“Thanks,” said Hester. “Want me to give you a second?”
“Yep,” I said. “About five, then go.” I headed at a quick walk around the right side of the house, toward the back door at the kitchen, where Toby had exited before. Huck looked confused, and started to follow me. Hester went straight for the front door.
As I passed Melissa, she said, “What are you doing?”
A reasonable question, considering. I held my finger to my lips. “Shhh, you should see in a second or two,” I said. “Just both of you stay back.” I continued, stooping so I wouldn't be seen from the interior as I was passing the windows on the south side of the house, and reached back under my jacket and pulled out my gun.
I noticed that Huck stopped at that, and that Melissa moved closer to her.
I reached the back door, just as I heard Hester's muffled voice say, “Toby, you're under arrest!”
The back door flew open, I raised my gun up at arm's length, and greeted the emerging Toby with “Freeze!”
He stopped so fast, he slipped on about the third step, lost his balance and fell over backward, grabbed for the rail, missed that, and slid down toward me like a little log in a chute. It all happened in the blink of an eye, and he was as shocked as anybody I've ever seen. He looked up at me, open mouthed, and tried to speak, but only managed to make a wheezing sound, while looking cross-eyed into the muzzle of my pistol.
Hester appeared at the top of the steps, also gun in hand.
“You were right,” she said. “Predictable.” She nodded toward him. “Check him, I think he has a knife on his hip, and then check out the hands,” she said.
I reached down, fumbled for a second, and pulled a folding Case knife from the sheath on his left side. I put it in my pocket, and looked at his hands. Band-Aids on three fingers of his right hand. Well, well. They were multicolored and had some sort of printing on them. I looked closer. “Buzz Lightyear?” I said. “Cool. What'd you cut your fingers on, Toby?”
Silence.
I glanced at his feet. Tennis shoes. Good so far. “Hold up your foot,” I said. He looked at me strangely, but did. The same pattern that I'd seen in the alley.
“Get up to your knees,” I said, “turn around so that you face the steps, and put your hands over your head.”
He did, still not speaking.
I put my gun in its holster, and pulled my handcuffs out of my back pocket. I took his left hand by the wrist, snapping the handcuff on, and pulled it down and to his rear. I grabbed his other hand, and brought it close enough to the other to slip a cuff on that one, too. I put one hand on his arm, and pulled him to his feet.
“You're under arrest, like she said,” I told him.
He spoke for the first time. “For what?”
The universal answer to my statement. “Burglary,” I said.
He then inserted his foot into his mouth. “I didn't steal anything,” he said.
I turned him around. “You have the right to remain silent… ”
“It must have been the old hag,” he said, swallowing his foot with that one. His attorney would probably call that a “statement against interest.” But old Toby apparently felt compelled to speak, no matter what. That's a fine trait in a suspect.
We took Toby directly to my car, past the astonished Huck and Melissa, and put him in the backseat.
“Watch your head, Toby,” I said, and shut the door. Hester motioned toward the porch. The four remaining residents were all standing on the porch, looking down on us.
“And then,” said Hester, sotto voce, “there were four.” She motioned me up toward the front of the car, and well out of Toby's possible hearing. “I don't know how to ask this,” she said, “so I might as well come right to the point. Are you sure we had a burglary? I was thinking about that when I confronted Toby in the kitchen just now. Doesn't the code say you have to unlawfully enter a premises, with 'the intent to commit a felony, theft, or assault'? For a burglary… ”
“Hmm.” She was right in her quote, of course. It was felony, theft, or assault. The question being, was mutilating a corpse a felony? “Well, we may have just made a very strong trespassing arrest,” I said. “Very strong.”
“I mean,” she said, “sticking a stake in a corpse damned well should be a felony, but I don't know if it is.”
“It may not even be illegal,” I said. “It may never have been considered in Iowa before this.” I don't mind being near the leading edge, but I dearly hate breaking new ground. But, realistically, how many times could it have come up in Iowa before today? I knew it was illegal to exhume, but poor Edie wasn't even buried yet.
“This could be another very long day,” I said.
“Where are you taking him?” came a loud voice from the porch. It may have been Melissa, but by the time I looked, I couldn't tell.
“Jail,” I said, as loudly. Just to be polite.
“Tell him,” said Kevin, “that we'll call his attorney.”
Hardly necessary, at that point. Veiled threat?
“Will do,” I called back, got into the car, buckled up while Hester leaned back and buckled Toby in, and we were off.
I picked up the mike. “Comm, Three.”
“Three, go.”
“PBX One, advise him we have a suspect in custody, and are ten-seventy-six the jail.” I'd told Lamar I'd let him know right away.
“Ten-four, Three. He's called twice, and will have your assistant go with the seventy-nine to the location.”
Now, that might have sounded kind of cryptic to the normal person, but anybody with any savvy now knew that a coroner or medical examiner was going to a scene, that the boss had called twice, and that my assistant was being called out. I had to admit, though, that even I was thrown by the last bit. I didn't have an assistant.
“Uhh, Comm, Three?”
“Three?”
“Ah, who's my assistant this week?” As soon as I said it, I knew she had meant Borman.
“Eight.”
Borman, all right. Well, we'd see if this examination of a mutilated corpse would get his act on track.
“Ten-four, Comm.”
Toby was quiet for about the first quarter mile, and I was starting to get worried. As it turned out, I shouldn't have been concerned. His tendency to talk overcame all caution.
“It had to be done,” he said.
“Toby,” said Hester, “let's not discuss it. You've been advised of your rights, and we'd feel a lot better if you waited until you had an attorney present.”
That was partially true. Sure, we'd like Toby to rattle on, but we had the old problem that, even if he said he waived his rights to the attorney, we could lose a suppression hearing later. If that happened, everything he said, and everything we'd found out based on that, could be ruled inadmissible. It happened just often enough to make us very leery about questions without attorneys there. I mean, we knew we'd be right, but that sometimes did very little good in court. There, it came down to the briefing and arguing abilities of two attorneys. We would have nothing at all to say about that. This was, well, safer, I guess.
It was also pretty damned prudent, because the more I searched my memory, the more convinced I became that there was no statute on the Iowa books about mutilating corpses.
Toby, thwarted in his first attempt to enlighten us, switched to philosophy.
“It doesn't make any difference, anyway,” he said. He fidgeted.
I glanced at Hester, who was half turned in the front seat, to keep an eye on Toby since we had no cage in an unmarked car, gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head. Keep quiet, Carl.
I did, and so did she. That bothered Toby, who began to tap his feet against the back of her seat.
“Well, it doesn't, does it? Make any difference. I can't make any difference. You can't make any difference.” He couldn't quit.
