I Still Dream About You

6. You still don’t have to watch the news

7. You can watch Turner Classic Movies all night

8. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to

9. You are still alive!!!

Cons

When Maggie saw it all written down in black and white… no question about it, no matter what might be coming up in the future right now, there were no cons she could think of. She turned off the light and went to bed and realized for the first time in years, she was actually looking forward to another day.

THE FIRST THING the next morning, Maggie jumped up out of bed and fixed her tea and went outside to greet another beautiful spring day. It was so wonderful to look up and see Crestview. As she sat there, she reviewed her list; No. 4, “You don’t have to be nice,” stuck in her mind.

After she went back inside, she picked up the phone and did something she should have done years ago. When he answered, she said, “Hector? It’s your cousin, Maggie, from Birmingham, calling…” But before he could begin his usual greeting, she said, “I think you should know that it is extremely rude to make fun of someone’s home and their accent.”

“What?”

“Goodbye, Hector,” she said and then hung up and felt quite good about it. She had actually said what she had been thinking for years, and she didn’t seem to regret it one whit or even care what he thought. What a wonderful feeling that was. As she ate her waffles, she had another thought. While she was at it, she might just call that late-night television host and tell him she didn’t appreciate his ugly little remarks about beauty queens either.

But on second thought, she decided against it. She had the rest of her life to say exactly what she thought. There would be plenty of time for everything. How thrilling was that?

SEVERAL DAYS LATER, the most amazing thing happened. Maggie had run out to the cleaners to drop off a few things and was headed back to her car when she heard someone call her name. When she turned around to look, she saw that it was Jennifer Rudolph, who she had not seen since the fifth grade. After they hugged and chatted a moment, Jennifer said, “Oh, Maggie, I was always so proud of you. You are the most famous person I ever knew. I always brag and tell my kids I went to school with Miss America, and are they impressed.”

Maggie felt her old shame rising up and said, “Well, you know, honey, I wasn’t Miss America.”

Jennifer looked surprised. “You weren’t?”

“No, I wish I had been, but I was only the second runner-up.”

“Really? Oh well, who cares-you’ll always be Miss America as far as I’m concerned.” Then she laughed. “Honey, it’s like the Oscars; after so many years, nobody ever remembers who won, just who was nominated.”

After they said goodbye, Maggie was still amazed by what Jennifer had said. Jennifer clearly hadn’t cared, one way or the other, if she had won or not. Good Lord, had her not winning really been that unimportant? Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Wouldn’t it be a relief not to dread running into old friends again? She suddenly began toying with the idea of calling a few people just to say hello. A few years ago, the Miss Alabama people had asked her to be one of the judges in the state pageant, and she had declined; but maybe if they asked her again, she would reconsider. She might even go to the next ex-Miss Alabama reunion. Life was so odd; only two days ago, she had felt just like the last fox-trot on the Titanic… but today, it was full speed ahead!

More Revelations

Friday, April 24, 2009

THE DAYS FLEW BY, AND SPRING BECAME PRETTIER AND PRETTIER. Ever since that Easter morning, something had shifted a little for Maggie; a small shift, but still a big one for her. It had happened so gradually that at first she hadn’t noticed, but then one day, it suddenly dawned on her. That old gray dread that she used to feel when she woke up was not there anymore, and as strange as it seemed (for her, at least), she hardly ever worried about things anymore. And what a relief that was. Of course, nothing was perfect; she still had all the same old shortcomings that she had been struggling with for years. But in the past few weeks, Maggie had realized something that had never occurred to her before. She didn’t have to be perfect. Yes, she had made a lot of mistakes in the past and she would probably make many more in the future, but it wasn’t the end of the world. And okay, so she was still just a little bit stuck in the fifties. She enjoyed seeing reruns of I Love Lucy and hearing a pretty song every now and then. She still cried when they played the national anthem. Maybe she was too old-fashioned, but she still loved celebrating the Fourth of July and seeing the Thanksgiving parade and watching the same old Christmas movies on television each year… but so what? As she had found out the hard way, life was too short to be unhappy about anything. Hazel had been right all along. She’d said, “I don’t have time to be unhappy; I’m having too much fun being alive.” And Maggie agreed. She wasn’t thrilled about having to go back to the gym two days a week, but she had signed up for a cooking class that she was enjoying very much. She had taken up her harp lessons again and was learning the song “Blue Skies” in honor of Hazel. With so many new things going on, Maggie had mostly forgotten about her quest to solve the mystery of the Scottish twins. Even the unstoppable Miss Pitcock had finally been stopped. She had just faxed Maggie and informed her that she had reached the end of all available information in the British archives, or anywhere else in the world for that matter. Maggie immediately faxed her back and thanked her profusely for all the good work she had done.

MAGGIE WAS SURE that if Miss Pitcock couldn’t find any more information, there wasn’t any, but when Maggie got into bed that night, she found herself thinking about Edward and Edwina Crocker once again. Of course, now she would never know for sure who Edwina really was, but having seen her photograph taken at Buckingham Palace, and considering the uncanny family resemblance, she was convinced, birth certificate or not, that Edwina really was Edward’s sister and not his mistress as she had once suspected. Besides, now that she thought about it, Edwina never would have been given the title of Lady Edwina Crocker if she hadn’t really been a Crocker. The British wouldn’t have made a mistake like that in a million years. But still… it was odd that there was no record of birth for a person as important as Edwina. Oh well, it would just have to remain unsolved. Maggie rolled over and turned off the light.

At around two A.M., Maggie suddenly sat straight up in bed and said, “Oh, my God.” Why hadn’t she seen it before? It was as obvious as the nose on her face. No wonder Edward and Edwina had never been photographed together and Miss Pitcock had never been able to find a birth certificate for Edwina. There was no Edwina Crocker. There never had been. Edward and Edwina were the same person! Of course. The two sets of clothes in the trunks had both belonged to Edward.

At last, it all made perfect sense. Edward Crocker had been a cross-dresser. He had lived as a woman in London and as a man in Birmingham. No wonder he had never introduced Edwina to any of his friends. He couldn’t. Oh, that poor man. How Edward must have suffered all those years, trying to keep it a secret. Well, bless his heart, he needn’t worry about anyone finding out. His secret was safe with her. She didn’t need to tell anyone. But she did feel relieved to know that she was obviously not as dumb as she’d thought. She had solved the mystery of the Scottish twins. She had finally figured out the real story.

MAGGIE HAD NO way of knowing it, but she was dead wrong. That was not the real story at all. There had been only four people in the entire world who knew the real story: Angus, the father; a doctor; Nurse Lettie Ross; and, of course, Edwina. The only other living creature who knew the real story was the fly on the wall that day in 1884, when it all began.