Falling for you

Marcella ...’

Managing a shaky smile, Maddy said, ‘And then I thought about not coming here tonight and that made me feel worse.’

Kerr led her through the panelled hallway, into a high-ceilinged sitting room. Primrose-yellow walls and a cream carpet didn’t go at all with the heavy, reddish-brown mahogany furniture or the dark blue rugs sprawled across the floor.

‘I know.’ Kerr intercepted her gaze. ‘It’s horrible, a complete nightmare. I rented it furnished.

The kitchen has to be seen to be believed. Anyway, that’s not important.’ He shook his head. ‘Being appalled by my kitchen tiles isn’t why you’re here. Bloody hell, life would be a damn sight easier if it was.’

Maddy nodded, acknowledging this with feeling. If only she were Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen, life would be a doddle. Apart from having to wear the clothes, obviously.

‘I still can’t believe this is happening,’ Kerr went on. ‘It’s only been a week, for heaven’s sake. This time last Saturday I hadn’t even met you.’ He paused. ‘And then at the party, barn. Since that night I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before.’

He was wearing a dark blue cotton shirt and faded jeans, the body beneath them — frankly — to die for. Her stomach knotted with lust, Maddy whispered, ‘I know. Me too.’ There was no point in trying to deny it; the attraction was fairly obviously mutual. She cleared her throat. ‘But what if we’re feeling like this because we know it can’t happen? Like being on a diet and knowing you can’t have chocolate mousse?’

‘OK, I thought about that too. That’s why I invited you here tonight.’ Moving towards her, Kerr smiled slightly and reached for her hands. ‘Come here, mousse.’

Pulling her towards him, he kissed her on the corner of her mouth, then on the other corner, then properly, and Maddy thought, At last. It was like going to heaven, feeling Kerr’s warm body pressed against her own and his fingers (thank goodness she hadn’t used hair gel) sliding unimpeded through her hair. All too soon he pulled away, surveying her with an expression in his dark eyes that almost made her want to cry.

‘OK, you have to bear with me now because I’m not used to saying this kind of stuff. I’m not sure, but I think I love you.’

‘Oh God, don’t say that ...’ Maddy covered her mouth, not meaning it for a moment; this was what she wanted to hear him say more than anything. But it was just so scary, so impossible. How could anything but misery result from a situation so dire?

‘It’s the only way. We both know how we feel, it’s too late to back down and pretend it hasn’t happened. Not seeing you again would only make me want you more.’ Kerr waited. ‘Right, so this is the plan. We are going to see each other. We’ll be incredibly discreet, no one else will know, and with a bit of luck we’ll discover we don’t like each other as much as we think we do.’

Maddy stared at him in disbelief. ‘With a bit of luck?’

‘I know, I know.’ He shrugged helplessly. ‘But what other choice do we have? And it could happen, you know. In fact, the odds are that it will. How many boyfriends have you had?’

Taken aback by the bluntness of the question, Maddy said cautiously, ‘Well ... quite a few, I suppose. All in all.’

‘OK, same here. Maybe a bit more than quite a few.’ A flicker of a smile crossed his face. ‘I’m sorry. If only I’d known, I’d have saved myself. But the point is, we went out with other people because we liked them. And each time, sooner or later, and for whatever reason, we stopped going out with them. Fingers crossed, that’s exactly what’ll happen to us.’

It didn’t help that while he was saying this, he was running his fingers magically down the side of her face, touching her neck, looking very much as though he wanted to kiss her again.

‘But you said ...’ Maddy’s throat constricted with emotion . . you said that you thought you might, um ...’

‘Love you. I know. But it could still happen, couldn’t it?

Give it a couple of weeks and I might realise I can’t stand the sight of you. Or you may decide you never want to see me again.’

Right now, that seemed about as likely as deciding that your favourite sandwich was cat food and mustard. ‘And if we don’t?’

‘If we don’t, it’s officially a disaster. We’ll just have to run away together.’ Kerr drew her towards him once more, his dark eyes fixed on hers. ‘We’ll have to find somewhere where Marcella can’t track us down. Join up with the VSO or something, and devote the rest of our lives to helping homeless smelly old tramps in Siberia. It’ll be vile, but at least we’ll be together. God,’ he pulled a face, ‘I really hope it doesn’t come to that. Talk about an incentive to get you out of my system.’

‘Maybe we should write down a list of our had points, to get the ball rolling,’ Maddy said helpfully.

‘You know, I could go off you really quickly if you told me lots of completely hideous things about you.’

‘You think? Like what?’

‘Oh, like if you watch Sky Sports all the time. And get really worked up about football. And you hate dogs. And you’re really irritatingly tidy. Or if you only change your socks once a fortnight. And you tell bad jokes all the time and expect me to laugh at them over and over again.’

Actually, this was easy, all she had to do was remember all the things that had annoyed her about previous boyfriends. ‘Or you’re proud of the fact that you’ve never done the washing-up in your life, or you play with model train’s, or you think it’s funny to mock people with speech impediments, or like to pretend you’ve got a huge spider in your hand when you know perfectly well someone’s terrified of spiders—’

‘Stop, stop.’ Kerr held up his hands in protest. ‘Jesus, what kind of men have you been associating with? That’s the most appalling list I’ve ever heard. Do you seriously think I’d do any of those things?’

‘Well, no.’ Maddy was embarrassed.