The Boyfriend List

Ariel, because she’s dating Shiv, slammed into me so hard in the refectory line that my shoulder got bruised. “Ooh,” she said loudly, “I guess I wasn’t thinking about other people’s feelings.”

Michael from Geometry leered and waggled his eyebrows, then passed me a note that said, “You’re on my list too.”

Chase Hilgendorf said hi to me in the hall, then cracked up laughing.

In class, Finn growled at me under his breath: “You’ve made everything worse, you know.”

“What?” I asked.

“Why would you go and do that?” he whispered. “You know what Kim’s like when she’s mad.”

“I didn’t write it for everyone to see,” I started to say—but he turned away from me and wouldn’t talk anymore.

It went on like this all week. I went from being just a leper to being a leper and a famous slut.¹⁰ By Friday, the girls’ bathroom in the main building had a ton of anti-Roo graffiti.

“Who does Ruby Oliver think she is?” (This in Kim’s writing.)

“Mata Hari.”

“Pamela Anderson.”

“God’s gift to the male sex.”

“Ruby Oliver is a _____ (fill in the blank).”

“Lousy friend.”

“Fantasist.”

“Slut.” (Kim again.)

“Ho. Remember? We can’t say slut anymore.”

“Trollop.” (Kim.)

“Hussy.”

“Tart.”

“Chippie.”

“What is that boyfriend list? Your interpretation here.”

“Guys she’s blown, in order of size.”

“I hear she goes on her knees behind the gymnasium.”

“Guys she’s done, in order of conquest.”

“Guys she’s done behind other girls’ backs.” (Kim.)

“Do you think she really did Noel DuBoise? Who has he gone out with, anyway?”

“Do you think she really did Hutch? Gross.”

“Maybe he’s an acquired taste.”

And in Nora’s round printing: “Come on, ladies. She may be a lousy friend, but doesn’t everyone make lists of boys they think are cute? That’s probably all it is.”

“I hope she’s using birth control.”

“I heard she might have an STD.”

“Do you think she gave it to Billy A? He’s so hot.”

“Billy Alexander keeps condoms in his back pocket.”

“So does Cabbie.”

“Big deal if she did Cabbie. Hasn’t everybody done him by now?”

“It’s still skanky.”

I tried to wash it all off with a wet paper towel, but you could still read it with no trouble, especially the parts in black Magic Marker. I borrowed a scrub brush and some spray cleaner from the janitor’s closet and was down on my knees trying to get it off when Kim came in.

It was the first time I’d seen her alone since she started going out with Jackson. She ignored me and started putting her hair up with a barrette.

“You made that Xerox, didn’t you?” I said.

“What if I did? People should know what kind of person you are.”

“And did you start all this on the wall?”

“No.” She kept fixing her hair.

“You didn’t?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“I know your writing, Kim.”