Falling for you

‘Perhaps you could tell—’

‘Look, I promise you I’m not doing any harm,’ Maddy blurted out, ‘but personal means personal and I don’t want to sound stroppy, but shouldn’t you be out catching real criminals, like burglars or car thieves, instead of harassing innocent motorists?’

‘That is, in fact, our aim, miss. We were called here tonight by one of the residents, concerned that you might be planning to break into their home.’

For a sickening moment Maddy wondered if it had been Kerr, alarmed at the prospect of being stalked by an ex-girlfriend-turned-deranged-madwoman. Then a flicker of movement in her peripheral vision caused her to swivel round, just in time to catch the ruffled bedroom curtain of the house opposite dropping down as a penned head hastily ducked out of sight.

‘I’m not a burglar,’ said Maddy. ‘I promise.’

This time the gangly policeman was definitely doing his best not to laugh.

‘OK, I think I know what this could be about. Boyfriend trouble, am I right?’

Miserably Maddy nodded.

‘Ex?’

She nodded again.

‘Dumped you for another woman?’

‘No, nothing like that! We just aren’t seeing each other any more, that’s all.’

‘And sitting in your car in the middle of the night looking at his house makes you feel better, does it?’

‘Well, yes,’ Maddy admitted wretchedly. ‘Yes, it does.’

‘It’s all right. I know.’ Now it was the gangly policeman’s turn to nod. ‘I’ve done it too.’

‘Have you?’ Heartened, Maddy gazed up at him.

‘God, yes, loads of times. Practically every girl who’s ever chucked me.’

Yikes.

‘ In fact, every girl.’ He nodded vigorously. ‘The last one was only a few weeks ago. She swore she wasn’t seeing anyone else, but I caught her out.’ Smugly he said, ‘I’d drive round to her place at four o’clock in the morning and feel the bonnet of her car. If it was still warm, that meant she’d been out with some bloke, see?’

‘Um ... yes ...’

‘Ever tried that?’

Maddy swallowed. ‘Well, not really, no.’

‘Should do. Handy tip, that. And if you’ve still got a front door key,’ he went on eagerly, ‘well, you can do all sorts. Tap their phone, fit listening devices, anything you like. I can give you the address of a shop that sells all that stuff, if you want. Best in the business and very discreet.’

‘Gosh, um, thanks. Actually,’ Maddy checked her watch again, ‘it’s getting a bit late, I really should be making a move—’

‘Hidden cameras, they’re good.’

‘I don’t think I need to—’

‘Hey, this could be fate!’ The gangly policeman’s pale-lashed eyes gleamed in the moonlight.

‘I’ve just split up with someone, you’ve just split up with someone – how about we get together some time?’

Urk!

‘Well—’

‘D’you like pizza? We could go out for a pizza.’ His Adam’s apple bobbed eagerly. ‘Tomorrow night? I’m off duty tomorrow night. I can tell you how to send anonymous letters without getting caught.’

‘Look, I’m sorry,’ Maddy blurted out in desperation. ‘I’ve got to go!’

As he watched the girl speed off, the gangly police man smiled to himself before heading back to the patrol car.

His fellow officer, who had been listening to every word, chuckled. ‘Poor kid, you frightened the living daylights out of her.’

Helping himself to a Snickers bar the policeman said, ‘I did the girl a favour, brought her to her senses. Besides,’ he broke into a grin, ‘anything to brighten up a dull shift.’

Esme Calloway owned and ran Dartington House Nursing Home. When Kerr had first met her, he’d prompted himself to remember her name by recalling Cab Calloway’s song ‘Minnie The Moocher’, from The Blues Brothers. Sadly, all this had succeeded in doing was making him think of the name Minnie every time he saw her. It was only a matter of time before he accidentally called her that.

But this wasn’t likely to happen today. Esme Calloway had asked him to visit her in her office and the news she had for him wasn’t cheerful.

‘I’m afraid your mother’s condition is deteriorating, Mr McKinnon. The doctor came out to visit her again this morning. The results of last week’s blood tests aren’t too good. Her liver function is, as you know, already poor.’

‘I know.’ Kerr nodded. It had been poor for years, but somehow his mother had survived; liver-wise, she was 0llie Reed in a dress.