“No. We get someone to bring the trunks over to storage, and then after the house sells, we put him back and say we just opened the trunks and found him.”
“Yes, but
“Simple. We were clearing the house out for showings. Nobody’s going to question that.”
“No, I guess not,” Maggie said, beginning to be persuaded; she had stored things when she had been staging houses before. “But before we decide to do anything, I need to make a call first.”
Brenda handed her the phone, and Maggie dialed and closed her eyes while she waited, preparing herself.
“Hello, Mrs. Dalton, it’s Maggie Fortenberry. I’m so sorry to bother you, but my partner, Brenda, and I are over at the house, and it appears we don’t have all the keys… and I was wondering… do you happen to have a key to the attic?”
“The attic?” asked Mrs. Dalton.
“Yes, ma’am, on the fourth floor… up the little flight of stairs?”
There was a long silence.
“Oh! I know what you’re talking about. No, I’m sorry, I don’t have a key. We were never allowed up there. Mother said those stairs were off-limits to us, and back then, what Mother said went.”
“Ah… well, do you know who might have a key?”
“I don’t.”
“I see. So, you don’t know what’s up there?”
“No, I’m sorry, dear, I have no idea. As I said, when I was a child, what Mother said went. Not like how it is now; back then, when Mother said, ‘Eat your vegetables,’ you ate your vegetables.”
“Well, no problem, but thank you anyway.”
Maggie hung up and felt a little better. The last living resident of the house had no idea there was a dead man up in a trunk in the attic. That was some good news. The bad news was that if they were going to move it, they had to do it tonight. In her excitement over selling Crestview, she had called and made an appointment with the building inspector to come first thing in the morning, and now that Brenda had knocked the door open, he was sure to go in and look around. This was one of those times she was going to have to make a decision and pray it was the right one.
The Big Caper
“It’s new.”
Brenda was surprised. Maggie usually had better taste in clothes than that, but she didn’t say anything. As they approached Crestview, Maggie turned off the headlights and drove up the driveway in the dark and parked. Inside, Brenda used her small flashlight to help them find their way back upstairs. When they got to the attic, they laid the blanket out on the floor, and Brenda reached inside the trunk and tried to pull the hanger out, but it was stuck. “It won’t come out. You’re going to have to help me.” Maggie closed her eyes and reached in and pushed aside some clothes to make more room, and it worked. But when Brenda jerked the hanger out of the trunk, they heard something drop.
Maggie asked, “What was that?”
“I don’t know, but we got him.” Brenda carefully laid the skeleton out on the blanket on the floor, and as she did, it made an eerie clacking noise. Maggie felt as if she might faint. Brenda then wrapped the blanket around the skeleton, picked it up, and threw it over her shoulder, where it rattled with each step. When they got outside, Maggie opened the car door, and Brenda put the bundle in the backseat.
As they drove to Vestavia, Brenda turned around in her seat and checked it out with her flashlight to make sure it was all right. All of a sudden, she frantically started flashing the light all over the backseat and then yelled, “Oh, my God.”
“What?” said Maggie, almost driving the car into a lamppost.
“You’re not gonna like this-there’s a foot missing!”
“What?”
“There’s a foot missing. We lost a foot somewhere!”
“A foot?”
“Yes. The thing only has one foot.”
“Are you sure it’s not on the floor?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Turn around. We have to go back for it.”
Maggie did as she was told, and the next thing they heard was a siren, and then they saw the blue lights flashing behind them. Brenda stopped breathing. Maggie pulled to the curb.
“Good evening,” said the officer.
“Good evening,” said Maggie with a big smile. “Is there something wrong?”
“Ma’am, do you know you made an illegal U-turn back there?”
“I did? Oh, I’m so sorry. But I just remembered something I forgot and had to go back and get it, and I wasn’t thinking about what I was doing.”
“May I see your license and registration, please?”
“Of course,” she said.
“Have you had anything to drink tonight, ma’am?”
“No, sir. I never drink and drive.”
As the officer was examining her license, Maggie continued, and said in a matter-of-fact way, “And I’m sure you must be wondering why there’s a skeleton wearing a Scottish kilt in the backseat, but there is a perfectly good explanation.”
At that instant, Brenda thought about jumping out of the car and making a run for it, but she was now frozen in her seat and couldn’t move.
The officer looked at Maggie and said, “Excuse me?”
“I said, I’m sure you’re wondering about the skeleton wearing a Scottish kilt we have in the backseat, but there’s a perfectly good explanation.”
“Oh, yes?”
“Yes. The Scottish Society had its big Halloween bash last weekend, and my friend and I are on the decorating committee, and we were just returning it.”
The officer shined his light in the backseat and saw the skeleton’s head sticking out of the top of the blanket. “Is that thing real?”
Maggie laughed. “Well… it certainly looks real, doesn’t it? But no, it’s just plastic. One of the members is a chiropractor, and he lets us use it as a decoration every year, and my friend Brenda just noticed that a foot was missing, and I was going back to get it-that’s why I made that sudden turn back there. I had that foot on my mind and, again, I am so sorry.”
“Well, I’m going to let you off with a warning this time, but you ladies be a little more careful, okay?”
“I will, and thank you so much, Officer. I really appreciate all the good work you do. I know your job is not easy, is it?”
“No, ma’am… it’s not easy.”
“Well, thank you again, and have a good night.”
Usually, if he had stopped someone with a skeleton wrapped up in the backseat, he would have been a lot more suspicious, but he figured the story was so crazy, it had to be true. And besides, he hated to give
