selfish, stupid girl.
I threw my lunch box against the lockers, watching it explode open and fall to the floor. One of the pennies twirled for a few seconds. Almost like it was laughing at me. I crushed it with my foot and left the box where it fell. She might as well take it all. She obviously needed it a lot more than I did.
Justin asked where my lunch box was after film class. I didn’t want to talk about it. He put his hand over mine when we got into his car.
“Will seeing my Bosendorfer cheer you up?” he asked.
I nodded. “Will your family be there?”
“My sister will be. She wants to meet you.”
I stared out the window. Justin playing a real piano. It sounded like the perfect date, minus the whole meeting-strangers bit.
“Is Naomi coming to practice tomorrow?” he asked.
I shook my head and bit down on my tongue. Just hearing her name made me shrivel inside. We went up to Magnolia Street instead of Holly.
He looked over at me when we hit a red light. “What happened, Drea?”
I watched a group of skateboarders collide in a Quickie Mart parking lot. One of them had purple hair like Naomi. No matter where I looked, I couldn’t get away from her. Or the sick feeling lurking in my stomach. So I told Justin, hoping he’d have some magical answer.
He didn’t. We rode in silence until we pulled up in front of his house. It was a small, one-story deal on the south side of town. White paint. Black shutters. I guess it kind of fit him.
He gave me a long hug after we got out. We stood on his curb for a while, barely moving.
“What did I do wrong?” I asked.
He kissed the top of my head. “Speed makes people crazy. When I did it, I loved the world one minute and hated it the next. I had no control over what I did or said sometimes—at least it felt that way. Sometimes I wanted to tear everything apart.” He backed away from me. “Naomi likes you, despite what she said. Chances are she won’t even remember tomorrow. That’s the fucked-up part.”
“But I’ll remember.”
“Come on,” he whispered, pulling me down a long driveway. It led to a white structure that I assumed was the garage. But he unlocked the side door and let me in first.
A shiny black piano was the first thing to greet me. It loomed in front of us in all its statuesque glory, itching to be played. The cement floor was covered with large rugs. The kind with kaleidoscopic patterns. Shelves of CDs and books framed the room, and a queen-sized bed with tousled blue sheets sat in the corner.
“Reminds me a little of my basement.”
“Yeah. It was the garage, but my brother-in-law renovated it. It’s not quite finished yet.” He motioned to the floor. “They’re renting it out to me.”
I walked toward the piano and admired the pristine keys. “They didn’t want to park in it?”
He brushed past me and sat on the bench. “They want to turn it into an art studio—eventually.”
I scanned the black-and-white photographs lining the walls. They were images of odd things like bridge beams, rusty barns, alleyways, random body parts, and melted ice cream. “I didn’t know you were into photography.”
He looked around the room and shrugged. “I didn’t go anywhere without a camera my freshman year. But I haven’t taken any in a while.”
“You should start up again. I like them.” I bit my lip. It was weird being alone with him in his space. Yet somehow my problems stayed outside his door. I felt safe in here.
He smiled at me. “I’d like to. Have a seat anywhere. I’ll play you something.”
I had to decide between a black beanbag and the bed. The beanbag was closer and just my size.
He began playing as my body melted into the Styrofoam. The acoustics in the garage weren’t half bad. It almost felt like we were in a mini concert hall. His notes inched through my skin and warmed me to the bone. He wasn’t kidding. The difference between a
I curled up on the bag, closing my eyes. The only thing missing was Naomi’s voice. But I put the thought aside and got lost in my daydreams. Most of them involved kisses, nature hikes, and traveling to unknown destinations. Maybe in a clunky tour bus.
“Hey,” he said after two songs. “Did I put you to sleep?”
I opened my eyes and nearly laughed at his pout. “No, you took me somewhere else.”
He walked over and kneeled in front of me. “Want to tell me about it?”
I shook my head. “It’s a secret.”
He leaned over and kissed me. We’d made out almost every day, and I liked it more every time. Even the sore lips and the dehydration. But our clothes stayed on, and his hands avoided my chest area. Part of me really wanted to do more, and another part was terrified of it. What if I hated how it felt? What if he hated how I felt? I barely had boobs, compared to most girls.
Justin pulled back and sat on his heels. “We should go say hi to my sister.”
I got up and attempted to smile. Obviously, I didn’t do a good job because he touched my cheek and told me not to worry. His sister trusted his judgment.
