They sat down next to each other on the sofa. With her left hand, Liza pleated and repleated the velvet hem of her dress. ‘Are you involved with anyone else?’
‘No.’ He shook his head.
‘I spoke to Patrick last week. Bibi isn’t seeing anyone either.’ James’s heart leapt, then fell again. It was what he wanted to hear, of course. But then again .. .
‘What’s the point?’ Wearily he stirred sugar into his coffee. ‘Even if I do still love her — and God only knows how she feels about me — what would be the point? She’s still thirteen years older than I am.’ He sounded resigned. ‘She’ll always be thirteen years older than me.’
‘Tell me what you’re afraid of,’ Liza said bluntly. ‘No, hang on, I’ll tell you. You’re afraid that in ten or twenty years’ time Bibi will either go loopy and need looking after, or die.’ She paused, fixing James with her steady gaze. ‘So what am I, spot on?’
It was impossible to lie to Liza. James had had long enough to think about it now. He had got over his initial outrage at being deliberately deceived.
‘I suppose so.’ Reluctantly he nodded.
‘But in the meantime you’re miserable and Bibi’s miserable,’ Liza went on, ‘and the whole of this last year has been a waste.’
‘Look, I know what you’re saying. I just—’
‘Please, James. I wasted time too, agonising over the fact that I was older than Kit.’ She shrugged. ‘And look what happened.’
‘I know, I know.’
‘If you have a chance to be happy, take it,’ Liza told him, ‘and sod what might happen in twenty years’ time. Believe me,’ she said simply, life’s too short.’
It was midnight when James finally made a move to leave. Opening the front door to let him out, Liza rubbed her arms as the icy night air swirled into the hallway.
In the dim porch light, she saw the flecks of silver glinting in James’s neat dark beard. They hadn’t been there last year.
She reached up and touched the soft bristles.
‘You’re going grey.’
He pulled a face.
‘Thanks a lot.’
‘No, it suits you.’
‘I’ve spent the last year feeling pretty grey.’
‘You could do something about that,’ said Liza.
‘What, Grecian 2000?’
‘I mean get in touch with Bibi.’
James reached for her hand. He held it for a few seconds then kissed her fingertips, breathing in the faint oriental scent of her perfume.
‘You’re thinking something,’ said Liza. ‘What are you thinking?’
‘How beautiful you are. And how desirable.’ He smiled and shook his head, marvelling at the fact that he was able to say the words aloud. ‘I was thinking that if things had been different, if it hadn’t been for Bibi ... and Kit ... I wonder if we could have got together.’
‘How weird, that’s what I was thinking too.’
‘And?’
‘Well,’ said Liza, ‘with my track record, I’d say it would definitely have been on the cards. But there again, with my track record ...’ She bit her lip and smiled.
‘... we’d have lasted all of two weeks.’ James finished the sentence for her.
‘Who knows, maybe even three.’
He grinned.
‘Three. I’m flattered.’
Liza’s mouth was inches away from his own. He could have kissed her, but he didn’t.
‘It’s better this way.’ Liza was still smiling but her teeth were starting to chatter. ‘Friends last longer than lovers.’
Across the road, a group of partygoers who had spilled out of Robert and Delia’s house were now piling noisily into their cars.
‘You’re shivering. Time I was gone,’ said James. He gave Liza a hug.
She returned the hug and kissed him fondly on the cheek.
‘Have a good Christmas.’ Giving him a meaningful look, she added, ‘Make it a good Christmas.’
James wondered what kind of a Christmas Liza could look forward to this year. He nodded, feeling desperately sorry for her.
‘You too.’
Chapter 51
There were two weeks to go and everyone within a fifty-mile radius of Bath had decided to do all their late- night Christmas shopping tonight.
