He mimicked, “Discretion… hmm, I like that.”
Then suddenly he lunged across the desk, grabbed my tie, and pulled me halfway across, with one hand, I might add. He said, “I like Yanks, otherwise, you’d be picking yer teeth off the floor right now.”
Then he let go.
I managed to get back into my chair, all dignity out the window, and waited.
He said, “I’m Jimmy Flaherty and some bollix has snatched me only child; he wants a million in ransom and say’s you are to be the go- between.”
He snapped his fingers and one of the thugs dropped a large briefcase on the desk.
He said, “That’s a million.”
I took his word for it.
He took out a large Havana and the other heavy moved to light it; he asked, “Mind if I smoke?”
He blew an almost perfect smoke ring and we watched it linger over the desk like a bird of ill omen till he said, “This fuckhead will contact you and you’re to give him the money.”
He reached in his pocket, tossed a mobile phone on the desk, said, “Soon as you can see my daughter is safe, you call that number and give every single detail of what you observe.”
He stood up; said, “I’m not an unreasonable man, you get my daughter back, and the bastard who took her, I’ll throw one hundred large in your direction.”
He’d obviously watched far too many episodes of
But reined it in.
I said, “I’ll do my best, sir.”
He rounded on me, near spat. “I said I liked Yanks, but you screw up, you’re dead meat.”
When he was gone, I opened my bottom drawer, took out the small stash, did a few lines, and finally mellowed out.
My mind was in hyper drive.
I had the score.
One freaking million and all I had to do was… skedaddle.
Run like fuck.
Greed.
Greed is a bastard.
I was already thinking how I’d get that extra hundred-thousand and not have Flaherty looking for me.
That’s the curse of coke, it makes you think you can do anything.
I locked the briefcase in my safe and moved to the bookshelf near the door.
It had impressive looking books, all unread, and moving aside
Tried and tested and of a certain sentimental value.
I’d finalized my divorce with it, so it had a warm history.
I headed for Sheridan’s house on the canal, stopping en route to buy a cheap briefcase, and when the guy offered to remove all the paper padding they put in there, I said, no need.
I got to the house just after two in the afternoon and the curtains were still down.
Sheridan sleeping off the Jameson.
I went round the back and sure enough, the lock was a joke and I had that picked in thirty seconds.
Moved the SIG to the right-hand pocket of my jacket and ventured in. This was the kitchen. I stood for a moment and wondered if there was a basement, where Sheridan might have put the poor girl.
Heard hysterical laughter from upstairs and realized Sheridan was not alone.
“Way to go, lover,” I muttered as I began to climb the stairs.
Sheridan as late afternoon lover had never entered my mind but what the hell, good for him.
I got to the bedroom and it sounded like a fine old time was being had by all.
Hated to interrupt, but business!
Opened the door and said, “Is this a bad time?”
Sheridan’s head emerged from the sheets and he guffawed, said, “Fooking Morgan.”
The woman, I have to admit, a looker, pulled herself upright, her breasts exposed, reached for a cigarette and said, “Is this the famous American?”
There was a half-empty bottle of Jameson on the table beside Sheridan and he reached for it, took a lethal slug, gagged; said, “Buddy, meet Brona.”
She laughed as my jaw literally dropped.
She said, in not too bad an American pastiche, “He’s joining the dots.”
I put the briefcase on the floor and Sheridan roared. “Is that it, fook, is that the million?”
He didn’t enjoy it too long; Brona shot him in the forehead; said, “You come too quick.”
Turned the gun on me and was a little surprised to see my SIG leveled on her belly.
Nicely toned stomach, I’ll admit.
She smiled, said, “Mexican standoff?”
In Galway.
I said, “You put yours on the bed, slowly, and I’ll put mine on the floor, we have to be in harmony on this.”
We we re.
And did.
I asked, “Mind If I have a drink?”
She said, “I’ll join you.”
I got the bottle of Jameson and as she pushed a glass forward, I cracked her skull with it; said, “I think you came too quick.”
I checked her pulse and as I’d hoped, she wasn’t dead. But mainly, she wouldn’t be talking for a while.
I did the requisite cleaning up and now for the really tricky part.
Rang Flaherty.
First the good news
I’d got his daughter back and alive.
Managed to kill one of the kidnappers.
Got shot myself in the cluster fuck.
The other kidnapper had gotten away.
And… with the money.
He and his crew were there in jig time.
The shot in my shoulder hurt like a bastard and I hated to part with the SIG, but what can you do.
Wrapped it in Sheridan’s fingers.
I don’t know how long we were there; Flaherty’s men got Brona out of there right away and I had to tell my story to Flaherty about a dozen times.
I think two things saved my ass
1… his beloved daughter was safe.
2… One bad guy was dead.
And I could see him thinking, if I was involved?
Why was I shot?
Why hadn’t I taken off?
I even provided a name for the other kidnapper, a shithead who’d dissed me way back.
He produced a fat envelope; said, “You earned it.”
And was gone
Four days later, I was, as Sheridan said, “In the wind.”
Gone.
A few months later, tanned, with a nice unostentatious villa in the South of Spain, a rather fetching beard coming in, as the Brits would say, and a nice senorita who seemed interested in the quiet English writer I’d now become; a sort of middle list cozy author persona. I was as close to happy as it gets.
One evening, with a bag full of fresh-baked baguettes, some fine wine, and all the food for a masterful paella, I
