I do not mean him to suffer, Velixar heard. But this world is broken and dying, and there is naught I can do to stop it. But I will. One day, my faithful servant, we will end all their suffering.
The power ceased. He felt the child move. Eyes still closed, his magic wandered, and letting out a sigh he felt his spirit drop. The child moved, yes, but it was undead, just like any other corpse he had drawn from its grave. He let go of the child and stood.
“They could never love you,” he said to the squirming bundle. “Such a shame.”
He waved his hand, bathing it in fire. As the grave was consumed, he heard a noise from behind, like a soft cry of a bird. He glanced back to see Tessanna watching him, her mouth open, her eyes locked wide. There was no trace of sanity in them.
“Get out of here,” she said. “I will kill you if I see you again. You’re sick, and you’ve poisoned us all.”
“I only meant to help,” Velixar said.
“Fuck your intent,” she said. “Leave. Now.”
Qurrah stirred, and as he did, Velixar shook his head and left. The half-orc opened his eyes, saw the fire, then the chaos in his lover’s eyes.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“He was here,” she said. “Now he’s gone. And I’m glad.”
Qurrah pulled his arms free of her and stood. Pangs of hunger rumbled through him, but the thought of food nearly made him vomit. He staggered over to a nearby tree and leaned his arms against it, and with slow, labored breaths stared at the ground until his nausea passed.
“We’ll go to Veldaren,” he said. “We’ll go and demand our freedom, just as we were promised.”
“And if we’re not given it?” Tessanna asked.
“They’ll free me or they’ll kill me,” Qurrah said. “I won’t suffer any other option.”
Tessanna frowned but nodded.
“Help me to the creek,” she said. “I stink of sweat and blood.”
He more carried her than helped her walk. She winced when he put her into the water, but it felt good. It felt cleansing.
“Qurrah?” she asked as she submersed all but her head. “Is death really preferable over a life here with me?”
“That’s not what I meant,” he said, but he did not meet her eyes when he said it. She saw this and started crying. She dipped her head under the water to hide her tears.
It was another day before she was strong enough to travel. The time passed as if both were within dreams. The demons were gone. The armies were gone. There were only the sounds of the forest and the animals within. Deep in his heart, Qurrah longed for the days when it was just him and Tess alone in a small cabin in the heart of the king’s forest.
“What happened to those days?” he asked aloud as he dabbed his hand into the stream.
“What days?” Tessanna asked.
He only shook his head.
They traveled southeast, knowing when they exited the forest Veldaren would not be far. Slowly Qurrah realized where they were, and a strange thought came to him.
“The Eschaton tower,” he said as they walked hand in hand. “It should be near.”
“It is,” Tessanna said, her voice a complete drone. She had fallen into her apathetic self, and to Qurrah’s nagging worry, she seemed unable to come out of it. “We’re also near where we first made love. Aullienna died in this forest, and now Teralyn. So much has happened here. Do you remember the assassins we killed, the ones after Aurelia?”
“You were frightening and beautiful,” Qurrah said.
“I often am.”
They altered their path, and for the next few hours walked in silence. They were nearing the tower, a place that had once been their home. They had been back only once since Aullienna’s death, right before Velixar’s army had assaulted Veldaren and torn its walls asunder. It seemed a lifetime had passed, but as they stepped out of the forest the tower loomed before them, same as it had always been.
“Why are we here?” Qurrah asked as he stopped and looked at the tower, nostalgia tugging at his heart.
“Because we miss it,” she said. “Because we were happy here.”
“Happy,” Qurrah said, and he chuckled as if the mere notion were insane. “I’ve almost forgotten the feeling.”
“You knew it,” Tessanna said, grabbing her lover’s hand and holding it against her abdomen. “When you felt Teralyn move inside me. Is it so easy to forget?”
He kissed her cheek, again feeling vile and worthless.
“You’re right,” he said. “But not easy. Just far too hard.”
The doors were unlocked, and he opened them with dread lurking in the back of his head.
No good will come of this, he thought. Nothing.
He walked inside anyway, Tessanna holding his hand. Dust covered the couches and floors, the air thick and dry. Any other time thieves might have ransacked the place, but what thieves remained in the world? Demons poured into the conquered city mere miles away, all life sworn to them or extinguished.
They climbed the stairs. The dream-feeling grew stronger. They both knew where they were going. They both knew why they were there. Qurrah’s dread grew. Could he face what he looked for? Could he admit to the wound he had pretended healed years ago? At the top of the stairs there was a door, and behind the door, his brother’s old room. He pushed it open.
Aurelia had once cast illusions all over the place, carpeting the floor with grass and turning the walls to sky. The illusions had faded, so that the room appeared barren. The ground was a dull stone. The walls were gray. He walked past the bed to the small attached room. He felt Tessanna’s grip on his hand turn to iron. Aullienna’s room. The crib was gone. The whole room, empty. Qurrah stepped inside and fell to his knees. He remembered when he had first seen her. He had been angry at his brother for giving her an elvish name. So angry, he had refused to even touch the swaddled infant. He could hardly understand that anger now. The orcish blood flowing through him felt like a curse, one that haunted his life and tormented him with death and anguish.
“How did you ever forgive me?” he asked as Tessanna wrapped her arms around his neck. “I never understood, and I never let myself feel it. I always blamed him, I always…”
“Hush,” Tessanna said, kissing his neck. “Just hush. I forgave you because I had to if I still wanted to love you.”
“Could he ever forgive me?” Qurrah asked, staring at his hands as if they were coated with blood.
Tessanna leaned back. She wasn’t sure what she believed, what she wanted to believe, and what she simply feared. She had many answers, but she chose the one that scared her least.
“No,” she said. “He could never forgive you.”
The answer seemed to crush Qurrah’s body, but he nodded in agreement.
“You’re right,” he said. “I don’t deserve it. But he deserves better. For all his faults, he stayed true to me. I was wrong, Tess. He never abandoned me. I abandoned him. And I will make it right.”
Qurrah stood, and he clutched her hand.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I must find my brother,” he said. “Before it is too late.”
“You’re scaring me,” Tessanna said, at last a bit of emotion creeping into her voice.
“Because I am scared,” he said. “You don’t have to come with me.”
“Where will we find him?” she asked. “ How will you find him?”
“Their army gives chase,” Qurrah said. “They will lay siege to Veldaren in a desperate attempt to close the portal. My brother will be with them.”
She kissed his lips and then held onto him for dear life.
“I won’t leave you,” she said. “Long as you never make me, I’ll never leave you.”
Qurrah kissed her back but stayed silent. That silence was an arrow into her, but like all her pain, she hid it behind her masks, her apathy.
They slept at the top of the tower that night, huddled, broken, and so very close to dead.
