He sighed and abandoned his search for Mobius. There had been that in her tone which commanded his attention. What is it, Ma?
What is it? (He could picture her frown.) Is that how you speak to me, Harry?
Ma, he sighed again, and tried to explain, I've been busy. And what I'm doing is important. You don't know how important.
Do you think so? she answered. Do you really think I don't know? But who knows you better than me, Harry? Well, I know this much, anyway — that you're wasting your time!
Harry's dreaming mind played with her words and found no explanation for them. Nor would he unless she was willing to supply one. She picked that up at once and flew at him in the closest she'd ever come to a rage. What!? And would you take that attitude? Would you take your impatience out on me? Well, the dead might prize you, but they don't know you like I do. And Harry, you… are … a… trouble!
Ma,I —
You, you, you! Always you! And are you the only one? Who is this T you're always mentioning, Harry? And why is it you never speak of 'we'? Why must you always think you're alone? Of all men you are not alone! For a million years men have died and lain silent in the dark, thinking their thoughts and following their solitary designs, each separate from the next but joined in the belief that death was an airless, lightless (oh, yes, and painless too!) but relentless prison… until a small bright light named Harry Keogh came along and said: 'Why don't you talk to me? I'll listen. And then you might like to try talking to each other!' Ahhh! A revelation!
Harry remained silent, didn't know how to answer. Was she praising or chastising him? He had never heard her like this, not even when he was awake. She had never been so angry. And his Ma picked that up, too.
Why am I angry? I don't believe it! For years you couldn't speak to me if you wanted to — not without killing yourself for it and finally when you can speak to me -
Now he believed he understood, and knew that she was right, and hoped he also knew how to deal with it. Ma, he said, the others need to know about me, need to be reassured that there's more than just loneliness in death. And they need to know that there's safety in it, too. From such as Dragosani and the Ferenczys, and others of their sort. But there are so many of the dead — I have so many good friends amongst them — that I can't ever hope to speak to them all. Not until I'm one of them, anyway. But you don't need to know these things because you already know! Yes, and you've always known… that I love you, too, Ma. She was silent.
So if there's ever a time I don't contact you, it's because something very, very important is getting in the way. And Ma, that's the way it's always going to be… Ma?
She was full to the top, which was why she wasn't answering, but at least she wasn't crying. Harry hoped not, anyway. And eventually she said: Oh, I know that, son. It's just that I… I worry about you so. And the dead… they ask after you. Yes, and because they love you they go out of their way for you, too. Don't you know that? Can't you understand that we all want to help? — And don't you know that there are experts among us — in every field — whose talents you're wasting?
What? Wasted talents? The dead wanted to help him?
But didn't they always? What had she been up to? What's that, Ma? he said. About the dead? And what did you mean: I'm wasting my time?
In trying to contact Mobius, that's what I mean, she immediately answered. If only you'd stay in touch you'd know! Why, we've been trying to get hold of Mobius for you ever since you got your deadspeak back!
You what? But… how? Mobius isn't here. He's out there somewhere. He could be anywhere. Literally anywhere!
We know that, she answered, and also that anywhere's a big place. We haven't found him yet. But if and when we do he'll get your message and, we hope, get back to you. Meanwhile you needn't concern yourself about it. You can get on with other things.
Ma, said Harry, you don't understand. Listen: Mobius is probably in the Mobius Continuum. The dead-even the massed thoughts of all the dead — couldn't possibly reach him there. It's a place that isn't of this universe. So you see it's not so much that I'm wasting my time, but that you are wasting yours!
He could sense her shaking her head. And: Son, she said, when Harry Jnr took away your deadspeak and your mathematical intuition, did he also addle your brains?
Eh?
When you use the Mobius Continuum, how much time do you actually spend in it?
And he at once saw that she was right, and wondered: is logic linked with numeracy in the human mind? Has my son diluted my powers of reason, too? No time, he said. It's instantaneous. Mobius wasn't in the Mobius Continuum — he merely used it to get wherever he was going.
Exactly. So why waste your time aiming deadspeak thoughts at his grave in Leipzig, eh? It's like you said: he's out there somewhere. An astronomer in life, death hasn't changed him. So right now there are an awful lot of us directing our thoughts outwards to the stars! And if he's there we'll find him, eventually.
Harry had to give in to her. Ma, what would I do without you?
I was only putting you straight, Harry. Telling you that between times you should get on with other things.
Such as?
Harry, you have access to the most extensive library in the world, books which not only hold knowledge but can also impart it. The minds of the dead are like books for you to read, and their talents are all there to be learned. Just as you learned from Mobius, so you can learn from the rest of us.
But that was something Harry had long ago considered, and long since turned down. Dragosani had learned from the dead, too. Thibor Ferenczy had instructed him — in evil. Likewise, as a necromancer, Dragosani had stolen the talents of Max Batu, and the secrets of the Soviet E-Branch from Gregor Borowitz. And yet none of these things had helped him in the end. Indeed, Batu's evil eye had assisted in his destruction! No, there were certain things, like the future, which Harry preferred not to know. And these thoughts of his were deadspeak, which of course his mother read at once.
Maybe you're right, she said, but still you should keep it in mind. There are talents here, Harry, and if and when you need them they're yours for the asking…
Her voice was fading now, dwindling away into dreams. But at least this time Harry would remember their conversation. And at last, weary now in mind and body both, he relaxed, let go, sank down even deeper into dream and lay suspended there, simply sleeping. For a little while. Until -
Haaarry? It was Mobius! Harry would know his deadspeak anywhere. But even by dreaming standards Mobius's voice was… dreamy. For this was a very different Mobius, a changed Mobius.
August Ferdinand? Is that you? I've been looking for you. I mean, a great many of us have been searching for you everywhere.
I know, Harry. I was… out there. But you were right and they were wrong. I was in the Continuum! For as long as I could bear it, anyway. The thoughts of your dead friends reached me as I emerged.
Harry didn't understand. What's to bear? he asked. The Mobius Continuum is what it is.
Is it? Mobius's voice was still mazed and wandering, like that of a sleepwalker, or
