Only Yours

CHAPTER TEN

STEVE WAS AN ATTRACTIVE MAN. Tanned, fit, reasonably intelligent. He had blue eyes, which Denise liked. So far they’d talked about his job as a district manager for a computer parts distributor, the upcoming art festival in town and the weather.

She glanced surreptitiously at her watch and hoped the man sitting across from her didn’t notice. She held in a groan. Had it really just been twenty minutes? Thank God they were only having drinks.

“Do you come here often?” Steve asked.

“To the winery? No, I don’t get here much.” She looked around at the patio. Tables and chairs had been set out. The summer evening was warm, but a light breeze kept the temperature bearable. The mountains were to the east, the vineyard to the west. It was a perfect romantic setting. So why did she feel like banging her head against the table?

“I was reading in the paper that they’re having a good summer for grapes,” she said. “If the favorable weather continues, this is going to be one of those excellent years for California wines.”

She held in her second groan in the past three minutes. Talk about inane conversation.

Maybe it was the setting. Too forced. The truth was, she didn’t have that many places she could go on a first date. Living in Fool’s Gold meant she knew everyone and everyone knew her. Talk about a dating challenge, especially at her age.

“Do you get to Fool’s Gold often?” she asked.

He smiled. “No, but I could change that.”

Oops. She hadn’t seen that coming.

“So business is good?”

He leaned toward her. “Good and getting better. Technology is always changing and people want to keep up. In a lot of industries you have to wait until the equipment breaks. Think about it. Would you replace your washing machine just because there was a new, fancy model?”

“Of course not.”

“Right. No one would. But people think nothing of getting a new phone, just because it’s new. It’s a kind of built-in obsolescence.”

“You sound like you really enjoy your work.”

“I do. I like sales a lot and I really like having access to the newest toys.”

He pulled a slim phone out of his pocket, tapped on the dark surface and showed her the screen. It was a maze of little boxes. Apps—was that the word?

“I’m so the wrong person to try to impress,” she admitted. “I’ve had the same phone for two years. I’m terrified it’s going to stop working and I’ll have to figure out how to use a new one.”

“I could help you,” he said, meeting her gaze.

He was obviously interested, she thought with a sigh. She supposed she should be flattered and she was, a little. But while he was nice to look at and seemed charming enough, there was no…spark.

He was smiling. Denise frowned as she realized there weren’t a lot of wrinkles around his eyes or gray in his dark blond hair.

They’d met last month, when Steve had been in town for some kind of conference. She’d bumped into him at Starbucks. Despite the spilled coffee, he’d been funny and friendly and when he’d asked for her number she’d impulsively given it to him, assuming he was close to her age.

“How old are you?” she asked.

“Forty-two.”

Had she been drinking her glass of Merlot, she would have choked.

“I’m more than ten years older than you.” She braced herself for the skid marks he would make as he raced away.

Steve shrugged. “Age is just a number.”

“That’s not what my mirror tells me every morning.”

He leaned toward her again. “Don’t sweat it. I don’t. You’re an attractive, vital woman. Sexually in your prime.”

A second opportunity to choke, she thought, torn between hysterical laughter and the burning need to call one of her children to come rescue her. Sexually in her prime? She’d been dating for a while now and could barely bring herself to kiss a man. Sex was impossible to imagine.

She drew in a breath. “Steve, this has been great,” she began.

“It has. I want to see you again.”

“Why?”

His blue eyes crinkled as he smiled. “I like you, Denise.”

“You’re very nice, too,” she murmured, “but let’s be realistic. Have you been married?”

“Divorced.”

“Any kids?”

“No.”

“Want them?”

“Sure.”

“Exactly. Not to be too blunt, but that ship has sailed. I have six children, the oldest of whom is…” She had to swallow hard. “The oldest is about eight years younger than you.”

“So you were a baby when you got married. It doesn’t matter.”

“It does. I have grandchildren. I don’t want to start over with someone. I want…”

She pressed her lips together when she realized she didn’t know what she wanted. The impossible, she supposed. A man who made her heart beat faster, who understood her and her world and found both were exactly what he’d been looking for. A man she could picture clearly, but was taking great pains to avoid.

“It’s been great,” she said, rising to her feet. “Thanks for the drink.”

He stood as well. “You’re leaving?”

“I’m saying goodbye.”

With that she walked through the tasting room and back to her car. But when she got there, she didn’t get inside.

She’d barely had five sips of her wine, so she wasn’t worried about driving. Still, she stood in the fading sunlight and fought back tears.

There were times when she missed her husband so much she thought she would rip apart from the inside out. Times when it had seemed impossible to go on. Today wasn’t one of those, because as she stared out at the mountains, she wasn’t thinking about her late husband.

Ralph hadn’t been the one to bring her here. That had been Max. Dangerous, exciting Max, who rode a motorcycle and had kissed like he meant it. Max who had shown her what it meant to be swept away by passion and love.

He’d left, because that was what men like him did. By then, she’d already met Ralph and realized he was the kind of man she could love her whole life. Being with him had been different from being with Max. There hadn’t been danger at all. Where Max had withheld, Ralph had offered.

He’d given her six beautiful children and the happiest years of her life. He’d been her other half. They’d loved each other faithfully long past his passing.

She got in her car and started the engine. While she didn’t believe there was only one great love in each person’s life, she did believe that a man like Ralph wasn’t likely to come along again. That left her with the choice of accepting second best or simply giving up on the whole dating thing.

She drove out of the parking lot and headed for home. If she hurried, she could still join Kent and Reese for dinner, take Fluffy for a walk and lose herself in the familiar. Wasn’t that better than anything a man had to offer?

“YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO, right?” Montana asked. “You’re clear on the rules?”