Midnight Sins

She wanted to stomp her feet on the floor like a child and rage against fate, life and the unfairness of aching for a man she couldn’t have. Because having him meant losing herself in him and she couldn’t allow that to happen again, if she wanted to live in her hometown.

Other women could have affairs with married men, cheat on their husbands, or have more than one lover at the same time. She, on the other hand, couldn’t even have the man she dreamed about the most. The one who kept her heart racing and her pussy so wet she was going to have to change panties. She couldn’t do it because she didn’t have the emotional distance to survive if anything happened to him.

A sigh fell from her lips as she closed her eyes briefly. Other women knew how to love and still retain their souls. She didn’t know how to do that, it seemed. As for her panties, she realized she didn’t have to worry about changing them because she had forgotten to put them back on after they had dried hanging over Rafer’s shower.

“You’re the only one who calls me Rafer.” The remembered sound of the husky quality of his voice had her heart rate increasing, had it pounding fiercely. The sexual implications in the deep rasp of his voice had a burning, soul-deep response tearing through her system.

Yes, she was the only one who called him Rafer.

Even Jaymi had been amused by the habit Cami had of calling him by his full name.

It was more intimate. No one else called him Rafer, just her. It was a part of him that was only hers, because he refused to allow anyone else to use the name. And Cami allowed no other man to touch her.

Her experience at being a lover was confined to the few nights she had spent with Rafe over the past six years. so infrequent had been the times they had come together. She had been a virgin that first night, and she might as well have been a virgin the night she knocked on his front door.

The phone rang again.

Lifting it from between her breasts, she couldn’t help but smile despite the trembling of her lips and the tears that filled her eyes.

Rafer Samuel Callahan. The caller ID displayed his name clearly.

With fingers that shook more than her lips did she added the contact to the cell phone’s address book the minute the ringing stopped. She was determined not to answer, not to hear his voice again, not to weaken and beg him to hold her again.

She was going to hear it enough in her dreams, and the torment of it would drive her insane for months.

Or longer.

He was living closer now, she thought. It wasn’t as though he were half a world away and inaccessible. He was here, in Corbin County. And he wanted her.

She could go to him. She could take what she wanted if she could just be strong enough to forget her own past mistakes. That was the problem. It wasn’t shame or fear of the county’s condemnation. It was her own condemnation she had to worry about. And she should have proven that beyond a shadow of a doubt before she left the ranch.

Her family would turn their backs on her once they learned of that kiss or at least her father would. But he had turned his back on her years before. Her mother was dying, and if she learned of it, then she wouldn’t exactly die hating her younger child. Her mother was able to process very little information now. Alzheimer’s and a stroke had all but erased the loving, gentle mother Margaret Flannigan had tried to be whenever her husband wasn’t around. She was the only person whose opinion Cami really cared about anyway, and her mother barely even recognized her anymore.

If Cami could only figure out why everyone hated Rafer and his cousins. She could show her father the injustice of what they had suffered — no, that wouldn’t happen. There was no compassion left in her father after Jaymi’s death.

Cami gave her head a hard shake. No, he wouldn’t care because it would only be an excuse. What she hadn’t considered while allowing Martin Eisner to see her kissing Rafer was the fact he would tell Mark Flannigan as soon as possible. When he did, Mark would use the excuse to ensure he never allowed Cami to see her mother again.

* * *

“Something’s wrong,” Rafe said quietly as he, Logan, and Crowe sat in the black SUV he had driven into town to check up on Cami and make certain she had gotten home. He hadn’t been able to shake that foreboding or his need for her.

It was probably that returning hunger continuing to spark the warning he needed to check on her.

“No one’s in there,” Logan said from the seat as Cami closed the heavy curtains covering her bedroom window. “You can see straight through that house until she closes the curtains. Besides she’s acting too calm.”

It was the truth. The two-story home was open and inviting, and clearly visible through the pristine, sparkling windows.

Who had windows that clean? It was damned scary. And as he said, Cami appeared too calm and comfortable to be frightened of anything.

“I didn’t say someone was in there; I said something is wrong,” he reminded his cousin. “There’s a difference, Crowe.”

“Let it go, Rafe,” Crowe stated softly. “Let’s head back to the ranch and see about installing the last of those cameras before we head up the mountain tomorrow to take care of mine. Logan’s is next and I’d like to have this finished and tied into the DVR on the master control before we head to that lawyers’ meeting in Colorado Springs next week.”

They had been installing the cameras at night, when it would be harder for anyone to watch what they were doing or to pinpoint the hiding places they had chosen for the electronics.

Rafe blew out a rough breath as he slid the vehicle into gear and pulled out onto the street. He should have gone to the door, but he knew that pushing Cami wasn’t going to get him what he wanted. Besides, he wanted her to come to him for a change. Just once. Just a single instance where she accepted her need for him and made the first move. A move other than allowing her car to slide into a ditch at the entrance of his property.

He needed her, too — willingly, deliberately, without any excuses — to reach out for him. He wanted her to admit it to herself. Because he’d be damned if he would allow her to hide from it much longer. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to allow her to return to a few stolen nights here and there because they couldn’t fight the need any longer.

He had grown damned tired of having his lovers hide their relationship with him twelve years before. He’d had enough of it with Jaymi and the lovers he’d had before her in Sweetrock. And these stolen nights with Cami had eaten at him, because he was certain she had slipped out at dawn out of shame.

He’d be damned if he’d let himself be treated like a dirty little secret by Cami.

“Are we sure we want to go through with all this?” Logan asked lazily from his seat in the back. “You know if we go through with these plans it’s going to cause a hell of a battle with the barons.”

Rafer couldn’t help but grin at the comment. How many times had some of the larger resorts attempted to come in and buy the land around Crowe’s mountain? The deep white water that branched off from the Colorado River and ran through streams and tributaries until it began flowing through the deep boulder-strewn ravines through the mountains was perfect for white water rafting.

The mountain itself with its natural breaks and paths was perfect for skiing. The land was filled with wildlife and could easily support any hunting activities required.

That had been their parents’ dream. The three couples had spent years planning for the day the wives came into their trusts at their thirtieth birthday. It was then Crowe’s Mountain and the adjoining Breaker Valley and Rafferty River Run area would have become Callahan Holdings. From there Crowe Mountain Resort would have been born.

Just the thought of the pure rage the barons would have was enough to almost bring a grin to Rafe’s lips. Damn, the explosion would be heard in China when they learned that the grandsons they had disowned would carry out their parents’ dreams.

“Now’s the time to back out if you don’t want to be a part of it, Logan,” Crowe warned him.