Not My Daughter

yarn. I'd have my girls do small items, like socks or a hat, only this is a bad time for them in school.'

Same with Lily, Susan knew. Besides, Lily was working on something else that would likely take priority. Susan didn't want to think about that project, much less mention it to the others. 'I'd have time to knit a scarf, but that's it. Could you do a shawl, Pam?'

'Possibly, but Kate's right. Christmas is close. What about our freelancers?' PC Wool had a stable of women who knit for trunk shows and magazines.

'That might work,' Kate said. 'I have enough of them, and they'll want the money for the holiday, but I'll have to pick patterns ASAP. I was planning to see our designer in January. I could push that up. How many items do you want for the spread?'

'One for each colorway,' Pam said, 'preferably in different weights.'

'That'd be a lot of work for nothing if Cliff opts for the old tried-and-true.'

'A lot of work for nothing if he nixes PC Wool entirely,' Sunny muttered.

But Susan had to be hopeful. 'Maybe what Pam's trying to say is that if Cliff sees a more impressive finished product, he'll forget what's happening here.'

'Speaking of which,' Pam told her, 'I did talk with George. We had dinner with him last night. I said you were a fabulous principal and that he was wrong to suggest otherwise.'

'Will he print a retraction?' Susan asked, though she knew the answer.

So did Pam. 'He's prickly, not an easy guy to reason with.'

'Then his job suits him,' Sunny said. 'He can sit in his office and write unfair things without having to run them past anyone else.' To Susan, she added, 'You did not tell Lily to get pregnant.'

'But I didn't prevent it, so maybe I am to blame,' Susan said. She was still trying to make sense out of the public turnaround, wondering if she was the one who didn't get it. 'Lily is my child. At what age does a child become responsible for her own acts?'

'By law in the state of Maine, eighteen,' Sunny shot back, echoing what Susan suspected had come from Dan.

'Then I am responsible.' Acknowledging that brought Susan to the topic she really wanted to discuss with these friends. 'So am I a bad mother?'

'If you're a bad mother, we all are,' Kate mused. 'What does it take to be a good one?'

This was what Susan had been thinking as she had lain awake last night. There was no single answer, but for current purposes, one did stand out. 'Vigilance. A good mother watches her kids closely.'

'We do.'

'Apparently, not closely enough,' Susan went on, mocking her detractors. 'In order to have prevented these pregnancies, a mother would have to eavesdrop on her daughter's conversations, monitor her texts, hack into Facebook.'

'A neurotic mother does that,' Kate said. 'I refuse to. A good mother trusts.'

'After she teaches right and wrong,' Susan added, because teaching was her thing. 'But it's like riding a bike. At some point a parent has to let go, even if it means the child falls.'

'Training wheels,' Sunny trumpeted. 'They add structure. They help when the mom can't be there to hold on.'

Pam smirked. 'You can't keep training wheels on forever.'

'I know that, Pam. We're talking metaphorically. I've built training wheels into my kids' lives. Our home has structure. They know where snacks are when they come in from school. There's a chalkboard by the kitchen phone for messages. We have dinner at seven, and we start with grace. These are comforting things, things to fall back on. I am there for them.'

'You're not there,' Pam argued. 'You're at work.'

'Right down the street, a two-minute drive, one phone call away. And what about you? You're not sitting around the house all day. Does Abby know where you are every second?'

'No, but she can always reach me.'

'But you don't work. Do you think that's good for Abby to see? I mean, what if she marries someone who isn't as rich as Tanner? What if she needs to work? She'll have no role model.'

Pam smiled a little snidely. 'But she's seen you all. She'll do fine. Besides, I'm on the school board. And I raise money for charity. Being civic-minded is important, too.'

Sunny's face reddened. 'You agree with George Abbott. You think women who work aren't as good mothers as women who don't.'

'I never said that.'

'Come on, guys,' Susan cut in. 'Don't fight.'

'It isn't a fight,' Pam insisted. 'It's a discussion. I may not have a career like you all, and I am constantly made to feel guilty about that, but I am there every day when my child gets home from school.'

'And that makes you a good mother?' Sunny asked in dismay. 'You do agree with George.'

'Sunny,' Susan breathed, frustrated.

But Pam put a hand on her arm. 'It's okay. If she wants to attack me, she can. Deep in her heart she knows.' She gathered her things.

'Knows what?' Sunny cried.

'That training wheels are rigid,' Pam said as she stood and picked up her coat. 'Kids rebel against rigidity. I keep a good house, Sunny. I take care of my daughter. So maybe we have dinner at six one night and seven another, and maybe I'm in Portland when Abby gets an asthma attack, but I'm back in an hour. Don't confuse scaffolding with love.' She had her coat on.

'Don't leave,' Susan cried.

'Are you saying I don't love my children?' Sunny asked.

'I'm not helping,' Pam told Susan. 'You three have more to discuss than I do.'

'Oh, really?' Sunny cried.

'But you're part of this,' Kate told Pam.

'Am I? I'll call you, Susan,' she said as she set off.

With a frightened look at the others, Susan ran after her. 'Wait, Pam. I'm sorry if Sunny offended you. We're all supersensitive right now.'

'And I'm not?' Pam asked without stopping. 'Honestly? I have a stake here. My reputation's on the line. I've become known in the family for PC Wool, and now my brother-in-law may dump it from the catalogue.'

'Were his kids perfect?' All three were grown, but the stories lingered. 'His daughter got divorced eleven months after a huge white wedding. Does he ever blame himself or his wife?'

'Of course not. Corey was a difficult child all along.'

Susan had a sudden thought. 'She's the one who got the abortion?'

Pam stopped with one hand on the door. 'Where did you hear that?'

'It doesn't matter. But if it's true, shouldn't Cliff be a little more compassionate?'

'Cliff is a Perry,' Pam said with a sigh. 'I have to go.'

Susan let her leave. Only after watching the Range Rover head out of the lot, did she return to the others.

'She is impossible,' Sunny cried as soon as she was within earshot.

'So were you,' Susan said. 'Ease up, Sunny. This is hard on all of us, but if we don't try to understand what the other is feeling, we're lost.'

'She basically said I didn't love my children.'

'No. She simply said she loved hers. She was defending herself.'

'As well she should. Did I tell her how involved her own daughter really was? That would have been the honest thing to do, but I kept my mouth shut. That took restraint.'

'She'll find out about Abby,' Susan said, pouring herself coffee. 'Abby will tell her.'

'When? Five years from now? A lot of good it'll do then. Pam Perry needs to be taken down a peg now. She needs to make sure that PC Wool stays alive.'

Susan returned to the table. 'Exactly, which is why fighting doesn't help. Pam's heart's in the right place. That