He didn’t allow himself a lot of regrets. There was no point. He always regretted losing a patient, even if there was nothing he could have done. But he didn’t regret the choices he made, how he lived, that he was alone. All that was part of the bargain he had accepted years ago. But hurting Montana? He shook his head. That he regretted.
Someone knocked on his door. Before Simon could answer, it opened, and Reese Hendrix stuck his head inside.
“Hey, Dr. B,” he said with a grin. “I’m here to see Kalinda. My grandmother brought me and she said I should ask you first. So is it okay?”
“I’m sure she would be happy to see you.” He motioned for the boy to step into the room, then studied him in the overhead light. “Whoever your doctor was, he did great work.”
Reese laughed. “You know you were the doctor.”
Simon patted him on the shoulder. “Come on,” he said. “I’ll go with you. Cece, Kalinda’s service dog, has been up there for a while. I’ll take her outside for a walk while you two keep each other company.”
Fay was just coming out of her daughter’s room as they approached. For once she didn’t look close to tears. “Hello, Reese. Dr. Bradley, I think she’s doing better. Kalinda wants some ice cream from the cafeteria. I’m going to get it for her. Do you want me get you something, Reese?”
“No, thanks,” he said, ducking around her and entering the room.
“Ice cream is good, isn’t it?” Fay asked. “She hasn’t been hungry in a while.”
“Hunger tells us the body is healing.”
“Her fever is down, too. I’m so relieved.” She smiled and patted him on the arm. “We’re getting through this, thanks to you. I don’t know what we would have done without you.”
They would have had someone else, he thought, wondering if that doctor would have cared as much, done as much. In his head he knew whoever had taken care of her would have been just as dedicated, but in his gut, he was less sure. For him, there were no distractions. Only his patients.
At least that’s how it had always been until Montana.
Pushing her from his mind, he entered the hospital room. Reese had already set up the computer game and Kalinda had raised her bed so she could sit up.
“Hey, guys,” he said.
“Dr. B, we’re going to play,” Kalinda told him. “Can we take care of whatever you want later?”
“I’m here to give Cece a bathroom break.”
He turned to the little dog, who was already standing. Cece gazed at him adoringly, her brown poodle eyes bright with affection. As he reached for her, she angled toward him, butt first, in what Montana had explained was her “You can pick me up” position.
He reached under her chest and supported her rear as he lifted. She gave a little push against the bed, as if offering help.
“You weigh six pounds, kid,” he muttered. “I don’t need the help.”
Kalinda giggled. “She does that. She’s very polite.”
Polite or not, what he felt was her quivering excitement as she squirmed to get closer and bathe his face in dog kisses. Her tail thudded against his chest in a frantic, happy rhythm.
Reese glanced up. “She really likes you.”
“So I’ve been told. I’ll be back shortly.”
“Okay.”
Neither kid was paying attention to him anymore, which was how it should be.
He made a quick stop in his office to put Cece into her harness and leash, then carried her outside. He walked to an unused bit of lawn and set her down. She immediately began sniffing around, then peed.
Although he could probably take her back inside, he thought she might like to stretch her legs a little. Montana had brought her by relatively early that morning.
“Are you up to walking around the complex?” he asked.
Cece stared at him, her head tilted as if she were trying to understand. Her tail wagged.
They started down the sidewalk. His plan was to walk the perimeter, including the parking lots and garages. It would probably be close to a mile.
During his early-morning workouts he was careful to watch the news. Current events served as a distraction. But now, with the little dog prancing at his side, there was nothing to keep him from his thoughts.
Despite Fay’s excitement over her daughter’s improvement, he was cautious. She could still take a turn for the worse and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. This was not anything he would share with the emotionally fragile mother. Kalinda might truly be recovering and everything would be fine. Statistically that was the case, although his experience made him wary.
Cece stopped by a tree and sniffed intently. She squatted, peed a couple of drops, then looked at him with an expression that could only be described as satisfied.
“Telling them you were here?” he asked her.
She wagged her tail, then began walking again.
The late-morning air was warm, promising a hot afternoon. Summer in Fool’s Gold was beautiful with plenty of blue skies, and the mountains looming to the east were green.
They continued on their walk, Cece prancing beside him. His thoughts drifted to Montana.
There was no way to avoid what had happened between them. No way to gloss over the fact that he’d hurt her. He’d been stupid to think she wouldn’t notice the fundraiser. Given how much time they were spending together, of course she expected him to ask her.
He hadn’t meant to hurt her. He’d never had to worry much about a woman’s feelings before, he realized. The brief, temporary connections he usually made excluded emotions on both sides. There was mild interest, some conversation and sexual release. Little more.
Montana was different. He finally understood what it meant when people said someone had gotten under their skin. It was more than a cliche—it was a sensation. An ache, a need, an inability to forget or ignore.
He kept seeing her wounded expression, the pain in her eyes. Remembering that made him feel guilty, because he made it a point not to get close enough to wound anyone. He didn’t get involved for a reason. Some of it was because he was always moving on, and some of it was because he didn’t want to feel guilty.
He supposed the logical solution was to simply end things with her. To walk away, complete his time and leave. Simple. Clean. Honest.
But every time he thought about doing that, everything within him rebelled. How could he not spend time with her? Not only because she haunted him, but because of what she’d said while they were having lunch. She no longer saw his scars.
No one had ever done that before. People got used to them, considered them a part of him, but no one had been able to transcend them.
He’d always known she was special, but that simple statement had made him see she was more than that. More than he deserved. And to hurt her without reason, to cause her even a second’s worth of pain would be to violate some of the newfound good in his life.
“Complications,” he muttered.
Cece looked up at him and wagged her tail.
They made their way back to the side entrance, where they’d come down. As they approached the stairs, Cece stopped and assumed the “You can pick me up” position, then gave a little jump as he reached for her.
“You’re a smart little girl,” he said, holding her close.
She gave him a quick lick on the chin, then snuggled against his chest, her paws tucked against his arm, as if it would never occur to her that she would be dropped.
“Such trust.”
He took Cece to Kalinda’s room, thinking he would remove her harness there. As he walked toward the half- open door, he heard soft crying.
“Don’t,” Reese pleaded. “Don’t cry.”
“I don’t want to be like this.”
“They’re just burns.”
Simon stopped, still out of sight but able to hear.
