Not My Daughter

'No. But the names will come out.'

'This doesn't feel good.'

'Not to me, either,' Susan said helplessly, 'but can you think of a better plan?'

Chapter 11

The Zaganack town hall, a wide brick building with white trim, shared the south end of Main Street with the library, the police station, and the Congregational church. On its second floor were the offices of the school superintendent. His windows overlooked the church graveyard, which overlooked the tail end of the harbor. This late in the season, there were few pleasure boats in the water, but those that remained-sailboats with masts rising and canvas battened down, as well as the occasional fishing boat coming or going-softened the view of the cemetery.

In the past, Susan had stood at the window watching the water and expressing envy. How do you get anything done, Phil? If this was my office, I'd be too distracted to work. A far cry from the Great Plains, this view embodied much of what she had come to Zaganack to find.

Today she barely saw it. From the minute she entered the office, her eyes were on Phil.

When she was done explaining, he remained silent, elbows on the desk, chin propped on his fists. Finally, eyes sad, he dropped his hands. 'Have you known about the other two all along?'

Susan had expected the question, but that didn't ease her guilt. 'At first I thought it was only Lily. When I learned about the others, it was…' Stunning? Infuriating? Devastating? Unable to choose the right word, she said, 'This is a nightmare. I've been dealing with it on a personal level, and it hasn't been easy. I'd have told you everything before Thanksgiving, but at that point, no one at school knew about Mary Kate and Jess. Their families are my closest friends, and they're going through the same personal trauma I am. I begged them to let me tell you. One of them outright refused.'

'That would be Sunny Barros.'

Sunny often ran school fund-raisers and was known for discipline. Along with her husband's reputation as a law-and-order guy, stacked against easygoing Kate and Will, it was easy for Phil to guess.

His mouth remained tight. 'Well, we can't call it a pact. That's an incendiary word.'

'But it is a pact. We have to address it head-on.'

'Not using that word, please,' he ordered and suddenly lost his temper. 'Insecure girls, I can understand. Girls with no future, I can buy. Girls with no love, fine. But these girls? What is this about?'

'I've asked my daughter that a dozen times,' said Susan. 'She feels she has valid reasons-they all believe they do-and they gave each other courage. That's the thing about pact mentality-'

'Bah.' He cut her off. 'Forget pact mentality. Why are so many teenagers getting pregnant? Is it Hollywood?'

'Maybe.'

'Maybe? Open any of those magazines and there's a 'bump alert.' A bump alert-what a pathetic phrase. A bump sits and does nothing. A baby does not. Do these girls understand the reality of being a parent? Popular culture gives them the wrong idea, and apparently we've done nothing to change that.'

'Actually, we have,' Susan cautioned. If he wanted to attack her parenting skills, fine; she could find fault with them herself, in light of what her own daughter had done. But attacking her as a school administrator was unfair. 'Drugs, drinking, sex-we discuss them at every grade level, and we use what's happening in the news as an opening. We directly address these issues, Phil. The clinic nurse is always meeting with small groups to talk about things like safe sex and the pitfalls of early pregnancy.'

He seemed not to hear. 'So, was this a pact to imitate celebrities?'

'Don't I wish. That would give us something to talk about. But it isn't that in this case. These girls are close. They grew up supporting each other. They grew up seeing their mothers support each other. They decided that together they could do this.'

'They're too young to make that decision.'

'True. But we ask them to make other decisions. They drive; that involves making adult decisions. And these girls will be eighteen when their babies are born. At eighteen, they can serve in the army, carry guns, kill people.'

'Bad analogy, Susan. A soldier acts out of necessity.'

'But like soldiers, these girls adopted a group mentality. I'm not saying it's right, Phil. I'm just saying that's how it was. They were operating under a mind-set that made this doable.'

'And that's what I'm saying,' he shot back. 'It's what they see on TV. Who is making it okay to be single and pregnant?'

There it was. Susan raised her chin. 'I was single and pregnant.'

'See, that's a problem.' He waved a dismissive hand. 'Another is the fathers. We need them to come forward. That would give it a semblance of morality.'

'Talk about incendiary words,' Susan said, vaguely offended. 'Isn't responsibility a better one?'

'Call it what you want. I want the fathers to speak up.'

'The girls don't want them involved.'

'And the girls' families are okay with that?'

'No,' Susan said, feeling personally attacked, but she hadn't gotten to where she was by cowering. Her mother was right; she did have a fuchsia heart. When she was provoked, her high color came out. 'The girls' families are not okay with this. The girls' families are trying to decide what is the most responsible thing to do. Our girls made a pact. Part of the pact was that the fathers wouldn't be involved. No, I am not okay with it,' she said with rising anger, 'and I've told my daughter that, but would you have them drag those boys in front of us? Force them to be fathers, and you'll end up with teenage moms who are stuck in bad marriages and children who are resented from day one. I've been down this road, Phil. I could have married Lily's father, but it would have made for resentment. I don't want that for my daughter, or for her child.'

'You condone it, then?' he asked in dismay.

'No. I'm beside myself. I'm just trying to make the best of a bad situation.'

Phil was quiet, sitting back in his chair, studying her. Finally, he said, 'I'm disappointed.'

'So am I,' she shot back fiercely. 'I'm disappointed in Lily. I'm disappointed in Mary Kate and Jess. I'm disappointed in those boys for not using condoms despite what the girls might have said. And yes, Phil, I'm disappointed in myself, because a better mother might be able to read her child's mind, even when that child is seventeen. But if you're disappointed in me as principal, that's unfair. I've done a good job for you in the past two years, and there have been other crises. We've dealt with one student playing pharmacist in school, another hacking into his teacher's computer to steal exams. We've even had a teacher sending lewd e-mail to a coed. So this is a new challenge. I can handle it.'

'You were an unwed mother at seventeen.'

'And what about all I've achieved since then? Doesn't any of it count?'

He held up a conciliatory hand. 'What you've done since is remarkable. I'm just telling you what people will see.'

'Then we have to make them see something else.'

'How.'

Susan repeated what she had told Sunny and Kate. 'If we get accurate information to the adult community, they can pass it on to students. I'll be happy to run a draft of the parent e-mail past you.'

'Send an e-mail, and the Gazette will see it.'

'You know the editor. Can you pull strings?'

Phil snorted. 'To do what-hold him off? This is big news. The paper's out today, which means he has plenty of time to put a story together for next week's edition.'