Falling for you

He’d come straight from the hospital. Stubble-chinned and ashen-faced, he looked as though he hadn’t slept in days. Remembering how she’d felt when the call had come through from America telling her about Kate’s car accident, Estelle experienced a pang of guilt.

Next to her, Marcella said quietly, ‘How is he?’

Oliver looked as if he was struggling to breathe normally.

‘Still alive. And that’s about as encouraging as it gets. If septicaemia sets in, they could be forced to amputate his arms and legs.’

Oh God, that poor little boy. A lump sprang into Estelle’s throat at the very thought.

‘I just came back to shower and change,’ Oliver went on.

‘Tell Juliet we’re all praying for him,’ said Marcella, her dark eyes luminous with compassion.

Rubbing his face, Oliver nodded across at her. ‘I will.’

Chapter 40

‘It’s not fair,’ Estelle raged. ‘It’s not fair, he’s acting as if I don’t have any right to be upset because Tiff’s ill. He’s making out that I’m being selfish, and I don’t want to be selfish, but I am upset, I’m bloody upset! All these years I’ve stayed married to him. I could have had an affair, you know, but I didn’t because I was loyal to my husband, and all the time I was being so loyal he was busy having sex with Juliet Price, telling her he was single, getting her pregnant—’

‘ Is this wise?’ Marcella said patiently, sitting on the end of the bed watching Estelle hurl nighties, skirts, shoes and assorted items of underwear into two cases.

‘I doubt it, but I’m bloody doing it anyway. How can I stay here?’ Viciously, Estelle flung in her hairdryer and a bottle of Chanel No. 19, not even caring if it smashed. ‘I’ll be the laughing stock of Ashcombe. Why should I let myself be humiliated?’

‘You wouldn’t be.’

‘Anyway, I’m going.’ Estelle said it quickly before Marcella could come up with some plausible reason why she should stay.

‘Where?’

‘God knows. Pass me my pink top, would you? I mean, can you believe he didn’t even say sorry?’

‘ It’s been a shock,’ said Marcella. ‘For both of you.’

‘Bloody right it’s been a shock. Oh, darling ...’ Estelle’s head jerked up as the bedroom door swung open and Kate appeared.

‘Mum, I don’t want you to go.’ Fiercely, Kate hugged her. ‘I can’t bear it that Dad’s done this to you.’

Aware that the news of Tiff’s existence must have come as a shock to Kate too, Estelle was nevertheless overwhelmed by the emotion in her daughter’s voice. Kate was on her side and that meant so much to her.

‘It’s the only thing to do. I can’t stay here. Darling, I love you.’ Her own voice wavering, she stroked Kate’s face. ‘Where will you go?’

‘Not sure. Some hotel, I suppose. I’ll ring and let you know,’ said Estelle.

‘You shouldn’t have to leave. He should.’ Kate was vehement. ‘You haven’t done anything wrong.’

Yet, thought Estelle.

‘Oh God, what a mess,’ Estelle sighed when Kate had finally been persuaded to leave for work. In the space of an hour her whole life had been picked up and shaken like a snow globe. From now on, nothing was ever going to be the same again.

Marcella emerged from the en suite bathroom. ‘Here, don’t forget your razor.’

‘To cut my wrists?’

‘To shave your legs. Hey, don’t cry,’ Marcella said encouragingly. ‘You’ll get through this.’

‘God knows how.’ Estelle wiped her eyes with her sleeve determined not to start. ‘Why do you keep looking at you] watch?’

‘Do I? Oh, sorry. Jake’s taking Sophie along to the surgery this morning; the doctor at the hospital told him she might need a course of antibiotics. He said he’d let me know what was happening.’

Another great wave of shame swept through Estelle. She truly didn’t mean to be a selfish, horrible person, but it was so hard not to think about what had happened to her. Right now, her own problems were what were uppermost in her mind, whereas as far as everyone else was concerned, the fact that Tiff was lying gravely ill in hospital was far more important.

It was just as well she was leaving Ashcombe. Under the circumstances, how could she stay?

Poor Tiff, thought Estelle, picturing the little boy and feeling her bottom lip begin to wobble again. Poor Sophie. Poor me.

‘ No danger of a smile, I suppose.’

‘What?’ snapped Kate.

‘You know, that thing people do with their mouths to cheer up the customers, make them feel welcome.’

‘Since when have you been bothered about customers feeling welcome? Anyway,’ Kate turned her back on Dexter, ‘they’re all out in the garden. There’s no one in here to smile at.’

Drily Dexter said, ‘Thanks.’

‘Don’t mention it.’ Really wishing he’d go away – although since this was his pub it was unlikely

– Kate did the next best thing and wrenched open the dishwasher, which had just finished its cycle.