Oliver shook his head. ‘I just wanted to see my son growing up.’
Estelle swallowed as the old ache of longing came back. She and Oliver had tried so hard for another child of their own, but it had never happened. Anyway, that was irrelevant now.
‘I’m not talking about Tiff.’ Her eyes were bright, her tone accusatory. I’m talking about the way you endlessly criticise me, tell me my clothes don’t suit me, sneer at the novels I read, complain that my roast potatoes aren’t crispy enough. Those are the things that hurt, Oliver. Being treated like a second-class citizen is what
This outburst was greeted with a stunned silence. She was able to see Oliver mentally checking off each item on the list.
‘Do I?’ he said at last, clearly shaken. ‘Is that what I do? My God, I’ve never even thought about it before. I suppose I have done all those things.’
‘Trust me. You have.’
‘And Will was the one who pointed it out to you,’ said Oliver.
‘I suppose.’ Estelle was reluctant to give Will Gifford credit for anything. ‘But we were in a rut long before he came along. He just brought it all out into the open.’
‘And that’s why you ran to him.’
Oh God, she
‘At least we aren’t in a rut now. This is the opposite of arut,’ Oliver said wearily. ‘I don’t blame you for getting out. Maybe Will’s what you need.’
Hadn’t he read the papers?
Dry-mouthed, Estelle said, ‘I’m not with Will any more.’ Physically, Oliver didn’t react.
‘No? Where are you staying?’
‘Cheltenham.’ She may as well tell him; dammit, he was going to be the one settling the Amex bill.
‘In a hotel at the moment. But I’ve been looking at flats to rent.’
‘Flats?’
‘Well, just the one.’ Despite doing her best to sound flippant, Estelle heard her voice crack.
Her twenty-eight-year marriage was over, she’d made a complete fool of herself with a younger man and now she was searching for somewhere to live. Waving her arms helplessly, she floundered on, ‘It’s, you know, a chance to re-think my life, make new friends ... I thought I might, um, get a job ...’
‘Or you could stay here,’ said Oliver.
Had he really said that?
Estelle’s eyes filled with tears. ‘What?’
‘OK, maybe stay isn’t the right word, seeing as you’ve already left. But you could come back,’
Oliver said hesitantly, ‘and we could try again. I never wanted to lose you. Maybe I didn’t always show it, and I
‘How many others have there been?’ Estelle said abruptly. ‘Women, mistresses – other ones like Juliet?’
‘None. That’s the truth.’ Oliver shook his head vigorously, then groaned. ‘Oh God, I know what you’re thinking, that that’s just another lie. But I swear there haven’t been any others.’
Estelle paused, then shook her head. ‘It’s no good. We can’t, Oliver. Too much has happened.’
‘We can!’ There was an edge of desperation in his voice. ‘You don’t know how much I’ve missed you. I’ll do anything you say!’
‘But—’
‘Do you want me to retire? Give up work completely? I’ll do it.’ Oliver nodded, as if work was already nothing but a distant memory.
‘Oliver. You love your job.’
‘Not as much as I love you.’ His eyes began to glisten and instinctively he half turned away, unaccustomed to revealing this much of himself. Rubbing his face with his hands, he said desperately, ‘Estelle, you mean everything in the world to me.’
‘Oh God.’ She was trembling now; this was Oliver as she’d never heard him before. ‘But how could I come back here? Everyone in Ashcombe knows what’s happened. They’d be laughing at me behind my
—’
‘They wouldn’t.’ Vehemently Oliver shook his head. ‘Everyone loves you, this is where your friends are, but if you don’t want to stay here, fine. We’ll sell this place and move.’
‘Move?’ Heavens, Dauncey House meant the world to Oliver. ‘Move where?’
‘Wherever you like. Anywhere in the world.’
In a daze, Estelle said, ‘You’d do that?’
‘Anything.’
Estelle looked at him. Finally she nodded and said in a voice she barely recognised, ‘OK.’
