“I was going to say levelheaded. Naomi’s in a place that’s hard to understand unless you’ve been there, and I think she knows that.” He looked toward her driveway. “She may not even want to talk to me. But I’ll try.”
“When?”
“How about tomorrow? We’ll tell her you have plans after school, and I’ll ask her if she wants to hang out at Cafe Mars or something.”
“Why can’t I come?”
“It’s better if I talk to her one-on-one—trust me. The members of my old band talked to me all at once, and it felt like a fucking intervention. Didn’t go over real well.” He looked down at his feet. “To say the least.”
“Oh.” The idea of Justin and Naomi going out alone bothered me. I felt left out of something important, but I wanted Naomi to feel better. “Isn’t telling her about your past going to be hard?”
He exhaled, studying my face. “It was harder telling you.”
I hugged myself tighter. What was that supposed to mean?
“Can you have your mom pick you up?”
My stomach tensed. “She has to work. It’ll have to be Grandma.”
“Hey, come here.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. The copper hue of streetlights shone in his eyes. “I’d much rather have you there.”
I looked away, unsure of where to put my hands. On his shoulders seemed too much like dancing. And I definitely wasn’t going to grab his butt.
He tilted my chin upward and ran his thumb along my cheek. I slowly met his stare again. He smiled and kissed me. My head spun and my knees shook, but somehow I managed to stay upright. His tongue brushed against mine, and I pushed back, wondering if that was what he wanted. The whole idea of mingling tongues baffled me. When he paused, I figured I’d done something wrong and pulled away.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Why?” he whispered and tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear.
“I don’t know how to do this, okay? Naomi is the only other person I’ve kissed. And it wasn’t like this.” I looked away again, wanting to smack myself. Now he knew everything. But at least he was almost as clueless in the romance department.
“It’s different with every person.”
“You’ve only kissed that one girl, right?”
His smile faded. “Does it matter?”
“Yes.” Because I hated feeling like such a dork.
“I’ve kissed a few people.”
“How many?”
He let go of my waist. “I didn’t keep a tally, Drea.”
“I thought you were more like me.”
“We’re a lot alike. We’re both stubborn geeks with superb taste in music.” He reached for me.
I backed away.
His head tilted back, like he was searching the stars for answers. Too bad it was cloudy. “I’m far from perfect, Drea. So if you want to walk away right now, I don’t blame you. But I really like you. Everything about you.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but every question I had blurred together in a mass of gibberish.
He leaned over and gave me a quick hug. “Just let me know what you decide.”
It wasn’t until after he drove off that I found the words. I stood frozen for a while, letting the drizzle melt into my cheeks, and they came to me. Simple, but more truthful than anything else I could say.
Thank you.
IT WAS OFFICIAL. Rummaging through dusty boxes at seven A.M. on a Saturday stunk.
Mom hummed “Bus Stop” and grinned like a kid discovering a secret attic. Don, the dentist, was picking her up at nine and whisking her off to the San Juan Islands for a romantic weekend.
“Do you realize we can get a hantavirus and die from breathing in mouse turds?” I asked her.
She rolled her eyes and unwrapped some figurines. “It’s just dirt, Drea.”
I adjusted the flimsy breathing mask I’d found in Grandma’s closet. We sat in her freezing garage, placing various items on fold-out tables. Grandma would poke her head in every ten minutes or so to decide whether or not to sell them.
“Craigslist would be much easier. Who actually goes to garage sales anymore?”
Mom smiled. “People like Grandma. What’s really bugging you today?”
I flipped through an ancient calendar and shrugged. Justin had said about three words to me yesterday. I didn’t get a single moment alone with him because we had a quiz in English, and Naomi spent lunch planning a move to New York City. Neither of them called me last night.
“Grandma said she had to pick you up from school yesterday. How come?”
“Justin took Naomi out so he could talk to her about stuff.”
