corner, Barry wept over the still body of his wife while his two boys clutched him tightly.
“Kaide,” Kalgan said, shaking his head. “I don’t know what to say.”
He pointed to where Beth sat on the blankets, staring into nowhere. Kaide called her name, and when she saw him, she burst into tears. Jerico stood, feeling the intruder, as the father ran to his daughter.
“Do you remember what I said?” Kalgan asked, trying futilely to wipe his hands on his robe. “Do you remember?”
“I do,” Jerico said, feeling a knot swell in his throat.
“Good. I hope you remember until the day you die.”
Kalgan went on his way. Jerico looked about. He saw at least seven dead, and thrice that wounded. On every street at least one building had been burned, and in the distance, he saw the torched remains of an entire field of crops. The lump in his throat swelled, and he had to struggle to keep his hands from shaking. After a horrific wait, Kaide finally kissed his daughter’s head and returned.
“You attacked one of Sebastian’s knights,” Kaide said, his glare full of fire. “You struck him, beat him down, and then sent him on his way. You damn fool, this is what you’ve done.”
“He was going to rape-”
“I don’t care!” Kaide shouted. “One woman? One rape? Do you know what they did here? A hundred knights came with swords and armor, burned their food, took every woman they pleased, and killed whoever resisted. One woman, you fucking paladin, all that to stop the rape of one woman? A hundred women can now blame you. A hundred women…”
He choked up, and Jerico looked to Beth with newborn dread.
“Even her?” he asked.
There were tears in Kaide’s eyes when he looked back.
“Even her.”
10
They stayed in the homes of people that would take them. For Jerico, that meant he had none, so he slept in the hut that had been his during his injury. He lay inside, feeling drained beyond belief. He’d knelt and prayed with any who would accept it, but even those with severe injuries seemed hesitant. Normally he would have felt anger, but instead he felt only sadness. Shouting to them how he’d been in the right felt hollow, and selfish. No matter his healing touch, he could not bring back the dead, nor remove the painful memories they’d endured.
“I wasn’t wrong,” Jerico murmured, trying to sleep. Night had finally come, and no one had been happier to see the rise of the moon than him. Free of his armor, he tried to relax, and force his mind from the hundred horror stories he’d had confessed to him. He tried to forget Barry’s wail, forget that single look of betrayal Beth had given him when she’d turned his way. Unable to help it, Jerico felt tears slide down his face.
The door to his hut opened. For some reason, Jerico knew who would be there.
“Close the door,” he said. “I would hate for anyone to see you like this.”
Barry stood at the entrance. In one hand he held a bottle, in the other, a knife.
“I ain’t afraid of what they’ll say,” the man said, his speech slurred from the alcohol. “You think I care?”
He stepped further in, and the door shut behind him. Jerico sat up, glancing toward his mace and shield. If he acted quick, he could still retrieve them. But he didn’t.
“What are you here for, Barry?” he asked.
“You,” he said. He sniffed, and his red eyes were heavy with tears. “My Jess… they say she ran. The others, the ones that didn’t fight it… but no, Jess ran. Stupid woman, she ran, and now who’ll raise my boys? Me?”
He laughed, the bottle swinging loosely in his hand.
“I’m no good. Never been. Was lucky enough to get Jess. Why’d you do it, Jerico? Don’t you ever think? Every damn peasant boy knows you leave a lord’s knights well enough alone. Boys! But you… you…”
He waved the knife, and he took an uncertain step toward him. Jerico remained still, refusing to look away from that pained gaze.
“Are you here to kill me, Barry?”
Barry laughed.
“Maybe. Maybe not. Don’t think even the gods know what I’m gonna do, but I know what I want to do. I want to jam this knife so far down your throat you choke on my elbow. You were supposed to help us, Jerico. You were supposed to help us…”
Jerico stood slowly to make sure Barry knew he posed no threat. From the corner of his eye he watched the unsteady knife. So far it wasn’t poised to stab. Not yet, but close.
“Tell me what you want,” he said. “Tell me, so I may grant it.”
Barry pointed the knife at him.
“I want you to know you was wrong. I want to hear it from you. I want a goddamn apology. Don’t you get it? This is all your fault, and I won’t let you say otherwise. I won’t let you!”
Jerico took a deep breath. He would not lie, not now, not ever. He doubted anything he could say would comfort him, so he spoke the truth and prayed it would be enough.
“I’m not sorry,” he said. “Not for saving that woman. Not for doing what we both know was right. The only thing I’m sorry for is that I wasn’t here to protect everyone. That I couldn’t have died with my shield on my arm and my mace in my hand, standing against those knights, be they a hundred or a hundred thousand. I’m just one man, Barry. One man, foolish, weak, exhausted, and alone. Take my life if you want it. I won’t stop you.”
Barry flung his bottle to the ground, where it shattered.
“You think you can talk yourself outta this? You think I won’t do it? I will. I fucking will!”
“You won’t.”
Kaide stepped inside, his dirk drawn. He glanced at the broken bottle, then at Jerico.
“Go back to your boys, Barry,” Kaide said. “I’d hate for you to do something you’ll regret for the rest of your life.”
Barry wavered, and he looked like a mouse caught between two cats. The knife shook in his unsteady hand.
“He ain’t worth it,” he said, putting away the knife. His shoulder bumped into Kaide’s as he walked out of the hut. “I thought he was, but he ain’t.”
Kaide watched him go, then shut the door behind him.
“Thank you,” Jerico said.
“Forget it. He’s right, you know? You don’t tease a boar, then turn your back to it. You let this entire village suffer, and for what? So you could play the hero? Feel better about yourself? What you stopped happens every day in every single village across Dezrel. It’s shit, it’s wrong, but so’s a hundred other things. We close our eyes, clench our teeth, and endure until we have the strength to fight back.”
“You ask the impossible, Kaide. If I see an innocent suffering harm, I’ll stop it. I won’t keep my hands still because I fear the reactions of an evil world.”
Kaide rolled his eyes.
“Such prepared, proud words that don’t mean shit. We’re not you. What do you think would have happened if this village had fought back?”
“I have no delusions,” said Jerico. “I’ll die one day, probably soon, and it’ll be defending someone without the
