equipment Blair had created and assembled, with his electronic expertise. He’d start to dismantle it tomorrow, thought the American, as he recovered; begin packing everything, in fact. They’d said he could pull out early, so why not? Reminded he called the duty clerk to ensure that the diplomatic pouch hadn’t gone and said he had a letter to enclose in it and could they wait. The clerk said there was plenty of time; there was some sort of flap out at the airport and all the planes were delayed anyway. Writing to Paul would help, Blair decided; something else that was normal. He always typed his letters, because his handwriting was so bad. He apologised to Paul for not replying earlier to his letters but said he had been extremely busy. The Moscow trip didn’t look like coming off now because unexpectedly he was being reassigned but that was great because at the moment it looked like Washington which meant they could see each other all the time. When he and John got to know Ann – and Blair underlined his conviction they were going to like her – they could stay over weekends and things like that. He was sorry about the Moscow vacation but thinking about it they might have found it dull, after a while. Ann didn’t like it all that much: in fact very little. To make up for Moscow, why didn’t they go away for a vacation in America? As a kid his own father had taken him on horseback and by canoe through a lot of the Grand Canyon. Why didn’t they do that, camping and stuff? Something mat hadn’t been available when he was a kid were the special flights out of Las Vegas, flying right along the Canyon. They could do that, if they preferred it. Why didn’t he talk it through with John and let him know as soon as he got back, which wouldn’t be long now? He sent his love to John and to Ruth, read it through and sealed it. As a test, to ensure he had recovered, he took it along to the duty clerk. The man repeated there was no hurry: latest news was that the airport was closed. From the man’s demeanour towards him, Blair was sure he’d passed his own test.
The door leading into the inner, top security room was steel-lined, of course, and fitted with a designation window into which coloured strips could be operated from the inside, indicating the degree of security applicable to whatever was going on inside. Crimson was absolute security, excluding even the ambassador. Blair locked the door – using all the devices – and although the embassy was empty put up the crimson code. He sat for a long time at the desk, staring at the electrical equipment he created but not really aware of the apparatus, deep in thought. Gradually, recovering further, he stirred, reaching back into the cabinet and taking out a burn-bag. He erected it carefully upon its tripod and with more care prepared the phosporus compound which operated upon contact with air and incinerated whatever was put inside. Satisfied, he went to the safe for which – for the last few hours – only he had the combination; they’d change it, after he left, giving Blakey a new one. There were a lot of tapes because as an internal precaution Blair installed nine listening devices in his apartment. Intention – at the time – was to have detected any Soviet entry, when they might have been away from the flat.
They were in those ridiculous matroyshka dolls sets that Ann seemed to like so much and in the light socket by the bed and again in the living room and every telephone was monitored, not in the instrument itself – which the Russians would have discovered attempting the inevitable bug – but back along the connecting wire. All were voice and noise activated, so the installation was automatic, feeding directly into the electronic equipment that Blair put into the office and which he intended to dismantle the following day.
The tapes were numbered and dated, because Blair was a ruthlessly methodical man. Tape one was recorded while he was in America the first time, when he’d been recalled for Paul’s initial problem. Blair picked it up and was moving towards the bag when he hesitated, changing his mind. Instead he slotted it into the machine and depressed the button, listening to the first dinner party that Ann and Brinkman had in the apartment. ‘ Christ, it hasn’t been bloody easy! ’ he heard Ann say. Then their meeting and their love – did she really think of him as all John Wayne and howdy? – ‘ Anywhere but here! If there were an embassy at the North Pole I’d happily swop it for here .’ Blair ran the tape on, sadly knowing the stop points. It was Brinkman’s voice. ‘ It’s allowed, for special friends.’ Blair snatched the tape from the machine and dropped it into the burn bag. There was a faint skein of black smoke and a brief acrid smell. The next tape was from the telephone, where the installation was better and the quality clearer.
‘ What are you doing? ’
‘ Nothing much. Nothing at all, in fact. Just sitting here. Thinking.’
‘ What about? ’
‘ I would have thought that was obvious.’
‘ Sorry. Stupid question.’
There’d been a lot of talk about regret upon the tape, Blair thought; he wondered if it were genuine.
‘ Sorry? ’
‘ Of course I’m sorry! Aren’t you? ’
‘ I don’t think so.’
‘ You haven’t got so much to be sorry about.’
‘ I don‘t think I would be, even if I had.’
The quality was slightly lower on the second section, because he’d been in the apartment then. The living room first: elsewhere later. Blair winced, in physical pain, at the bedroom sounds. And at the conversation.
‘ Don’t you think I’m a whore? ’
‘ What! ’
‘ A whore! ’
‘ Of course I don’t think you’re a whore.’
‘ What then? ’
‘ I think you’re lonely. I think you’re very unhappy. I think you’re looking for something you haven’t got: maybe can’t have. I think you’re very beautiful. And I think you are a fantastic lover.’
And more: hatefully – except that he couldn’t hate, only love – more.
‘ No, it isn’t a casual fuck. And it isn’t Romeo and Juliet, either. What’s wrong with you?’ and then quality improved, from her end at least, because it was the telephone again.
‘ It was Eddie. He’s coming home.’
Blair realised just how upset Ann had been, during that homecoming argument, when he’d announced he was staying on – ‘ You know damned well how I hate it here. How I’ve always hated it.’ But then, he’d lost his temper, as well. ‘ I don’t expect you to stay.’ Thank God she had: he loved her so much. So very much.
Brinkman had been right about warning her of talking on an open line, when she’d called the man at the embassy and told him of their row. And Ann had been so honest. ‘ Oh darling, I’m so unsure of everything.’
Suddenly impatient, Blair stopped reminding himself of the tapes, of the whispered telephone conversations and the bedroom sounds, abruptly discarding one after another into the destruct bag, stopping at one he knew better than all the others, the one he’d replayed over and over again.
‘ Do you love me? ’ Brinkman’s voice.
‘ I don’t know.’ Ann.
‘ Do you love me? ’ Brinkman.
‘ Yes, I suppose so.’ Ann again.
‘ What about Eddie? ’ Brinkman: awful, fucking Brinkman.
‘ That’s it! I love him, too.’
Blair had heard it so often that he didn’t think he could cry now but he did, not breaking down into sobs but feeling the tears move irritatingly down his face.
‘ You can’t love two people at the same time.’ The insistent Brinkman.
‘ Who says? Where are the rules that everyone obeys that say you can’t love two people? ’ A desperate Ann.
‘ You’re going to have to make a choice.’ Cocky, pushing fucking Brinkman.
‘ I don’t want to. I’m frightened.’ Poor, lovely, confused Ann.
Because everything was so carefully annotated, it was something other than a tape next in line for destruction. Blair gazed down at a piece of paper that the sad, nervous, knowingly sacrificed Orlov slipped to him in the Krasnaya Park, with Harriet Johnson’s telephone extension at the United Nations. It had been an impromptu, improperly thought-out decision openly to leave the copy like he had on the apartment desk because by then – what else – he’d known he had to destroy Brinkman. But still wasn’t sure how to hook him. Brinkman must have been desperate: certainly the questions seemed that way, a desperation not to have realised the impossibility of his ever having made a mistake like leaving around the most important part of an emerging intelligence operation. But then, Brinkman had other distractions. What a bastard the man had been!
Blair threw Orlov’s pitiful note into the bag and it was destroyed so swiftly that there wasn’t a wisp of
