“If you would prefer I do not share a room with you-”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said, grabbing him by the shirt and hauling him into the room after me. “It’s not like we haven’t slept together before. If you’re worried I’m going to demand sex from you-”
“Christ, woman, is that all you think about?” Kristoff exploded suddenly, one hand running through his lovely brown curls.
“Sex?” I asked, my stomach contracting at his mistaken belief. I started to protest, but he cut me off.
“No!” He stormed forward, his hands clamping down on my shoulders as I tried to back away. “Why do you persist in deluding yourself that I don’t desire you?”
My jaw dropped for a moment before I snapped back, “Why? Maybe the fact that you ran away from me has something to do with it.”
“I explained that,” he said grimly, but there was a heat building in his eyes that immediately made all sorts of hidden parts of me sit up and take notice. “You said you wanted Alec. I was simply giving you what you wanted.”
“What I wanted?” I bit back the scream of frustration that threatened to burst free, saying instead, “Putting my wishes aside for a moment, why on earth would you think that Alec and I had a future? You knew I was your Beloved, not his.”
He released me. I took a step backward, simultaneously wanting to climb all over him and not wanting to be so close to him. The sense and scent and nearness of him were almost overwhelming. My body and mind were fighting a huge war to decide whether I was going to yell at him or jump his bones.
“We were Joined, but hadn’t, for lack of a better word, consummated the relationship. Alec might not have been able to feed off you, but if you had set your minds on being together, you could have a life with him with relative comfort.”
“But you couldn’t survive for long without me, could you?”
His eyes flickered to the window. “Probably not. But a Beloved can survive the loss of a Dark One. Even if I died, you and Alec could have had a future.”
I was silent for a moment, dozens of thoughts spinning around in my head. Foremost among them was the knowledge that such a noble gesture was made hollow by the fact that he had no burning desire to be with me. He was willing to die to remain true to his long-lost love.
Tears burned my eyes for a moment. I turned away and made myself busy by fussing with the blankets and pillows on the bed. “Well, what’s done is done,” I said, ever the pragmatist. I wanted badly to tell him exactly how I felt, but I had already told him I didn’t want Alec, and he had responded as I knew he would-a polite refusal to address the issue of any feelings between us beyond those of mere physical compatibility.
“Yes, it’s done.” There was a thread of something intangible in his voice. I felt him behind me, not touching me, but near enough that the heat from his body made my back tingle. “Speaking of that night, I have been remiss in thanking you for returning my soul. I apologize for such an oversight. Having a soul again certainly wasn’t anything I ever thought would happen.”
“Again?” I asked, curiosity making me turn around to face him. “You had one before?”
His face smoothed out into a mask of indifference that I was coming to recognize meant he was hiding his true feelings. “There are two types of Dark Ones: those born to an unredeemed father, and those who were made.”
“And you were one of the latter?”
“Yes.” He walked over to the closet that Josef had been hiding in and pulled off his shirt, neatly hanging it on an empty hanger. “I was human once.”
“I had no idea. So, you and Andreas and your cousin were all human, but were all turned into vampires?”
“No.” He pulled off his shoes and socks, casting me an unreadable glance. “Andreas and I share the same mother, but we have different fathers. His father is a Dark One.”
“Is? He’s still around?”
A rueful smile quirked his lips. “Dark Ones don’t die easily. Usually it requires an act of carnage. Yes, his father is still living. In Bavaria, I believe. Andreas does not speak of him much-they are not very close.”
“And your mom?”
“She was human. She died centuries ago,” he said, turning away as he unbuckled his belt.
I spent a moment admiring the lovely muscles of his back before his pants dropped to the floor. I stared at him, my breath catching in my throat at the sight of all that sculpted, delectable flesh.
He hung his pants in the closet and turned around, about to say something, but stopped when he caught me gawking. “What’s the matter with you?”
“Nothing.” The word came out rough and ragged. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Nothing at all.”
He put his hands on his hips. I greatly enjoyed the ripple of muscles across his chest as he did so. “You have seen me naked before.”
I shook my head, still staring. I couldn’t seem to stop. “No, I haven’t. The times we made love were in the dark. I’ve never actually seen you before.”
“There’s nothing unique about me to warrant such an examination. I look like any other man.”
“Hardly,” I managed to get out.
He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re going to insist on staring your fill at me, aren’t you?”
“Oh, yes,” I breathed, my eyes huge as I tried to drink all of him in. Kristoff in clothing was mindnumbingly gorgeous. Those silky reddish brown curls begged to be touched. His eyes drew me in and made me want to dive into their glittering teal depths. The cleft in his chin drove me wild with the need to dip my tongue into it. And his mouth was a symphony waiting to be played, but without his clothing, he was . . .
“Breathtaking,” I said, letting my gaze play over all of him, starting at his beautiful feet, moving up along well-muscled calves to thighs that had my fingers itching to touch. His penis held my attention for a few minutes, but there was more of him to see. His stomach I remembered as having a tiny little softness to it, but that was gone now. I frowned.
“Why are you frowning at my belly?” he asked, looking down at it.
“It was nicer before. You’ve lost some weight,” I said slowly.
His lips pursed. “I was a bit out of shape. Too much of the easy life.”
“I liked you soft.”
His eyebrows rose.
I blushed, unable to keep from glancing at his nether regions. Although he wasn’t fully aroused, it was obvious that my visual examination of him had stirred some interest. “I meant that I preferred you with the tiny little smidgen of softness around your stomach. I love men’s stomachs. And sides. There’s a part of the flank that drives me . . . Never mind,” I finished, disconcerted by the odd look he was giving me.
“Are you finished?” he asked politely after a moment.
I nodded, wishing I could turn away from him, but unable to.
He eyed me.
“I’m not taking off my clothes,” I said quickly, tugging my shrug a bit tighter around me.
His face hardened. “I told you that I would be happy to find another room-”
“Now who’s perpetuating misunderstandings?” I asked, waving a hand toward the bed. “I have no problem whatsoever with sleeping with you. I’d add, ‘assuming you wanted to sleep with me,’ but if I did, you’d probably just yell at me, so I won’t.”
“Are you going to always be like this?” he asked, a curious expression flickering across his face.
“Like what?”
“Driving me insane? You are, aren’t you? You’re going to make me spend the rest of my life reassuring you that I want you.”
Unbidden, my eyes went back to his penis. It was showing more than a little interest now. “I never doubted that you enjoyed the times we slept together,” I said carefully. “But there is more to life than sex.”
“Indeed there is. Why won’t you take off your clothes?”
My gaze flashed up to his, the blush that I knew was waiting for a chance to blossom doing just that. “I should think that’s obvious.”
His eyes narrowed. “You think wrong. What is obvious?”
