Seeing the pyre filled Harruq’s eyes with tears and ripped apart his heart. It looked like an altar, one he would sacrifice his daughter upon. To what god would she go? What purpose? He imagined his own body lying atop of it, his flesh burning in the fire. He would bear it willingly, gladly, if it would bring life back to the water-filled lungs of his daughter. Still, despite all this, the pyre was beautiful. It was made out of love, and all things made this way are beautiful, to those who have the eyes to see it.
He hugged his wife and kissed her forehead.
“Well done,” he said. His voice cracked.
“Help me move her body,” she said.
“Alright. Let me get her.”
She seemed so peaceful, lying on her back with her eyes closed. Just like a nap, he thought. Never mind how blue her lips were, or how pale her skin had become. Just napping.
The weight of her in his arms was greater than he remembered. He held her away from his body, as if her very touch would set fire to his flesh. He walked slowly, a thief approaching the gallows. Her small frame fit snug atop the pyre. Crisscrossing twigs surrounded the very top, and if he stepped back just far enough, he couldn’t see her.
“What do we do until nightfall?” he asked his wife.
“We make our fire,” Delysia answered, touching his arm.
I t was an Eschaton tradition, not an elven one, the business about the fire. Several years before, one of their original members, a wily rogue named Senke, had died in a pointless brawl in a tavern. They had buried him in one of Veldaren’s cemeteries, but they felt it appropriate to honor him in a way all their own. From this came the bonfire. Delysia, Tarlak, Brug and Haern all found an object of theirs, something valuable, and tossed it into a bonfire.
“Why must it be something so valuable?” Aurelia asked as it was explained to her.
“We had lost something dear that day,” Tarlak said. “But it was nothing that belonged to us. I threw my first spellbook into that fire. The hassle, the cost, and the annoyances to regain the knowledge I lost took a mere five months. Before that, I had thought it something I could never live without.” The wizard sighed. “It put things into perspective. Any possession is a possession. Senke was so much more, as was your daughter.”
They piled a few of the remaining logs that Tarlak had brought back next to the pyre and soaked them with oil. The wizard used a tiny spark, just a little magic, to get it burning. Haern was the first to go. He tossed his gray hood upon the flame.
“It is about time the scum feared my real face,” he said, watching it burn as if losing a part of him.
Brug was next.
He pulled out a pouch, shaking it a couple times so everyone could hear the rattle. Yanking the string open with a quivering hand, he spilled out four precious emeralds onto his open palm.
“I was going to make her a necklace,” he said, smiling briefly. “You know, for her birthday.”
He sniffed. Out went his hand, sprinkling the four into the flame.
“Probably would have been an ugly necklace,” he muttered, staring at his feet.
Delysia removed a small gold pendant from around her neck, one shaped in the outline of a mountain.
“I’m sure Ashhur knows you mean no disrespect,” Tarlak said as she tossed it upon the fire.
“He’d better.”
Tarlak’s laughter was forced, and did not last long. Into his pocket went his hand, coming out with a single scroll. He read its words, the scroll in one hand, his staff in the other. At the end, the scroll shriveled, and a great shimmer went across the staff. This done, he let it fall into the fire.
“Had to make sure it would actually burn,” he chuckled.
It was Harruq’s turn. He sighed, unfolding the bundle in his hands. It was the cape Delysia had made him for his wedding.
“Always thought I looked good in it,” he said. He felt his wife wrap an arm around him, and it gave him the strength he needed. He folded it into the fire, careful not to let it drop flat and snuff the flame. The fine material caught and burned. Aurelia looked around to the others, and then removed a thin silk cloth wrapped around her gift. It was a bouquet of flowers.
“Harruq gave me these a long time ago,” she said, looking at them lovingly. “I’ve kept them alive. I don’t know why I did, even then. But I don’t need to know anymore.”
She threw them into the fire. They were consumed. In silence, the group stood. They watched the flickering of the flame, enjoying the warmth and loathing the meaning.
“I don’t think I should be giving a eulogy,” Tarlak said. He glanced around, tucked his arms, untucked them, and then continued. “But someone should say something, and it always seems to be me that does. So I’ll do it again.”
He turned to the parents, their arms wrapped about each other’s waists for support.
“I’ve never been around a baby,” he said. “Never. The crying, the feeding, the constant yelling at you to take care of her, Ashhur spare me such a fate. But we loved her here. I was hoping one day she might grow up and, well, learn a little from me. I wanted to show her a thing or two, and be there when she cast her first spell. I’ve never had a student, but I’m sure she would have been a great one. I know you two loved her, more than us. My hurt, I’m sure it pales, but it’s there, and Ashhur help me should such a day as this come to my heart. But to Ashhur she has gone. He has always said the lives of children belong to him, and to each one he will open his arms and embrace. If Ashhur grants me the same welcome, the first person I’ll ask to see is that little brown-haired girl, to see how she’s grown. To see…”
He stopped to swallow, and then stared into the fire.
“Thank you,” Harruq said. “For everything.”
“We owe you two for all of it,” Delysia said. “For the time we had with her, on behalf of us all, thank you.”
Two tears, running twin paths down each cheek, lined Aurelia’s smile.
“You’re welcome,” she said.
“It’s dark enough,” the wizard said. “It’s time.”
H arruq demanded the task be his. He dipped a branch halfway into the fire, letting it heat and burn for several minutes until it was solidly lit. His heart in his throat, he turned to the pyre. The rest of the Eschaton surrounded it, their faces somber. He wiped his sniffling nose on his other sleeve and then, slowly, reluctantly, lit the fence of twigs lining the outer rim of the pyre. As it caught, he stared at the face of his daughter. The feeling was surreal, but he knew whatever it was that had made his daughter able to love, to feel, to cling to his leg and look up with an emotion purer than anything in the world, was gone from that body. For the first time, he saw her truly dead.
He dropped the branch into the fire, put his arm around Aurelia’s waist, and stood straight. He watched the pyre burn. He felt his wife’s head rest against his shoulder, and the wetness there he knew was tears. All about, the others watched in silence. Brighter and brighter the fire grew. Smoke poured up, first light, and then a heavy billowing shield, protecting him from the sight of that little angel, chubbier than most elven girls, taller, her skin soft and her smile innocent and wonderful, being consumed by the fire. No animals sounded in the newly come night, and it seemed even the stars watched in sorrow at that small flicker of flame.
Harruq swore upon the pyre to avenge the loss of his daughter. He hated the bitter feeling welling within, but he could not deny it, only succumb and feed the entity. Under red visions of rage, he imagined killing his brother, ramming his sword through his forehead, shoving every shred of pain he felt into a crimson blade drenched with blood. Vengeance. Gods help him, it was all that gave him comfort.
But for the first time the images broke, unable to stand beneath their horrid weight. He was not a monster. He was not what Qurrah thought he was. He leaned his neck atop Aurelia’s head, their arms holding each other tight as they swayed in the heat of the pyre. In his heart, he cast aside his vengeance.
“It’s all right,” he whispered. Aurelia did not know to whom he spoke. “It’s all right. We’ll be all right. Everything will be all right.”
She turned away from the fire and buried her face into his neck.
They stood before the flame for more than an hour. At last, Tarlak put a hand on their shoulders and led them back to the tower for the rest they so desperately needed. Delysia went as well, preparing their bed and doing her best to remove bits and things of Aullienna’s before they arrived.
