“Sounds like a fine idea to me,” I heartily agreed.
“Of course you would think so. It’s easier than actually trying to talk to me isn’t it?” she said bitterly.
“It would be easier if you weren’t so angry all the time,” I shot back.
“That’s not true. You were the one who snapped on the trip back. You didn’t even give me an opportunity. Just up and cut me off… throwing that stupid ring at me!” she replied.
“I never lied to you Penny. How would you react?”
“Better than that… life happens Mordecai, and people have to work it out. You didn’t even try? Do you think people are perfect, like in one of those story books you used to read?” I could sense a speech coming on. She had always been fond of listening to herself talk, I thought to myself angrily.
“I know better than that Penelope. I just expected honesty from you. Is that so much to ask?”
“And what would you have done if I had told you everything? What other choice could you have made? This is just your excuse. It was a shitty situation but you want someone else to blame. I won’t be your scapegoat.” She was still angry but at least she wasn’t shouting any longer.
“At least I would have had a choice, a real choice. One based on facts, rather than being spoon fed the information you thought would be good for me, like a child,” I retorted.
“And what else could you have chosen? Do you think a thousand years’ worth of wizards are wrong? Would you rather risk madness, just for your stubborn pride?” she answered pointedly.
“Maybe I would have. I still don’t believe I was going mad. If I had had a little more time I might have been able to figure things out,” I said earnestly.
“You wouldn’t Mort. No one has, not in a thousand years. Cyhan told me about the Sundering. The wizards of that time were the greatest the world has ever seen, and they chose this! You’re letting your fear blind you to reason.” She had stepped closer as she said this and now we were only a few feet apart. “Admit it! Your real reason isn’t that you think the bond is wrong, the real reason is you don’t want me to die with you.”
“No!” I said vehemently, but then I amended my statement. “Yes and no, I don’t want you to die, but I think there is more here than we realize. Just because everyone says something doesn’t make it true. I know what I felt! I wasn’t going mad. I needed to adjust.”
“You pompous… stupid… jackass,” she replied quietly. “Cyhan was right about you.”
That got me. Just when I thought I might be able to reason with her she had to bring him into it. Jealousy reared up within me like a demon, “So your boyfriend told you I was crazy and you’d rather believe him than trust me?!”
“Boyfriend?” her eyes were wide with surprised innocence, for some reason that only made me madder.
“Yes your boyfriend… you deranged trollop!” The insult was so ridiculous I almost winced as I said it, but I could think of nothing better.
Her hand caught me squarely across the cheek. It would have been a stinging slap but I still had my shield up. Instead I wound up staggered at the force of the blow. Penelope had stopped moving, her hand held motionless in the air where she had struck me. Tears were starting from her eyes. “Take it back,” she said quietly.
“Which part?” I asked dumbly. Stupid never dies.
“All of it… take it back,” she repeated. The look on her face had me doubting myself suddenly. Anger I could deal with, but now her expression held such anguish I felt ashamed. I had had no idea my words could wound her so deeply.
“I’m sorry Penny, maybe you didn’t deserve that,” I admitted.
“Maybe? Mort, I have never… ever… looked on another man in that way. Do you really think I would… how could you think that? You are the stupidest man I have ever known!”
“That’s as may be, but it’s for the best,” I said changing tactics.
“What do you mean, for the best?” she stared at me in shock.
“We’re done Penny. I know you don’t like that but it’s best if you just let go of it. I’ve been thinking about this and I think I have a solution.” The words were difficult to say but I kept my face calm. If I showed any sign of emotion now it would ruin my chances of convincing her.
“Oh… a solution?” she asked mildly. “I would love to hear it.”
“You’re worried that if we get rid of the bond I’ll go mad right?” I continued. She nodded her head. “I don’t like our current situation but I can understand that concern. According to your vision I will die in a few months, but we do have some options. I don’t want you anymore Penny, hard as that is to admit. There’s no need for you to die with me…”
“I see,” she said.
“Wait let me finish. We can wait, till near the end. When you think the time is close we remove the bond then. At that point it won’t matter if I start hearing voices again. Whatever happens after I die is still uncertain. At the very least you would have a chance to start over, if you can escape the end of the battle.”
She watched me carefully, an expression of deep thought on her face. “I hadn’t thought about it like that before Mordecai. I guess you’re right… there’s no good reason why I should die with you, especially if you don’t love me anymore. All this time I just felt obligated, I was afraid to share my true feeling for Cyhan. It was just so shameful. But now I can start fresh, right?” Her voice was soft, with a hint of hope in it.
“That’s right Penny. You’re still my friend, no matter what else. If possible I’d like you to be happy,” I said carefully. I hadn’t expected her to react so rationally and I still half suspected she might be mocking me. Her acceptance hurt though, I had never thought she could let go so quickly.
“And you don’t mind?” she asked.
“Well I don’t want to die, but if there’s a chance for you to have a normal life I think you should take it.”
“And I can marry Cyhan?” her expression brightened.
“Well… yeah. If that’s what you want,” I almost choked on the words.
“Then it won’t matter if I marry him before you die either? I guess we could just go ahead and have it done later this week. So we don’t have to wait. You understand I’m sure.”
Confusion had me full in its grasp now, “What?”
“For the sex of course… I’d rather not have to wait. Really we wouldn’t need to get married either. It’s not as if I’m a virgin anymore, but Cyhan is very traditional. I’m sure he would insist on it. It’ll be a lot easier to deal with your loss if I’m already in the arms of my new lover. Don’t you think?”
I gaped at her, “What the hell is wrong with you Penny?”
“Nothing Mordecai! It’s quite simple. Since I’m obviously a great whore I should just face reality and do what I like, right? Maybe after I’m done with Cyhan I can have a run at Dorian and Marcus? I’m sure that would make me feel even better!” her eyes flashed angrily.
I turned my back on her and walked away, “I get it Penelope, no need to be an ass. I was just trying to offer a solution.”
She followed me and put her hand on my shoulder to turn me around, “No, I get it now Mort. Look at me…” She had my face between her hands. “No more stupid games, they hurt too much. I love you, and I always will. Don’t try to play martyr. You want me to live happily after you’re gone, but it doesn’t work that way. You’re not getting rid of me.”
I couldn’t take it anymore, my composure broke and I could feel my eyes watering. She was just so damn beautiful standing there, inches away. Even if she did have my face locked between her insanely strong arms. “Damn you,” I said sweetly, “I hate you sometimes.”
“I hate you too,” she answered and then she kissed me. Things got rather more interesting after that and we confessed our hate for one another several times more during the course of it.
A short time later we decided we needed to get back to the meeting. We were in various states of undress so we began putting ourselves back together when I heard a noise at the door. I had been so wrapped up in our ‘conversation’ I hadn’t been paying attention to my other senses and I realized that two men were standing outside my door, Dorian and Marc, naturally enough. Opening my mind a bit more I could tell they had their ears pressed against the wood.
Striding rapidly across the room I flung the door open. I was hoping they would fall on their asses but they caught their balance. “What the hell are you doing?” I demanded.
Dorian’s face was a picture of embarrassment but Marc was quicker on his feet, “Sorry Mort we were just talking and I had to confess something to Dorian here…,” he faced our large friend with an expression of mock seriousness, hands out to clasp his shoulders. “I hate you Dorian!”
