Not My Daughter

Pam tucked a strand of hair behind her daughter's ear. 'You miss her.'

Abby didn't answer.

'Talk to me, please. I keep worrying that you'd have loved to be pregnant along with her.'

'It wouldn't have been bad,' her daughter said and stared, daring her to be scandalized.

Tanner's wife would have been, but, at that moment, she was Abby's mother, and very upset.

Abby looked away.

'Give her a call,' Pam suggested. 'I bet she'd love to hear from you.'

Abby shrugged. 'What would I say?'

'That you're sorry to hear about the baby. That doctors do amazing things. That if there's anything you can do to help, she should let you know.'

'How could I possibly help?'

Pam searched for ideas. She had thought loyalty came naturally to Abby, until her daughter had outed her friends. But charity was a virtue, too. 'Offer to drive her to school.'

'She's pregnant, and I'm a Perry. You don't want me driving her to school.'

'This problem with the baby changes things. It gives you an excuse to reach out.'

'Dad wouldn't be happy.'

'He wouldn't mind.'

'Like he wouldn't mind if you spend all day Saturday at the barn? Be honest, Mom. He wants you to distance yourself from Susan. He thinks things are going to get worse.'

Pam couldn't argue with that, but Kate's words were still fresh in her ear. Get off the fence! This might be a roundabout way. 'Think about Lily. She could use your support.'

'Well, maybe I'm a little angry at her, too. I mean, it was so easy for her to get pregnant-so maybe she deserves this.'

'You just said she was the kindest person in the world.'

'She is. But she's pregnant and I'm not. So what do I have in common with Lily?'

'School. Friends.'

'I'm leaving for college in August. She's staying here.'

'You can't IM or text? You won't be back every vacation? You will, Abby. You'll be back, and someday you'll have a baby of your own-'

'How do you know that?' Abby cried shrilly. 'Maybe I won't! Maybe I'll have some kind of fabulous career and be so busy that I absolutely won't have time for any of that. Don't plan things for me, Mom. If you're waiting to be busy with a grandchild, don't.'

Startled by the outburst, Pam managed a meek, 'I'm not waiting.'

Abby stared at her mother for another minute before turning back to her book with the whip of her ponytail, effectively shutting her out.

'I can't go to school,' Lily said the next morning when, hearing no sound, Susan went into her room.

'Why not?' Susan asked, though the answer didn't surprise her at all.

'I'm giving the baby a rest.'

'Like the baby is the one taking notes in class?'

'Come on, Mom. It's only a half day anyway.'

'That makes it perfect, then. Easy day, light exercise, no stress.' When doubt remained in Lily's eyes, Susan sat and traced the heart of the girl's face. 'I thought we put the field hockey theory to rest yesterday, but if not, please listen to me, sweetheart. Nothing you do'-she punctuated the words with her hands-'will hurt the baby. The doctor said you should do what you normally do. She said you need to be moving around.'

'I feel safer here. And I know my baby. He needs a rest.'

'That's you, Lily. You need a rest. And you'll get one starting at noon. But you've already missed two days of school this week.'

'Exactly, so what's half a day more?'

'Call it practice. Moms have to do things they don't feel like doing. You're scared, but you can't lie in bed for the next five months.'

'It may not go that long,' Lily warned, looking frightened.

'Upbeat, sweetie. Moms have to be upbeat.'

'You mean, say things they know aren't true, just to cheer up their kids?'

Susan made a wry sound. 'That would be a lie. This isn't. It's easy to imagine the worst, but why do we have to do that? CDH is treatable-and we don't even know he has it. Here's the thing. When you're up and moving, your little boy feels like he's in a warm little swing. It's soothing, don't you think? Besides, Mary Kate and Jess need to see that you're okay. They e-mailed me last night to ask how you were. You made a pact to do this together, sweetie. You have to answer their texts.'

Lily wasn't sure if her mother was being sarcastic. After having been so angry over the pact-so angry over Lily's pregnancy itself-Susan seemed to have accepted both. Lily didn't know if the turnaround would last, but she did go to school, and not only to see Mary Kate and Jess. She had an agenda.

First, she sought out the volleyball coach and resigned from the team. 'I know it's still okay to play,' she said, 'but if something bad happens to the baby, I'll always wonder.'

Second, she went looking for Jacob Senter. Pulling him out of the hall crowds between classes, she said, 'You're going to med school. I need a second opinion.' She explained what the tests showed. 'I know my baby will need treatment, but how will the treatment affect him? Will he be normal? Will he be able to play like other kids? Will this problem cause other ones as he gets older?'

Jacob looked alarmed. 'Uh…jeez, Lily, I… I don't know. I'm not in med school yet. I'm not even in college. I was wait-listed at Duke. Did Mary Kate tell you?'

Lily gasped. 'No. Does she know?' Realizing it was a loaded question, she rushed on. 'You'll get in in April. You're too smart not to. And you do understand medical terms. Maybe you could google CDH and give me your take?'

'I have to spend Christmas vacation writing college apps.'

'I have to spend it worrying about test results. This is life or death, Jacob.'

Cautiously, he asked, 'Is it that serious?'

'Surgery on an infant? I'd say.'

'Does this happen often? Is it, like, more common in moms your age?'

'You mean, is Mary Kate at risk? No. The odds would be totally against that.' Lily took his arm. 'But every pregnancy involves risk. You need to start talking to Mary Kate. She's stressed without you. That could hurt your baby.'

'She didn't ask if I wanted to be a dad, Lily. She didn't tell me what she was planning. Did she think I'd just go along? I mean, this changes everything!'

Lily was sober. 'Right. I want my baby born perfect, but it may not be. So now I have to do things I don't want to do, because that's a mother's job. Isn't it a father's job, too?'

The bell rang before Jacob could answer, and they had to run in opposite directions to make it to class. But Lily was barely back in the hall after U.S. gov when Robbie came alongside.

'What's wrong with the baby?' he asked.

Jacob must have blabbed. But Lily wasn't sure how much to say. Telling Jacob to talk with Mary Kate was one thing; they'd been together forever. Not Lily and Robbie.

'The baby's okay,' she offered tentatively.

'Sami Phelps says there's a problem with its insides.'

Lily stopped walking. 'Sami?'

'She heard you tell the volleyball coach that you couldn't play anymore. What's wrong?'

Lily might have asked what was wrong with Sami that she couldn't keep her mouth shut, except it was her own fault. She should have been more careful when she had talked with the coach. She supposed that if word would be spreading about this now, Robbie was the one person who really did have a right to know.

As they walked, she explained. He asked who her doctor was and when the next test was scheduled, but when he asked if he could go along, she refused. Robbie was the boy across the street who just happened to have