Much Ado About Vampires

summoned me out just as I was presenting my workshop on better torture methodology.”

She gave me a hug, then stepped back, her head tipped to the side as she gave me a once-over. “Something is different about you. You look . . . changed.”

“Yes, well, we found out we’re—you, Ulfur, and me, that is—now officially Tools of Bael. You’re the Voice of Lucifer, I think, and something like that is bound to have an impact on appearance.”

She looked startled for a moment at that statement. “I’m the Voce di Lucifer? How . . . oh, that chalice, the pretty one in the basement? How very curious.” She gave Pia and Kristoff a wary look. “I hope you know those two people very well, Cora, because if what you say is so—and really, I have no reason to doubt it, since no one would joke about being a Tool of Bael—then all three Tools are present in one spot, and that could be a very bad thing if those two people are not at all trustworthy.”

“They are,” I said with a smile, and made the introductions, briefly explaining the relationship between Ulfur and Pia.

“Mercy, a Zorya?” Diamond said, looking thrilled to her toes. “I’ve never met one of you, but I’ve always wanted to. Is it true you control the light of the moon?”

“Former Zorya,” Kristoff growled as Pia answered, “Yes, although I can’t anymore, now that I’ve been stripped of my Zoryaness.”

“Too bad,” Diamond sighed.

Terrin, obviously drained by the summoning, straightened himself up and announced that he would return to the Court to notify Disin that Diamond was once again in the mortal world.

“Thank you, although I really was having the most interesting time in the Akasha,” she said, giving him a hug, as well. “Tell Great-grandma that I’ll pop in to visit her one of these days, just as soon as I can. Oh, I suppose I should call Dee and let him know I’m all right. He’s probably beside himself with worry.” Diamond pulled out a cell phone and wandered into a bedroom, humming softly to herself.

“She has no idea how close she came to being stuck there permanently, does she?” I asked, looking after her.

“She does; she just assumed we’d get her out in time,” Terrin said, his dark gaze slipping from me to Alec, who stood watching the little man with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Sounds like her. So, are we going to have to beat down the gates of heaven, or is your Sovereign dude going to do something to help us?” I said, giving Terrin a firm look that should have warned him I was going to brook no nonsense. “Alec says you’re keeping something from us, that your boss will help us, but frankly, I don’t think so. I think we’re going to have to show your precious Sovereign that we are a force to be feared.”

Terrin sighed, making a tired gesture toward Alec. “I don’t know how I can stand in the face of such a threat. As it is, your Dark One is correct. The Sovereign, while unable to violate the protocols of the Court of Divine Blood, is nonetheless sympathetic to mortal causes, and for that reason, has ordered me to contact, on your respective behalves, someone who has experience with both Bael and Abaddon.”

“Who’s that?” Pia asked, looking as curious as I felt.

“Me,” a feminine voice said from the doorway.

We all turned to see a pretty woman with fluffy blond hair and a candy-apple red wool power suit standing at the door. “Ooh, two Dark Ones and their Beloveds! How exciting! I never get to see Dark Ones anymore. Terrin, my dear, you look positively ancient in that suit! What have I told you? You’re a summer; you should be wearing lovely peaches and grays and creams, not those dreary browns that you insist on wearing all the time. Have you used that microbead skin care kit I gave you for your birthday? You haven’t, have you? I can see you haven’t. Honestly, why do I go to the trouble of trying to help you if you are just going to resist all of my advice?”

“This is Sally,” Terrin said, a look of martyrdom coming over his face.

“That’s Prince Sally to you,” she said with a little laugh as he grimaced. “Or ‘Your Infernal Highness, Lord Sally of the twenty-seven legions.’ Or even, ‘Sally the magnifique.’ French makes everything better, don’t you think? Not that it’s an official title, you understand,” she told us in a confiding tone, “but I think it has a snazzy ring to it, and it annoys the other demon lords, so I like to use it. I understand you have a little issue with Bael you’d like taken care of?”

“Prince Sally?” I asked, wondering if the day would come when I wasn’t confused by things everyone said.

“Dio,” Kristoff swore, rubbing his face. “That’s all we need.”

“What do we need?” Pia asked, turning to him.

“Um. I hate to sound like the stupid one here, but why are you a prince and not a princess?” I asked. “Unless . . . oh. You’re a transvestite?”

“Me?” Sally said with a tinkling laugh. “A transvestite? Oh, my, I’m going to have to remember that joke to tell everyone. Me! Hee hee hee.”

Terrin rolled his eyes heavenward. “Now that Sally—who, I assure you, is not a transvestite—is here, I will take my leave of you all. The mare is awaiting my return.”

“Ah, gotcha. You two are . . . together?” I said, nodding at Sally.

She smiled at Terrin and blew him a kiss. “We are indeed together, aren’t we, sweetness?”

“Alas, that is the truth.” He sighed, and toddled out of the room.

“He’s so cute when he’s in Saint Terrin the Martyred mode, isn’t he?”

“I heard that,” he protested as the door closed behind him.

Sally took the opportunity to give me a very thorough visual examination. “You look quite charming in that dress. The color goes well with your skin tone,” she said at long last, not at all what I expected. I looked down at the amber-colored short lace dress, brushing a hand down the beading at the neckline, becoming aware of Alec staring at my legs.

Stop it. You’ve seen my legs before.

Yes, but I hadn’t realized until this moment just how much of them your dress exposes. In the future, I would prefer that you get them made so they fall below your knees, not above.

That’s seriously control freak, and going to do nothing but make me walk around in a bikini.

“However,” Sally said, interrupting the lecture that I could feel Alec about to deliver, “your hair! My dear, when I was at the Carrie Fae Academy of Good Looks and Perky Bosoms, we had one rule, and that was that bad- hair days should be abolished from this earth. You are not doing your part to achieve that goal.”

I touched my hair, an indignant retort on my lips, but she gave me a smile that had an awful lot of teeth in it, and added, “I’m a prince because the rules of Abaddon say that all demon lords are princes, regardless of gender.”

“Good lord, you’re a demon lord?” Pia asked, just as shocked as I was.

I pressed up against Alec. “Jesus wept!” Alec, we have to get out of here! She’s a demon lord!

“Ulfur!” Pia said, reaching for him. “Kristoff, don’t just stand there! Do something!”

One that the Sovereign of the Court of Divine Blood has recommended to help us.

“Do what, exactly?” Kristoff asked Pia.

But all three of us are here! Together! She could use us!

“She’s a demon lord!” Pia said, waving at Sally, obviously having the same thought that I was. “That’s bad, isn’t it?”

Yes, Alec said slowly, his mind turning over all sorts of possibilities. That’s exactly what I think the Sovereign intended.

“I am not an it, and I am not bad,” Sally said with another toothy smile, this time shared between all of us. “Well, sometimes I am, but most of the time, I’m just naughty, if you get my drift.”

You mean this woman is supposed to boot Bael from power and take over his position? But what’s to stop her from using us then?

Bael will be destroyed. So will his power. You will no longer be able to channel it; thus, no one could use you.

“Oh,” I said aloud, understanding at last why Alec wasn’t in the least bit panicking. “You’re going to take Bael’s position, aren’t you?” I asked Sally.