'I made a mistake.'
'Yes, I think you did.'
'And it's too late to do anything about it?'
'God, Mitch, what did you expect I'd do when you came over here tonight? Welcome you with open arms? Ask you to move in? Call up all my friends and tell them I'm having a party for the man I love?'
'I really do love you, Jill.'
'I thought that before. And then you went right back to your wife.'
'It didn't work out.'
'She found somebody else again, didn't she?'
'Well…'
'Oh great, Mitch. You're on the rebound a second time?'
'Not on the rebound. It's done, it really is. I don't love her: I love you.'
'I need some more wine.'
'So do I.'
'This really makes me mad, Mitch, you coming up here this way. ''Good old Jill. She'll be there.''
'It isn't like that at all.'
'Oh no? Then why didn't you call before you came? I'll tell you why. Because I wouldn't have let you in, that's why. Right?'
'Well…'
'Right?'
'I suppose.'
'It just really makes me mad.'
'You said that.'
'Yeah, well, I'll probably say it a few more times before I kick you out.'
'I wish you'd calm down.'
'You do, huh?'
'Yeah, I do.'
'Well, I'm not going to calm down.'
'Oh, no?'
And that was when he took her in his arms.
And that was when he kissed her.
And that was when she felt all sorts of things she'd hoped she'd never feel again. At least, not with Mitch Ayers.
'You did a nice job.'
'Thanks.'
'It's really attractive up here. Looks like you've changed everything.'
'Just about.'
This was half an hour after their first kiss and twenty minutes after their second kiss and ten minutes after their third kiss.
She'd be all right for a little while, thinking how good it felt to be in his arms again and to kiss him, and then she'd erupt once more, think of how he'd dumped her, and then she'd go across the room and sit in the big armchair alone, which was where she was now. Mitch was across the room on the couch.
'So where's your wife now?'
'Ex-wife.'
'You're divorced?'
'We will be.'
'Just like last time.'
'You're not very good with sarcasm, Jill. A little heavy-handed.'
'You're not very good at keeping your promises. Maybe that makes us even.' She shook her head. 'God, I hate it when I sound like this. The Victim. I'm not a victim.'
'I know you're not.'
'I'm an intelligent woman perfectly capable of running her own life.'
'I love you, Jill.'
'The next time you say that, I'm going to get some kitchen matches and set your tie on fire.'
He laughed. 'Still crazy, I see.'
'Look who's talking!'
'I'm really nervous. Are you really nervous?'
'I'm beyond really nervous. I need a couple boxes of Prozac.'
'Even if you won't ever see me again, I'm glad I came over.'
'Well, I'm not going to tell you that I'm glad you came over.'
'You sure?'
'Positive.'
He smiled again. 'You're beautiful.'
'No, I'm not.'
'Well, you're very pretty then.'
'Pretty I'll accept. Beautiful, no way.'
'I prefer pretty.'
'This isn't working.'
'What isn't working?'
'You know, what you're trying to do to me.' She really did feel wretched. She wanted to throw him down the stairsand at the same time she wanted to cling to him, too.
'What am I trying to do to you?'
'Make me like you.'
'You don't like me?'
'Not anymore.'
'I'm really not trying to make you like me.'
'Then how come you keep looking so damned cute?' This time it was Jill who smiled. 'I hate you, Ayers. Do you understand that?'
'Then how come you're smiling?'
'Because I'm glad to see you, but that doesn't mean that I don't hate you.'
He looked down at his big hands. 'I need to ask you something.'
'Ask me what?'
He looked up at her. 'To forgive me.'
The playfulness was over. For both of them.
'I don't know if I can, Mitch.'
'Would you be willing to try?'
'I'd have to think about it. And I'm not just being difficult. I don't know if I could ever trust you again. You've been honest with me, so I'll be honest with you. I love you more than I've ever loved anybody, Mitch, but I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable with you again. I'll always be waiting for you to go back to your wife someday.'
'That's not going to happen.'
'Then maybe it'll be somebody else you'll leave me for.'
'Every relationship has risks, Jill. You know that.'
'I'd need some time to think. And maybe I won't want to go back, Mitch. Maybe I won't be able to go back.'
'I know, Jill. All I'm asking you is to think about it for a while.'
