The Hour of Dust and Ashes

the point? Everyone I care about would be gone. I might as well stay there.” His jaw flexed and I could see he was uncomfortable talking about the mortality of those he cared for. “We should get going.”

He took the lead this time.

I stayed quiet, mulling over his words and everything he’d gone through. He never had a life until he came to Atlanta. All those times his humor was off or he seemed a little schizo, or he steered me away from his past however he could … Now it all made sense. He’d been in my world for many years now, but he was still learn Atla to interact in human terms, learning all the subtle sarcasms and ironies and meanings of my culture. In projecting certain attitudes and behaviors, learning how to joke and make me laugh. I’m sure he’d taken his time learning about women as well, and according to Zara, he must’ve learned pretty damn quick in that department.

But I was glad Hank wasn’t the usual siren with a couple hundred years’ worth of notches on his bedpost. I was glad he wasn’t a jaded, narcissistic ass like a lot of male sirens I’d come into contact with. And despite all he’d been through, he brimmed with iron will, strength, confidence, determination … He’d certainly come into his own as a member of society, as a man—a damn good one, too.

18

Hank and I hiked for what had to be a few more hours at least. The stubborn grains of sand still lurking in my shoes had rubbed my heels raw. My aches and pains from the fall still lingered, but I was too tired to heal myself, too tired to care, and too emotionally exhausted to do anything except put one foot in front of the other.

Eventually, the ravine grew shallow. The direction turned north, so we climbed out to stay on an easterly track. The slant and the jagged rocks made it easy to grab footholds and handholds in the ravine walls. The sky remained clear of nithyn. Nevertheless, as soon as I made it out, I stayed down and turned to call for Brim, letting out a low whistle.

He circled below, whined, and then ran at the wall, his long claws digging in and propelling him up the rock.

“Good boy,” I whispered, patting his head.

I crept over the rocky outcroppings to where Hank lay on his stomach and dropped down beside him. The low gray sand dunes that greeted me caused a shudder to rush down my spine.

Across the sand, the dunes rose to another ridge that fanned out into a plateau littered with ruins. Moonlight shone over gigantic slabs of broken stone. A few intact columns jutted into the sky and practically glowed in the light. Others had fallen or were broken in half. A large Throne Tree grew on one corner of the ruins.

“Look,” Hank whispered, pointing up.

Three nithyn flew over the ruins, circling like vultures. One dove down and landed at a fresh nithyn carcass that looked like it had been torn apart. The handle of an axe jutted up from the dead animal. “Looks like Rex had his work cut out for him.”

“The nithyn are still circling. Rex and Bryn must have made it inside the ruins. We need to get you inside and through the portal.”

“Wait a minute.” I stared at his profile. “What do you mean, me?”

“Meaning if anything goes wrong, you go through that portal with or without me. If you’re not back in time to receive the sylph’s gift of fire, the other gifts will kill you. So what I’m saying is, don’t risk it.”

I hated this kind of talk. I started to say something to that effect and he stopped me. “I’m serious. You have a family, Charlie. That trumps everything else, including saving or waiting for my ass. I want your word.”

My family meant everything to me; he was right about that. But the fact that he didn’t consider himself important as well truly annoyed me—that and the rocks poking my ribs. “I think you’re failing to recognize one very important thing.”

“Enlighten me, then.”

“You’re my family, too.”

I meant it, but I couldn’t help but smirk because the times were few and far between when I could make Hank Williams utterly and completely speechless.

His mouth actually fell open. His irises shifted from sapphire to topaz blue as though he had no idea how to feel. His lips snapped shut and he looked as though he was about to make a comeback, but then frowned when he realized he didn’t actually have one.

I reached out and patted him on the shoulder. “Didn’t think of that one, did you, siren?”

I belly-crawled closer to the edge of the rocks. After a moment he joined me, his face a bit redder than before.

“Hank?” I said, a thought occurring. “Rex said to concentrate on a specific place when you go through the portal. That’s how you arrive at your destination. I want you to think of a place those sirens can’t find you. Don’t come back with me.”

He was shaking his head before I even finished talking. “I ran the first time because I was vulnerable and weak. I didn’t know how to defend myself. But that’s in the past, Charlie. I’m done running.”

“Oh, and then what? They take you and put you back in the grid? All because you’re too proud to run?”

His eyes rolled. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No.” I blinked, feeling confused. “I just mean it’s a bunch of them against two of us. By now they’ll know where you work, who your friends are, everything about your life. What’s so wrong with laying low for a little while?”

“Because they will always have someone watching my old life, that’s why. That means I can never come back. This time, I fight. For what’s mine. For the life I’ve made. I know what I promised Edan, but there are Malakim in those towers who don’t deserve to be there, and when they run out of steam, more children will fill their places. I kept that ring as a reminder. I’ve always known one day I’d go back and stop them. I’m not running away, Charlie. This time, I’m no child in a man’s body.”

I knew about making a stand. I’d done the same. I’d fought for my life. I’d fought to keep my daughter. I’d chosen to bring darkness to the city in order to save my kid. How could I lay there and convince him to not do what he thought was right?

“Fine,” I finally said. “Let’s just get back to the station. We’ll figure out something from there.”

He leaned slightly so he could reach out and flick the ends of my hair. He winked. “That’s better.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

He eyed the nithyn and the mile or so we had to run across the sand. “You ready?”

I let out a deep sigh “No. But when does that ever matter?”

“Before we go,” he said as I turned to him, “I think this is the part where we’re supposed to kiss before facing mortal danger.”

I blinked, flustered for a second by the change in direction. I was starting to suspect Hank took great pleasure in keeping me off-balance like this. “Says the guy who’s pretty much immortal,” I pointed out.

A boyish white smile broadened his face and crinkled the corners of his eyes. “Just admit it, Madigan. You like me. And saying so before we get ourselves seriously injured would be good.”

“Sure, what’s not to like?” I said flatly, rolling my eyes.

He frowned. “I am a siren. There is a difference between being into me and being into the siren.”

So which one was it? While I was the type of person who, no matter how gorgeous the guy, could be turned off by a shitty personality, a siren was a different story. Whether you wanted to or not you were lured in. So in that respect, Hank’s question had merit. And unlike most sirens I knew, he actually cared about the answer.

But more importantly, I saw the vulnerability in his words.

He wanted to be liked, not because he was a siren, but as a person, one who wasn’t as confident as he let on. One who never got a chance to grow his confidence naturally like the rest of us. One who’d been forsaken by his family, his race, and the girl who promised to wait for him.